A Ballad of the Boston Tea-Party (1874)

by Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

No! never such a draught was poured
  Since Hebe served with nectar
The bright Olympians and their Lord,
  Her over-kind protector,—
Since Father Noah squeezed the grape
  And took to such behaving
As would have shamed our grandsire ape
  Before the days of shaving,—
No! ne'er was mingled such a draught
  In palace, hall, or arbor,
As freemen brewed and tyrants quaffed
  That night in Boston Harbor!
It kept King George so long awake
  His brain at last got addled,
It made the nerves of Britain shake,
  With sevenscore millions saddled;
Before that bitter cup was drained,
  Amid the roar of cannon,
The Western war-cloud's crimson stained
  The Thames, the Clyde, the Shannon;
Full many a six-foot grenadier
  The flattened grass had measured,
And many a mother many a year
  Her tearful memories treasured;
Fast spread the tempest's darkening pall,
The storm broke loose, but first of all
  The Boston teapot bubbled!

An evening party,—only that,
  No formal invitation,
No gold-laced coat, no stiff cravat,
  No feast in contemplation,
No silk-robed dames, no fiddling band,
  No flowers, no songs, no dancing,—
A tribe of red men, axe in hand,—
  Behold the guests advancing!
How fast the stragglers join the throng,
  From stall and workshop gathered!
The lively barber skips along
  And leaves a chin half-lathered;
The smith has flung his hammer down,—
  The horseshoe still is glowing;
The truant tapster at the Crown
  Has left a beer-cask flowing;
The cooper's boys have dropped the adze,
  And trot behind their master;
Up run the tarry ship-yard lads,—
  The crowd is hurrying faster,—
Out from the Millpond's purlieus gush
  The streams of white-faced millers,
And down their slippery alleys rush
  The lusty young Fort-Hillers;
The ropewalk lends its 'prentice crew,—
  The tories seize the omen:
"Ay, boys, you'll soon have work to do
  For England's rebel foemen,
'King Hancock,' Adams, and their gang,
  That fire the mob with treason,—
When these we shoot and those we hang
  The town will come to reason."

On—on to where the tea-ships ride!
  And now their ranks are forming,—
A rush, and up the Dartmouth's side
  The Mohawk band is swarming!
See the fierce natives! What a glimpse
  Of paint and fur and feather,
As all at once the full-grown imps
  Light on the deck together!
A scarf the pigtail's secret keeps,
  A blanket hides the breeches,—
And out the cursèd cargo leaps,
  And overboard it pitches!
O woman, at the evening board
  So gracious, sweet, and purring,
So happy while the tea is poured,
  So blest while spoons are stirring,
What martyr can compare with thee,
  The mother, wife, or daughter,
That night, instead of best Bohea,
  Condemned to milk and water!

Ah, little dreams the quiet dame
  Who plies with rock and spindle
The patient flax, how great a flame
  You little spark shall kindle!
The lurid morning shall reveal
  A fire no king can smother
Where British flint and Boston steel
  Have clashed against each other!
Old charters shrivel in its track,
  His Worship's bench has crumbled,
It climbs and clasps the union-jack,
  Its blazoned pomp is humbled,
The flags go down on land and sea
  Like corn before the reapers;
So burned the fire that brewed the tea
  That Boston served her keepers!

The waves that wrought a century's wreck
  Have rolled o'er whig and tory;
The Mohawks on the Dartmouth's deck
  Still live in song and story;
The waters in the rebel bay
  Have kept the tea-leaf savor;
Our old North-Enders in their spray
  Still taste a Hyson flavor;
And Freedom's teacup still o'erflows
  With ever fresh libations,
To cheat of slumber all her foes
  And cheer the wakening nations!