Advice to Young Ladies/Chapter 9
Chapter IX.
Dress.
On this subject we do not feel competent to give any particular directions. In matters of female attire, a woman’s taste is, as a general thing, always superior to a man’s. Still, we see a great many badly-dressed women, where the defect does not arise from any want of the means to dress, but from bad taste. The fault of over-dressing is the most common, and this is almost always attended with an unharmonious arrangement of colors.
All that pertains to the particular modes of dress, and to the harmony of colors, has been so fully set forth in the various books prepared for and accessible to young ladies, that for us to attempt any thing of the kind here would be entirely useless, even if we had given sufficient attention to the subject to be able clearly to set the matter forth, which we confess that we have not. We can tell when we see a lady dressed in good taste, but we cannot tell a lady exactly how she should dress to be in good taste. It is much easier to detect a fault than to produce a harmonious arrangement. And it is much easier for a man to see faults in a lady’s dress than to give directions for dressing faultlessly.
As we have just said, we do not feel competent to give particular directions here, and therefore shall not attempt to do so. We refer to dress, in this place, merely for the purpose of making one or two rather general remarks on the subject.
As in almost every thing else in this world, people are very apt to run into opposite extremes in the matter of dress. While we have one class of persons who seem to think of nothing else but dress, and who load themselves with gay clothing and ornaments until they appear ridiculous in the eyes of sensible people, there is another class that as unwisely reject all ornaments, and array themselves in garments of the dullest hue. In this, as in all other things, the happy medium is the true one. In order to attain this happy medium, some attention must be paid to the end for which dress is regarded. If a love of admiration, and a mere fondness for appearing in gay attire, alone prompt a woman to give attention to dress, she will be almost sure to overstep the bounds of good sense and good taste. The hand of either pride or vanity always shows itself in a woman’s dress, in spite of every effort to hide it.
To dress with neatness, taste, and propriety, is the duty of every young lady; and she should give just as much thought and attention to the subject as will enable her to do it, and no more. Unless she do give to it both thought and attention, however, she will not be able to dress with taste and propriety. Occasionally we meet with instances where young ladies affect, or really feel, indifference in regard to dress. Every thing like ornament is eschewed as beneath the dignity of an intelligent being. The higher colors never appear in any of their garments, and ribbons are used with a degree of caution that is quite amusing. All this might be tolerated if good taste accompanied their simplicity of attire; but, unfortunately, a want of good taste is, in most cases, the primary cause of the indifference they manifest. But, as there exists in woman a natural fondness for dress, the opposite extreme to this is the one into which young girls most frequently run, unless they are guided and controlled, as is usually the case, by the sounder and purer taste of a mother, an elder sister, or some judicious friend. In order to keep herself from running into this extreme, a young lady should guard against the common fault of dressing for the purpose of attracting attention. If she have a fondness for gay colors, let her use them, but not to excess; on the contrary, if her taste lead her to select those more subdued and less attractive, let her taste be her guide. In regard to ornaments, they are proper to be used, and, when worn by a person of good taste in their selection and arrangement, add very much to a woman’s appearance.
An idea prevails very generally, among some persons, that all attention to dress, or the following of the fashions, as they usually term it, is a useless waste of money and time, and an actual injury to the moral state of the person who thus pays a regard to dress. There is no doubt that following the fashions to an excess, and thinking about little else than dress, is just as great an evil as it is here alleged to be. But it is one thing to do this, and another thing to have such a regard for external order, beauty, and propriety, as shall make our appearance pleasing to our friends, and our presence welcome in circles of taste and refinement. If we dress with a singularity because of a weak prejudice against the prevailing fashions, or outrage all true taste by incongruities of attire, our presence cannot be pleasing to our friends, nor welcome in refined and intelligent circles.
The true standard of dress for a young lady is that which happens to prevail in the present; but, in adopting it, she should carefully avoid its extremes. If it trenches upon modesty, or endangers her health, let her so far not follow it. These extremes she can easily avoid, and yet not appear singular.