Account of the particular soliloquies and covenant engagements

by Janet Hamilton

ΑΝ

ACCOUNT

OF THE PARTICULAR

SOLILOQUIES

AND

COVENANT ENGAGEMENTS.

OF Mrs. JANET HAMILON, the deceas'd lady of ALEXANDER GORDON of Earlſton; upon the ſeveral dyets, and at the ſeveral places, under-written; which were found in her cabinet among her papers, after her death at Earlſton, Feb. 26. 1696. Being all written and ſubſcribed with her own hand, and thought fit to be diſcovered for the encouragement of others to the like duty.

 

 

GLASGOW:

Printed in the Year M, DCC, LIII.

The firſt dated at Blackness caſtle, December 1687.
As follows.

O Lord I deſire to bleſs thy name for thy former loving kindeſs unto me, in the day of my ſtrait, in helping and ſtanding by me, when overcharg'd with affliction, and deſerted of friends: What was I and my fathers houſe? A poor infufficient creature, taken up with nothing but vanities of all ſorts? O what moved ſo holy a God, ever to condefcend to look upon me; and paſs by ſo many much more worthy than poor undeſerving me? O praiſes be unto thee! O moſt high! O that my tongue were employ'd thro' time in magnifying the holy name of ſo merciful a God, may not I ſay, his mercies are over all his other works to me, may not I ſit down and admire of free love: Firſt, In inclining my heart to love him and his people, and in caſting my lot amongſt the godly, and in beſtowing a godly and kind husband upon me, (when left deſtitute without father or mother) and that he did ſo care for me as not to ſuffer me to enjoy the deſires of my heart, but was at pains to hedge in my way with thorns, and his infinite love ſuffered me not to ſit at my eaſe: enjoying my pleaſures in the day of Zions calamity. And prepared the way by ſmaller tryals for greater. Thou did in thy infinite wiſdom not at firſt caſt me into the hotteſt flames of the furnace, leaſt I ſhould not have been able to ſtand, but in fright fainted and turned back; but O praiſe! praiſe be to him that inhabites eternity, that condeſcended ſo far to me a worm, as ſweetly to train me up, alluring me and ſpeaking comfortably to me at my firſt entry into the wilderneſs: Thou cauſed thy word to be to my ſoul as the honey, and the honey comb. Thou made me ſit under thy ſhadow with great delight, and thy fruit was ſweet unto my tatte, ſo that many a time which to onlookers was ſad, was ſweet to me, the Lord did ſo ſupport, and fealled me in his banqueting houſe, that I was made to rejoice in the midſt of my tribulations. Likewiſe thou did not ſuffer me to go on with theſe who were indifferent in Chriſts matters, but with thy rod thou didſt raiſe ſuch a zeal and love on my ſpirit, and ſo filled my mouth with arguments, that I could not ſee any thing like defection from, or wrong done to any of thy truths, without reſenting, teſtifying and contending againſt it, thou ſo far changed my heart which was proud and haughty, much disdaining the converse of the poor, but thou helped me to be denied to great folk, and to the reproach I suffered on that head; making the company of the poor that were godly in the land dear unto me, and I hope they shall be so while they keep in God’s way, he having passed by the great ones and honoured the poor, boldly to testify for him and these whom he honours, I desire (thro’ grace) to honour. Praise be to thee whose care of me was such, that it was ministers who were valiant for Christ, that he sent in my way, such as did not flatter me in my sin, but faithfully and freely did hold out in the gospel what was sin and duty, and sealed the same with their blood: How did thou encourage me with many sweet answers of prayer to confirm me in thy love, thou did help me in the days of thy love to me, to make a full resignation of all that was mine unto thee, that when I was put out of all, stripped bare and destitute, not knowing of shelter to me and my poor babes, how calmly and quietly did thou help me to go under it, so that I was made to fear that it was stupidity, and not supporting grace; and such was thy love, that, even in that thou would not let me to go without a reproof; for there was a friend suffered to wrong me in a business, and the Lord withdrew, and then I was as bullock unaccustomed to the yoak; I could not get it born until I mourned for my folly in thinking that nature could do any thing in me, without affiliating grace, then he helped me to make a full resignation of new, of all that was mine, and to look beyond all earthly portions unto that noble inheritance which thou hast purchased with blood and gave me a full contentedness in all my sufferings both from friends and foes.

