Songs and Lyrics (Lehrer)/S-N (Snore, Sniff, and Sneeze)

by Thomas Andrew Lehrer

S-N (SNORE, SNIFF, AND SNEEZE)

(from The Electric Company)

words and music by Tom Lehrer

VERSE:

Like a rooster loves a hen, Like a lion loves his den, Like Barbie loves Ken, I love to do things that begin with "S-N":

I love to sneeze — (sneeze)
[spoken] Pardon me, please — (sneeze)
I like to sniffle, it really feels nice.
One handkerchief'll
Just never suffice.
But, brother, watch out for the breeze
When I sneeze — (sneeze — sneeze — sneeze)

I love to sniff — (sniff)
[spoken] Just take a whiff — (sniff)
I also like snarling, it feels good to me.
Snarling is darling,
I'm sure you'll agree.
But I'm even happier if
I can sniff — (sniff)
And sneeze — (sneeze)

I love to snore — (snore)
[spoken] It's more like a roar — (snore)
I like to snooze, I like resting my head.
I take off my shoes,
And I snuggle in bed. (Alt.: And lie down on my bed)
Sometimes I just lie on the floor
And snore — (snore)
And sniff — (sniff)
And sneeze — (sneeze — sneeze — sneeze)

Sometimes I just like to snicker "tee-hee"
Or snub any snob who is snotty to me.^[1]
And whenever I have a few moments to spend,
[spoken] I can snoop on a neighbor or snitch on a friend!
But much more than any of these
I love to snore. . . . and to sniff. . . . and to sneeze.

(snore — sniff — sneeze, repeated while fading out)

1. Alt.: Sometimes I just like to snicker or sneer, Or sneak 'round a corner and just disappear.