Arabian Nights Entertainments (1706)/Volume 4/The Little Hunch-back
The hundred and Twenty Third Night.
DInarzade did not fail to awake the Sultaneis of the Indies before Day; and the Sultaneſs, after asking leave of the Sultan, begun the Story ſhe had promiſed, to the following Purpoſe.
The Story of the Little Hunch-Back.
THere was in former Times at Caſgar, upon the utmoſt Skirts of Tartary, a Taylor that had a pretty Wife, whom he loved entirely, and was reciprocally loved by her. One Day, as he ſat at work, a little Hunch-back’d my Lord came and ſat him down at his Shop Door, and fell a ſinging, and at the ſame time play’d upon a Taber. The Taylor took Pleaſure to hear him, and a ſtrong Mind to take him into his Houſe to make his Wife merry: This little Fellow (ſays he to his Wife) will divert us both very agreeably. In fine, he invited my Lord in, and he readily accepted of the Invitation, ſo the Taylor ſhut up his Shop and carried him Home. The little Gentleman being carried in, the Taylor’s Wife covered the Table, they ſat down to Supper, and had a good large Diſh of Fiſh ſet before ’em; but as they eat heartily, unluckily the the crooked Gentleman ſwallowed a large Bone, of which he died in a few Minutes, notwithſtanding all that the Taylor and his Wife could do to prevent it. Both the one and the other were mightily frightned at the Accident, eſpecially ſince it fell in their Houſe, and there was ground to fear that if the Juditiary Magiſtrates came to hear of it, they would be puniſh’d as Aſſaſſins. However the Husband found an Expedient to get rid of the Corps; he conſider’d there was a Jewiſh Doctor that lived juſt by, and ſo formed a Project; in the Execution of which his Wife and he took the Corps, the one by the Feet and the other by the Head, and carried it to the Phyſician’s Houſe. They knocked at the Door, from which aſcended a ſteep Pair of Stairs to his Chamber. As ſoon as they had knocked, the Servant Maid came down, without any Light, and opening the Door asked what they wanted. Prithee go up again ſays the Taylor, and tell your Maſter we have brought him a Man that’s very fick, and wants his Advice. Here, ſays he, putting a Piece of Money into her Hand, give him that before hand, to convince him that we have no mind to make him loſe his Labour. While the Servant was gone up to acquaint her Maſter with the welcome News, the Taylor and his Wife nimbly convey’d the Hunch-back’d Corps to the Head of the Stairs, and leaving it there, ſcowr’d off.
In the mean time the Maid having told the Doctor, that a Man and a Woman ſtaid for him at the Door, deſiring he would come down and look upon a ſick Man they brought with them; and the Maid clapping the Money ſhe had receiv’d into his Hand, the Doctor was tranſported with Joy; being paid before-hand thought it was a good Chap, and ſhould not be neglected. Light, Light, cries he to the Maid, follow me nimbly. However, without ſtaying for the Light, he gets to the Stair-head, and that in fuch haſte that ſtumbling againſt the Corps, he gave him ſuch a Kick, as made him tumble quite down to the Stair-foot: Nay, he had almoſt fallen himſelf, and tumbled down along with my Lord. A Light, a Light, cries he to the Maid, Quick, Quick. At laſt the Maid came with a Light, and ſo he went down Stairs with her; but when he ſaw that the ſlumbling Block he had kicked down was a dead Man, he was ſo frighted, that he invoked Moſes, Aaron, Joſhua and Eſdras, and all the other Prophets of his Law. Unhappy Man that I am, ſaid he, what made me offer to come down without a Light? I have e’en made an end of the Fellow that was brought me to be cured: Queſtionleſs, I am the Cauſeof his Death, and unleſs Esdra’s Aſs[1] comes to aſſiſt me, I’m ruined: Mercy on me, they will be here out of hand, and lug me out of my Houſe for a Murderer.
But notwithſtanding the Perplexity and Jeopardy he was in, he had the Precaution to ſhut his Door, for fear any one paſſing by in the Street ſhould obſerve the Miſchance, of which he reckon’d himſelf to be the Author, Then he took the Corps into his Wife’s Chamber, upon which ſhe ſwooned away.
Alas! cried ſhe, we are utterly ruin’d, undone, undone, unleſs we fall upon ſome Expedient or other to turn the Corps out of our Houſe this Night! Beyond all Queſtion, if we harbour it here till Morning, our Lives muſt pay for it. What a ſad Miſchance is this! Why, how did you do to kill this Man? That is not the Queſtion, replies the Jew, our Buſoneſs now is, to find out a Remedy for ſuch a ſhocking Accident But, Sir, ſays Scheherazade, I do not conſider ’tis Day. So ſhe ſtopt, and next Night purſued her Story as follows.
The hundred and Twenty Fourth Night,
THE Doctor and his Wife conſulted together how to get rid of his dead Corps that Night. The Doctor racked his Brains in vain, he could not think of any Stratagem to get clear; but his Wife who was more fertile in Invention ſaid, I have a Thought comes into my Head; let’s carry the Corps to the Leads of our Houſe, and tumble him down the Chimney into the Houſe of the Muſſelman our next Neighbour.
This Muſſelman or Turk was one of the Sultan’s Purveyors, for furniſhing Oil, Butter, and all ſorts of Fat, Tallow, &c. and had a Magazine in his Houſe where the Rats and Mice made prodigious Havock.