And when thou didst (for the tryal of my faith and patience) throw me in very hot flames of affliction, having all discouragements from the world, that a poor ⟨thing⟩ could be trysted with, and that which was forest to me, not having that measure of the sense of thy presence as sometimes before. But O that condescendance, O! that fatherly love that did not suffer me to link in this storm, which was lightly looked on by the most part, few to sympathize with me, but many thinking it their duty to add to my affliction. O praises! praises be to thee, who in that time helped me to sit silent, bearing thy indignation patiently, because I sinned against thee; yet thy mercies did not fail towards me, but thou did in this extremity secretly support me, and did by restraining grace bound me in, not giving me liberty to seek sinful deliverances. O Lord, continue in thy love in keeping me in thy way, that I may have reason to let up my Ebenezer, and to say, hitherto hath the Lord helped me. O thou that has begun this good work, perfect it, that I may praise thy holy name through time and all eternity. And now O Lord, out of the sense of all these thy loving kindnesses towards thy poor hand-maid, I desire in thy strength to renew former engagements, and solemnly anew to enter in covenant with thee: O Lord, help me to go sincerely about it, and let thy presence go along with the duty: O Lord, I here desire to enter solemnly in covenant with thee, taking thee for my Lord and master, and accepting thee on thy own terms, taking thee for my king, priest and prophet, and in my station, through thy grace, to stand by truth, and cheerfully to take on thy yoak and follow thee: Lord, thou knows my weakness, I desired to believe that thou will be a present help in the day of need to me, acording to thy promise: And I in the faith of this do go on, I here give my hearty consent to thy coming and taking possession in my soul, and to thy casting out of all there, that Hands in opposition to thee; come Lord Jesus, subdue all my corruptions and bring them under thy feet, that I may be thro’ thee a conqueror over them. I desire here to take thee for my all, to be ruled and governed by thee, acquiescing to whatsover shall be thy way of dealing with me; give me thy self, and this shall be all my desire. I desire to enter my protestation at the throne of G R A C E, against all principalities and powers in me that stand out against thee, and shall endeavour in thy strength, to war against them, for they reign as tyrants not having consent; whatever I have been, I do here accept of the offer of peace through Christ, and do make a sure covenant with thee this day, never to be ranversed, hoping thou wilt make all forthcoming unto me, both on thy part and mine. I desire here to own all the contravened truths that are founded on thy holy word, which word, I desire to be my rule, and to confess thee before men, that thou may confess me before the Father: Lord give me it in that hour, if I shall be brought before great ones for thy names sake; I desire to adhere to all the articles of thy covenants, national and solemn league to which I stand engaged, only disown the kings part of it, he having ankinged himself by the breach of covenants, and by making our land a land of graven images, that was solemnly given up to God; I desire in weakness, to adhere unto it, altho’ burnt by the hand of the hang-man, and now buried by the hand of these that better things was expected of. O Lord I desire to close all by giving myself up to thee, and all mine; accept, Lord Jesus Christ, and help to perform, and own me as thy covenanted child, protesting humbly,that failing on my part (against which I resolve, as thou knowest) shall not make void this covenant, I having accepted of thy offer, upon thy own terms, and will henceforth wait for what is good, that when thou comest I may rejoice in thee, crying, this is my God and I have waited for him, as witness my hand at Blackness castle December, 1687.

Sic subscribitur,

JANET HAMILTON.

The second dated at Earlston, Jan. 1691.

