Abroad with Mark Twain and Eugene Field/Where Tay Pay Isn't Tay Pay

by Henry William Fischer

WHERE TAY PAY ISN'T TAY PAY

"Tay Pay's Weekly," said Mark, proffering sixpence at a Cork news stand.

The woman behind the counter looked at him inquiringly. "New paper, Sir? Never heard of it."

"Never heard of Tay Pay? How long have you been in the business?" asked Mark.

"Ever since I was thirteen, and I'm past sixty now."

Mark shook his head and started to walk away, when he saw a copy of the paper nailed up on the outside. "I knew you were mistaken," he said to the woman. "There is the paper I want. See the title: 'Tay Pay,' as large as life."

"Pardon me," said the newswoman. "We call it Tee Pee's Weekly here."

"You do, do you?" cried Mark. "Damned if I ever again try to talk Irish in Ireland."