More Nonsense Pictures, Rhymes, Botany, etc./Twenty-Six Nonsense Rhymes and Pictures

by Edward Lear

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TWENTY-SIX NONSENSE RHYMES AND PICTURES.

 

There was an old man of Dumbree,
Who taught little owls to drink tea;
For he said, “To eat mice, is not proper or nice,”
That amiable man of Dumbree.

There was an old person of Crowle,
Who lived in the nest of an owl;
When they screamed in the nest, he screamed out with the rest,
That depressing old person of Crowle.

The Goodnatured Grey Gull,
who carried the Old Owl, and his Crimson Carpet-bag,
across the river, because he could not swim.

The Lively Learned Lobster,
who mended his own Clothes with
a Needle and Thread.

There was an old person of Skye,
Who waltz’d with a Bluebottle fly:
They buzz’d a sweet tune, to the light of the moon,
And entranced all the people of Skye.

There was an old person of Rye
Who went up to town on a fly;
But they said, “If you cough, you are safe to fall off!
You abstemious old person of Rye!”

The Worrying Whizzing Wasp,
who stood on a Table, and played sweetly on a
Flute with a Morning Cap.

The Bountiful Beetle,
who always carried a Green Umbrella when it didn’t rain,
and left it at home when it did.

There was an old man of El Hums,
Who lived upon nothing but crumbs,
Which he picked off the ground, with the other birds round,
In the roads and the lanes of El Hums.

There was a young lady in white,
Who looked out at the depths of the night;
But the birds of the air, filled her heart with despair,
And oppressed that young lady in white.

The Queer Querulous Quail,
who smoked a Pipe of tobacco on the top of
a Tin Tea-kettle.

The Perpendicular Purple Polly,
who read the Newspaper and ate Parsnip Pie
with his Spectacles.

There was an old person of Hove,
Who frequented the depths of a grove;
Where he studied his books, with the wrens and the rooks,
That tranquil old person of Hove.

There was an old man of Dunrose;
A parrot seized hold of his nose.
When he grew melancholy, They said, “His name’s Polly,”
Which soothed that old man of Dunrose.

The Rural Runcible Raven,
who wore a White Wig and flew away
with the Carpet Broom.

There was an old person of Bree,
Who frequented the depths of the sea;
She nurs’d the small fishes, and washed all the dishes,
And swam back again into Bree.

The Hasty Higgeldipiggledy Hen,
who went to market in a Blue Bonnet and Shawl,
and bought a Fish for her Supper.

The Dolomphious Duck,
who caught Spotted Frogs for her dinner
with a Runcible Spoon.

There was an old person of Dundalk,
Who tried to teach fishes to walk;
When they tumbled down dead, he grew weary, and said,
“I had better go back to Dundalk!”

There was an old person of Cannes,
Who purchased three fowls and a fan;
Those she placed on a stool, and to make them feel cool
She constantly fanned them at Cannes.

There was an old person of Nice,
Whose associates were usually Geese.
They walked out together, in all sorts of weather.
That affable person of Nice!

There was an old man of Dunluce,
Who went out to sea on a goose:
When he’d gone out a mile, he obserwd with a smile,
“It is time to return to Dunluce.”

There was an old lady of France,
Who taught little ducklings to dance;
When she said, “Tick-a-tack!”—They only said, “Quack!”
Which grieved that old lady of France.

There was an old man of Cashmere,
Whose movements were scroobious and queer;
Being slender and tall, he looked over a wall,
And perceived two fat ducks of Cashmere.

There was an old person of Florence,
Who held mutton chops in abhorrence;
He purchased a Bustard, and fried him in Mustard,
Which choked that old person of Florence.

The Judicious Jubilant Jay,
who did up her Back Hair every morning with a Wreath of Roses,
Three feathers, and a Gold Pin.