LORD, thou knowest my former engagements, which past betwixt my soul and thee, when I entered in covenant with thee (to my souls great comfort) in the sweet castle of Blackness, I giving myself up unto thee, promising to be for thee in my nation, adhering to thy sacred scriptures, and to our noble work of reformation (which was then the head of my sufferings) and for which I had lost the favour of my relations, and Christian friends, whole untenderness to me made me sit solitary, eating the bread of adversity and drinking the water of affliction, killed all the day long with sore and heavy reproaches, few or none to simpathize with me but thyself, who sweetened all my tryals, with the soul comforting consolations of thy holy spirit: such contentedness thou gave me in thy sweet cross, that I never knew what it was to weary; I at that time engaged to endure whatever ingredients thou should put in my cup to drink, and to drink it chearfully and submissively, such was thy love to me, that thou brought me from under the feet of that cruel enemy, without wronging truth, and has letten me see that I have nothing to boast of, it being nothing in me but meer free grace thus perfected strength in my weakness. O! that I had the tongue of the learned, that i might shew forth thy praises; It was not I, but thou who magnified thy power, in carrying a poor weak thing thro’ such depths, and offered great ones to stagger and fall in the way, thy word was made out in making use of the foolish things of the world to confound the wife, thou hast made thy infinite love to carry thro’ a poor finite creature: How often have I been made to stand, and wonder and admire free love, knowing my own weakness and the many infirmities I am lyable to by a body of sin and death; such was thy love, that thou gave me such courage, that neither the flattering of friends, nor the threats of enemies, could move me to do any thing to truths disadvantage, such was thy love to me. O thy sweet cross! Thy yoak was made easy unto me, and thy burden light. O that any should scar at thy soul instructing rods! How many lessons of Christianity is to be learned under thy rod, and so much comfort and consolation to be found in quietly and calmly acquiescing to his will; that I may say, I shall never have such contentedness, were I to be inheritor of the whole world, as I had under the sweet cross of Christ. O praises! praises to him who made it so. But with what a heavy heart, did I come out of that castle ot Blackness, the Lord did give me such a light of the intricate dispensations, that the church was to meet with by the coming over of the Prince of Orange that instead of being compast about with songs of deliverance, it was attended with great heavines; I could take pleasure in nothing, but in mourning over the sad things that I saw coming on the church: When others were rejoicing, I durst not make mention of my disconsolate care. When they spake of preferment to my family, it was a sword to my heart; I cryed, and the Lord heard me in that, and instead of that, he gave me assurance of the salvation of my dear child William; And gave me full submission to his likeness, which I could never win to before, accompanied with many sweet melting days, which was to me an unexpressible mercy. Oh then! what did I see next? The work of God betrayed, not by enemies, nor by that party only, that had sitten at their ease, but by these ministers and people, that had jeoparded their lives in the high places of the fields, taking chearfully the spoiling of their goods: These are they that have buried the work of the Lord, sadned the hearts of their poor afflicted brethren, buried the covenant, and the work of reformation, which was the glory of our land. Seeing; all this with the home coming to my house, which I never thought to have enjoyed, until Christ had been restored to his rights; for, O Lord, thou knowest I desired not delivery, till it had come with Zions. I say, this cast me into a great grief; Lord thou knowest my burthen, it is not hid from thee, and this is all my comfort, O the depths, the intricate dispensations, I have been trysted with, since I came out of that foresaid castle, if it were not that my care and Zions is somewhat levelled alike, surely I should sink beneath the dream; but the cup which my father hath given me, shall I not drink it: Lord help me, that I weary not before it be at an end: Would it not affect any soul, that ever had any love to Christ, to see the sad fruit of a personal delivery, every one running out of the furnace, after the world, and alter their own rights and privileges,without being concerned to enquire how Christ is invested in his rights and prerogatives. Oh! is this all the gratitude we have shown him for all his loving kindnefs to us in the wilderness? For his feeding, cloathing, and preserving in despite of enemies. Is this all we have rendered to him, to run as so many sheep out of a fold, every one to what he could win at, without ever looking and considering what was their duty to do in such a time for Christ and his cause. O wrath is gone out against us! plague upon plague is the portion alotted for the professors of this generation. O Lord, I fear I and many others have been building upon a sandy foundation! Suffering more out of an expectation of a temporal delivery, than out of love to Christ and his cause! The event of the sufferings of Scotland speaks out the truth of this, the fight whereof, has made my heart to tremble. Therefore, O Lord! I desire that thou would discover the deceit of my heart in this, with a true sense of it upon my spirit, that I may mourn in secret places for it, and give me thy assisting grace, and helping hand in this reeling, fainting and failing time, that I may be helped in singleness and uprightness of heart, and in sincerity without hypocrisy or guile, to lay that foundation one right, which is Jesus Christ! O come and give thy consent to this covenant