shy, and that makes him awkward and ill at ease. One who lacks self-control is nervous and unconsciously falls into habits which annoy other people. Besides, he is easily surprised and quick tempered, and so is betrayed into hasty speech and action. A person who is not sure of his own worth is usually snobbish. He curries favor of people whom he thinks above him, and is rude to his supposed inferiors. Finally, simplicity is the key-note of good breeding. Affected, pretentious manners are in bad taste because they are insincere.
You see, manners are very close to morals. The only sure foundation for them is a fine character. Having that one cannot go very far wrong in the important things of behavior. That is why you may find good manners on a poor and lonely farm, and very bad manners in a rich and socially prominent family. There are people of great wealth in every capital of the world who knock in vain at the doors of good society, and poor men who are welcomed in royal palaces. When Lincoln went to the White House as President, there were many customs of society that he had never heard of, but no one made a mistake about his being a gentleman. He was kind and helpful, he was true, he had personal dignity and moral courage. Then, he was observant, so that he readily picked up the many social requirements of his high position. Social customs are much the same everywhere. There are small local differences that are quickly discovered by keeping one's eyes open. Every observance has some good reason behind it. Oftener than you think you will find yourself saying: "Why, of course, that is what a well-bred person would do."
- Good manners, as we call them, are
- neither more nor less than good behavior,
- consisting of courtesy and kindness.
- —Smiles.
