Fables of Æsop and Other Eminent Mythologists/Fable CCCLXIII

by Roger L'Estrange

Fab. CCCLXIII.

An Ass taught Grammar.

THere was a Bold Undertaking Pedant, Wager'd his Neck against a certain Sum of Mony, that in Ten Years time he would Teach an Ass to Write, Read, and Chop Logick. His Friends called him a Thousand Mad-men for casting away his Life upon so Absolute an Impossibility. Pray Gentlemen (says the Undertaker) have but a little Patience; for 'tis odds, that before the Term's out, either the Prince Dyes, (that's a Party to the Contract,) or the Ass Dyes, or the Adventurer Dyes, and then the Danger's over.

The Moral.

Collusion without Malice, is in many Cases, not only Landable but Necessary.

REFLEXION.

There are some Cases wherein a Man may Justify some sort of Shuffling and Evading, without any Offence to Honour or Good Faith; as in a case for the Purpose, where the gaining of Time, may be as much as a Man's Life or Estate is worth. Some Men are but one Remove from some Asses, and the difficulty of Teaching the one, is next door to the impossibility of Teaching the other. The very Proposition is a Whimsy Pleasant enough, to shew the Vanity of attempting to make a Philosopher of a Blockhead: Neither is it of a Quality to be understood according to the Letter. So that in such a case, if a Man can but save himself by a Shift, or a Figure, 'tis all that can be desired; and the Conditions naturally implied, fall within the fair Equity of the Question. There are certain Bounds and Terms of Raillery that may very well stand with the Rules of Honesty and Good Manners that is to say, Where the Liberty carries neither Malice, Sauciness, nor Ill Nature along with it: And the discreet manage of such a sort of Freedom, betwixt Jest and Earnest, Seasons the Entertainment of an Agreeable Conversation. We shonld say to our selves in all our Distresses upon the apprehension of Temporal Difficulties to come, as this Pedant in the Fable did to his Relations and Companions; Let it be Bondage, Loss of Friends, Beggery, Banishment, nay Death it self, [This or that way Intervene.] It is an Unaccountable weakness for a Man to put himself upon the Torture at present, for fear somebody else should Torment him Seven Years hence. Is it not enough for us to be Miserable when the time comes, unless we make our selves so Beforehand, and by Anticipation? When we have gone as far as Conscience, Honour, Industry, and Human Prudence can carry us, toward the preventing, or the averting of the Danger that threatens us, we are to remit the rest to Providence, and wait the good Pleasure of Heaven with Patience, Humility and Resignation. This Man was to dye at Seven Years end, unless he could bring to pass a thing Impossible. Now sooner or later, (and which of the Two is uncertain,) we are all of us to dye. Why are we not as Sollicitous now for the Certainty of the Thing, as for the Appointment of the Time, when a Thousand Accidents may interpose to divert the one, and the other is wholly inevitable?