and bargain this day! Let thy presence shew thy satisfaction in it, that I may win to the faith, that not only I have covenanted with thee, but that thou has condescended in thy infinite love to covenant with me, and has made it sure in every thing. Now Lord, I desire to enter in covenant with thee this day, in opposition to all the corruptions of a body of sin, that I am mastered with: I desire in thy fight to protest against all things in me or my family, that is not like thee, and this day to invite thee back to my house on any terms, and do not break us with thy long absence. Come Lord Jesus and take up thy dwelling amongst us; we are a heartless company without thee, come to the heads, and tell us what is our duty, and put work in our hands, art thou passing by us as one that has no more work ado for us. O Lord I cannot think upon this, let not our iniquities put a stop in thy way, come over the mountains of oppositions, and put us to duty, and keep us at duty, and dwell with us. I invite thee to come to my poor babes, let them be of these little children that thou suffers to come unto thee; salvation to him that appears to be near his close, let him have mercy in end thro’ a compleat mediator Christ, let thy sympathy and free love be extended towards him, he being one of thy sufferers, wanting the administration of thy sacrament of baptism, because of the unfaithfulness of ministers. Lord, thou knows it was not in contempt of thy holy ordinance, that it was wanting, but we could not in our station show any more eminent way our dislike to the injuries done to thee, O Lord, by unfaithful ministers. All their treachery is well known to thee. Lord break the snares and let thy poor flock escape, and hasten the day when my kids shall feed beside the shepherds tents. I invite thee this day to every soul within my family, let the work of grace be amongst them all, every one encouraging another in the way of duty, that we may be a little sanctuary for thee to dwell in. I invite thee O Lord, this day to return to poor covenanted Scotland, altho’ she has broken covenant with thee, yet thou must not give up with her. Remember thy former loving kindness to her, and for thy own names sake return, return, and deliver; are not enemies crying that they have gotten of the sons and daughters of Zion to help them to lay on the grave done to hold down the work. Are not enemies crying, where is the covenanted God of Scotland, and saying if this work had been of God, it would have flood; so that all the blood of thy people, and the cause of God, for which they suffered, is now buried with the mockery of some, and joy of others; but thou who is the lion of the tribe of Judah, rouse up thy self, and let it be known to all nations, that the covenanted God of Scotland lives and reigns. O that the resurrection of thy buried work were more glorious than ever, let Zions walls be built again, so that she may be beautiful as Tirzah, comely as Jerusalem, fair as the moon, clear as the sun, and terrible as an army with banners; so that her enemies may tremble, and her children who for along time have been mourning over herrubish, may rejoice in her comely order, and be compast about with songs. I invite thee to the poor betrayed, scattered societies in Scotland, that thou art now justly contending with; the marks of thy displeasure are evidently to be seen in every meeting, an absent God in every piece of duty, love and tenderness much gone, heart-burnings, and contendings, and luke-warmness bred, nothing like a practical work among the most part, or making any progress in the way of Christianity. Is not all this come upon us, because our God is not amongst us. O that thou Lord would return and make known for what thou art contending, and remove their spiritual plagues, and let thy spirit be poured out among the poor sinners in Zion, and let them again behold the kings face in peace. I desire to invite thee to every afflicted and wearied soul, that is tost, and like to faint on the dark mountains, passing thro’ dark steps and none to speak comfortably unto them, but every one adding to their grief. Lord appear thou for their help, and shorten these days for the elects sake, lest they faint under the burden, and put forth their hands to iniquity. I desire this day to covenant with thee in opposition to all the power civil and ecclesiastic that has eaten out the life of christianity, and stands in opposition to thee and thy precious truths, and ingage never to own them till they be for thee; this I ingage in the strength of the Lord. I adhere to all the truths of the old and new testaments, and to all the testimonies given by thy people for the carrying on thy work. I desire to adhere to the now buried covenants,and to all the work of reformation, which is founded upon thy word. Lord, help a poor weak insufficient creature to hold by this vow, and paying vows unto thee. I do this day give up my dear husband and children unto thee, that thou may make them for thee, and employ them in thy service be the hazard what it will. O Lord take them off my hand, that they may be asked in thy love; in that day when thou goes thorow the land, with the devouring sword, let them, get their souls for a prey, and he found within the bonds of the everlasting covenant. This is all my desire, grace in exercise be their portion. I do this day solemnly enter in covenant with thee, holding up my hands, vowing to be thine, giving my self up unto thee, closing with thee on thy own terms, begging thee to come and put to thy seal to this great work: And I desire that this covenant may be as a staff to hold me up from staggering on the dark mountains. Lord help me to have a practice in sincerity, like one in covenant with thee O Lord! I do take the stones in the wall, and the timber of the house to witnesses that I have given up my self, and all mine unto thee, O Lord this day; As witness my hand at Earlston January, 1691.Sic subscribitur,