The Jewiſh Doctor approving the propoſed Expedient, his Wife and he took the little Hunch-back up to the Roof of the Houſe and, clapping Ropes under his Arm-Pits, let him down the Chimney ſo ſoftly and dextrouſly, that he ſtood upright againſt the Wall, as if he had been alive. When they found he ſtood firm, they pulled up the Ropes, and left the Gentleman in that Poſture. They were ſcarce got down into their Chamber, when the Purveyor went into his, being juſt come from a Wedding-Feaſt with a Lanthorn in his Hand, He was mightily ſurprized when, by the Light of his Lanthorn, he deſcried a Man ſtanding upright in his Chimney; but being naturally a ſtout Man, and apprehending it was a Thief or a Robber, he took up a good luſty Cane, and making ſtrait up to the Hunch-back; Ay, ſays he, I thought it was Rats and the Mite that eat my Butter and Tallow; and ’tis you come down the Chimney to rob me, is it? I queſtion if ever you come back again upon this Errand. This ſaid, he falls foul upon the Man, and gives him a good many ſwinging Thwacks with his Cane. Upon which the Corps fell down, running its Noſe upon the Ground; and the Purveyor redoubled his Blows: But obſerving the Body not to move, he ſtood to conſider a little; and then, perceiving it was a dead Corps, Fear ſucceeded his Anger. Wretched Man that I am, ſaid he, what have I done! I have killed a Man dead; Alas, I have carried my Revenge to far. Good God unleſs thou pity me, my Life is gone. Curſed, Ten Thouſand times accurſed, be the Fat and the Oil that gave Occaſion to this my Commiſſion of ſuch a Criminal Action. In fine, he ſtood pale and thunder-ſtruck, he thought he ſaw the Officers already come to drag him to condign Puniſhment; and could not think what Reſolution to take.
Here the Dawn of the Morning interrupted Scheherazade, but next Night ſhe proceeded thus.
The hundred and Twenty Fifth Night.
Sir the Sultan of Caſgar’s Purveyor had never minded the little Gentleman’s Hunch when he was beating him; but as ſoon as he perceived it, he threw out a thouſand Imprecations againſt him. Ah you crooked Hunch-back, cried he, you crooked Son of a Bitch, would to God you had robbed me of all my Fat, and I had not found you here. If it had been ſo, I had not been ſo much perplexed as I now am, for the Love of you and your naſty Hunch, Oh! The Stars that twinkle in the Heavens, gave Light to none but me in this dangerous Juncture. As ſoon as he had utter’d theſe Words, he took the little crooked Corps upon his Shoulders, and carried him out of Doors to the End of the Street, where he ſet him upright, reſting againſt a Shop, and ſo trudged home again without looking behind him.
A few Minutes before the Break of Day, a Chriſtian Merchant, who was very rich, and furniſhed the Sultan’s Palace with moſt Things it wanted; this Merchant, I ſay having ſat up all Night debauching, ſtep’d then out of his Houſe to go to bathe. Though he was drunk, he was ſenſible that the Night was far ſpent, and that the People would quickly be called to the Morning Prayers, that begin at the break of Day; therefore quicken’d his Pace to get in time at the Bath, for fear a Turk, meeting him in his way to the Moſque, ſhould carry him to Priſon for a Drun-kard. However, as he came to the end of the Street, he ſtopped upon ſome neceſſary Occaſion, and leaned againſt the Shop where the Sultan’s Purveyor had put the Hench- back’d Corps; and the Corps being joſtled, tumbled upon the Merchant’s Back. The Merchant, thinking ’twas a Robber that came to attack him, knock’d him down with a fwinging Box on the Ear, and after redoubling his Blows, cried out Thieves.
The Outcry alarm’d the Watch, who came up immediately, and finding a Chriſtian beating a Turk (for Crump-back was of our Religion) What Reaſon have you, ſaid he, to abuſe a Musselman after this Rate? He would have robbed me, replied the Merchant, and jumped upon my back with intent to take me by the Throat. If he did, ſaid the Watch, you have revenged your ſelf ſufficiently, come get off of him. At the ſame time he ſtretched out his Hand to help little Crump-back up, but obſerving he was dead; Ah, Hey-day! ſaid he, is it thus that a Chriftian dare: to aſſaſſinate a Muſſelman? So he laid hold of the Chriſtian, and carried him to the Sheriffs Houſe, where he was kept till the Judge was ſtirring and ready to examine him. In the mean time the Chriſtian Merchant grew ſober, and the more he reflected upon his Adventure, the leſs could he conceive how ſuch ſingle Fiſty-Cuff could kill the Man.
The Judge having hard the Report of the Watch, and viewed the Corps which they had taken care to bring to his Houſe, interrogated the Chriſtian Merchant upon it, and he could not deny the Crime, tho’ he had not committed it. But the Judge conſidering that little Crump-back belonged to the Sultan, for he was one of his Buffoons, would not put the Chriſtian to Death, till he knew the Sultan’s Pleaſure. For this End he went to the Palace, and acqainted the Sultan with what had happen’d; and received from the Sultan this Anſwer, I have no Mercy to ſhew to a Chriſtian that kills a Muſfelman, Go do your Office. