Lapsus Calami (Apr 1891)/The Littlego

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The Littlego

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Dated 1880, "The Littlego" was first published in the "Combi Songs" section of the first edition of Lapsus Calami. It was eliminated in the third edition, but reinstated in the posthumous version put out by the author's brother. The "Little-Go" was "The examination held in the Cambridge University in the second year of residence" (Ebenezer Cobham Brewer, Dictionary of Phrase and Fable, volume 2, p. 764).

1799159Lapsus Calami — The LittlegoJames Kenneth Stephen

The Littlego

(Air: Kaphoozelum.)

When I was young and wholly freeFrom any vice, however nice,And did not yet aspire to beWhere men of beer and skittle go,My young idea used to shoot,Secure and gay, from day to day,Until I met that hideous bruteThe fiend-descended Littlego.

Chorus.

Oh! the Littlego, the Littlego, the Littlego!Oh! the Littlego, the daughter of the Devil!

Alas, poor victims that we are,Who sport beside the Cam's clear tide,Before we get us to the Bar, To Church or to Hospital go,We study Mr Paley's views,We have to deal with yards of steel,We likewise woo the tragic muse,And all to pass the Littlego.

Chorus.

I too, like other men, was coached,Was duly packed with fact on fact,And then that awful hall approachedWhere all who live by victual go: They ploughed me once, they ploughed me twice,I won't say when those cruel menDesisted, but let this suffice:I did get through the Littlego.

Chorus.

I feel inclined to prophesyThat this effete and obsoleteAnd hydra-headed pest will dieAnd to perdition it 'll go;They'll substitute for complex plansIncontinent abolishment,And only antiquariansWill care about the Littlego.

Chorus.

But still at that appalling hourWhen churchyards gape, a hideous shapeBehind me moved, by unseen power,Like some debauched bandit,'ll go:Enveloped in a Paley sheet,It waves on high an

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,And dogs me down each dismal street—The spectre of the Littlego.

Chorus.