JANET HAMILTON.

The third dated at Airds, June 1695.

I Out of the sense of my own weakness, and the great falling away of this generation, do desire to renew my covenant engagements. The Lord has been kind unto me, he has not been a barren wilderness, nor a land of drought; in the day of famine, he has fed me in the green pastures. O for grace to improve all thy loving kindness towards me, and accept my weak performances, which I desire to do only in thy strength. O help me to covenant right with thee, and to keep covenant vows to thee. I do again give up all that I have unto thee, I give up my dear sympathizing husband to thee, put work in his hand, that may be for thy glory, his souls comfort, and truths advantage, that we may rejoice in thee, in the way of thy salvation. My dear brother, I likewise give him up unto thee,his case is known unto thee, thou hast hitherto helped him, and I desire to believe thou will continue thy love. O Lord, thou hast given me a little flock, dear and precious Christ, as thou hast given them unto me, I do freely, and solemnly give them back unto thee, and desire that thou may dispose of them at thy pleasure, only let grace be given to them, that they may be employed in their stations for thy glory, and may be keeped free of the abominations of the time. Do with them, as to the world, as thou thinks fit, only convey gracedown to their posterity, let them be pleaders for thee, as I have pleaded for them at the throne of grace This is all my desire, and would be my comfort to see. O Lord, come this day, and smile upon my poor gift, and accept of them; I solemnly stand to all my former engagements, and make a solemn resignation of myself unto thee, and desire to close with thee on thy own terms, O let to thy seal to it, and condescend in thy love, to let it be registrate in heaven, that whatever may be my case or tryals, I may have a covenanted God to run to; Lord keep me in thy way, and help me to stand by truth. I desire this day to protest against all the incroachments that are made on thy rights and church privileges. And I desire to protest this day before thy throne, against the soul murdering courses that ministers and people are taking. And I desire to protest against that horrid abomination of defiling the Lord’s table, after such an ignominious manner. Oh poor Scotland! What shall be thy end ? Wrath, from on high, for your sacrilegious abominations: I desire this day to adhere to all thy covenanted truths founded upon thy holy word; I desire to mourn over any thing that is in me or mine, that is offensive in thy sight? O Lord, let us be wholly for thee, acting for thee with a perfect heart; I desire no longer to have a posterity than they are for thee. O Father, Son and Holy Ghost, come and be witness to this bargain, and close with me that desires to close with thee and to be thy covenanted child. Here I take the trees of the wood, and all the works of creation about me, to witness that I have given all mine unto thee, not in my strength, but in thine O Lord Jehovah, to whom I desire this day to give everlasting praises, that thou shalt not suffered my table to be empty, whilst others are defiling thine. O praise! praise forever be to thee. As witness my hand at Airds, June 1695.Sic subscribitur

JANET HAMILTON.

"If any suspect this as counterfit, or vitiat, they may go to her husband, who can shew them the principal, all written and subscribed with her own hand."

 

FINIS.