Songs and Lyrics (Lehrer)/Polaroid Photography Song

by Thomas Andrew Lehrer

POLAROID PHOTOGRAPHY SONG (long version)

written for the September 1980 Polaroid Sales Meeting

words by Tom Lehrer

tune: "The Major General's Song" from The Pirates of Penzance (Gilbert and Sullivan)

Of uses for our photographs you'll find a multiplicity,
From quality control to advertising and publicity,

Computer graphics, diagnostics, also radiometry,
Endoscopy and dentistry and microdensitometry,

And micrometalography and paper chromatography,
Spectrography, thermography, and color scintillography,

For studies biomedical and studies anatomical,
[soft] For bodies microscopic and
[loud] For bodies astronomical!

CHORUS:

For bodies microscopic and for bodies astronomical, For bodies microscopic and for bodies astronomical, For bodies microscopic and for bodies astronomic-omical!

Geology, oncology, pathology, myology,
Astrology --- astrology? --- forget it, my apology ---
With spectroscopes, oscilloscopes, and cam'ras ultrasonical,
There 's hardly any science that is missing from this chronicle.

CHORUS:

With spectroscopes, oscilloscopes, and cam'ras ultrasonical, There's hardly any science that is missing from this chronicle.

Acoustical holography, computerized tomography,
Diffraction crystallography and autoradiography.
In short, in ev'ry field from cosmic rays to choreography
There's bound to be a way of using Polaroid photography.

CHORUS:

In short, in every field from cosmic rays to choreography There's bound to be a way of using Polaroid photography.

[Getting faster and faster:]

In short, in ev'ry field from cosmic rays to choreography
There's bound to be a way of using Polaroid photography.

CHORUS:

In short, in every field from cosmic rays to choreography There's bound to be a way of using Polaroid photography.

[recorded at Falmouth, Massachusetts, with the chorus and orchestra of the College Light Opera Company, conducted by Bill Tyler]

POLAROID PHOTOGRAPHY SONG (short version)

written for a 1972 Polaroid promotional film

words by Tom Lehrer

tune: "The Major General's Song" from The Pirates of Penzance (Gilbert and Sullivan)

(first 4 lines piano only)

There's infra-red photography and high-speed oscillography,
Micrography, macrography, and also keratography,
Spirography, spectrography, diffraction crystallography,
Thermography, holography, and autoradiography.

There's micrometallography and paper chromotography,
Seismography, myography, and color scintillography,
In short in every field from cosmic rays to choreography,
There's bound to be a way of using Polaroid photography. (gasp! )