A Song of College

by Robert E. Howard

Layout 2

A Song of College

Now is chapel gathered, now the seats are full,
Now the goodly president upon his hind legs rises
Launching on a discourse for the great god Bull,
Praising wealth and civic pride and other things he prizes.

While the chapel listens, smug and belly full
And the organ chants a ditty to the great god Bull.

Now the goodly resident waving arms in air
Blesses all the godly men who’ve strewn our land with roses.
O’er his shoulder hordes of ghosts nod and smirk and stare
As his words place chaplets fair on their Jewish noses.

And they smirk and they stare, each a chaplet on his skull,
Testifying power of the great god Bull.

Now the faculty arises to bray across the hall,
Each with high and weighty problems to present before their classes;
Was it wine or apple brandy Noah guzzled to his fall?
Shall we advocate striped trousers for the masses?

Each and every student falls silent then to mull
On the glory and the wisdom of the great god Bull.

And now they rise with deference and to their class rooms go
With sawdust, smoke and hokum to cram each empty skull,
And the teachers serve manure into hands sedate and slow
And all of them burn incense to the great god Bull.

Glory to the dollar! The colleges are full
Of students burning incense to the great god Bull.