A Gallery of Children/Chapter 9

by Alan Alexander Milne

THE BABY SHOW

Mr. THEOPHILUS BANKS was a very important man. His friends called him Theo. I forget what he did exactly, but it was very important, and if he didn't do it, then where should we all be? I don't know. Everything depended on Mr. Banks.

He had three children. The first was a girl, and she was called Jessica Banks after her Mother. The next was a boy, and he was called Theophilus Banks, after his Father, Theophilus Banks. Some people thought it would be rather confusing having two Theophiluses Bankses in the family, but Mr. Banks thought not. He said that for many years the child would be Master Banks, and if they liked they could call him Phil for short; and that by the time he was old enough to be Mr. Banks, his Father would be Judge Banks or Professor Banks, or Colonel Banks or President Banks—he hadn't quite decided yet. So the baby was called Phil for short. And then, later on, there was a third child, and as Mr. Banks couldn't very well call him Theophilus, too, he decided to keep as much of the name in the family as was possible. So the Baby was called Theodore, or Toddy for short.

Mr. Banks played golf. He was a very active man, and he played more golf in an afternoon than anybody else at his club. Sometimes the friends he was playing with would stop for tea after hitting the ball only seventy-five times, but Mr. Banks would never stop until he had hit it a hundred and twenty times. He was that sort of man. You would have thought that they would have given him a prize for being so active, but they didn't. They always gave it to the others. Almost everybody in the club was given a little silver cup except Mr. Banks. He used to feel very unhappy about it. Whenever he and Mrs. Banks went out to dinner with their friends, they would always see a silver cup on the table, and Mr. Binks (if that was the name of the friend) would explain to Mr. Banks how he had won the cup last Saturday, and Mrs. Binks would explain to Mrs. Banks how her husband had won it. And Mr. and Mrs. Banks would go home feeling very disheartened about it.

One day Mrs. Banks read in the paper that there was going to be a Baby Show in the town. She told Jessica, and Jessica said at once, "Oh, let's put Toddy in! What fun!"

"Put Toddy in, put Toddy in," cried Phil, thinking it was some sort of pond, and how funny Toddy would look in it.

"Oh, do let's," said Jessica, "and then if he won, Father would have a silver cup like the others."

Mrs. Banks suddenly remembered that it was Father's birthday next week. He had everything he wanted except a silver cup. How happy he would be if he could win one just in time for his birthday!

So Master Theodore Banks was entered for the Baby Show. Of course it was to be a secret from Mr. Banks, so every day when he was at the office where everything depended on him, the others used to get together and wonder how they could improve Toddy, so as to make sure that he would win the prize.

Mrs. Banks thought that he was perfect as he was.

Jessica thought that he would have been perfect if his hair had been a little more curly.

Phil thought that if he was put in a pond and made to swim, he would be much stronger. And perfecter.

So Jessica brushed and brushed and brushed his hair every day; and every day Phil tried to get hold of him so as to strengthen him. But Mrs. Banks kept him on the chest of drawers, so that Jessica could brush his hair and Phil couldn't quite reach him, and she thought to herself, "I believe he will win the prize after all." And every day when Mr. Banks came home from golf, she looked at him to see if he had won a silver cup; but he hadn't.

Mr. Banks hadn't been thinking much about his birthday. He knew he was 35 or 107 or something, and he knew it was this week, but nobody was more surprised than he when he came down to breakfast on Thursday, and found a beautiful parcel on his plate. You can guess how excited he was.

"Well, well, well, what can this be?" he said, and Phil nudged Jessica, and Jessica smiled at her Mother, and Phil jumped about and said, "Open it! Open it!" So Mr. Banks opened it.

"Well, well, well!" he said.

It was a silver cup.

"But what—?" he said.

Then he turned it round, and on the other side he saw:

first prize
(Division 1)
WON BY
theo banks

"But who—?" he said.

Then they explained how Theodore had won the prize, and how there hadn't been room to get all his name in, so they had had to put Theo.

"Well, well, well," said Mr. Theo. Banks again.

So, from that day, whenever Mr. and Mrs. Binks came to dinner, there was the silver cup on the table!

"Now we shall all live happy ever after, shan't we?" said Jessica to her Mother.

And they did.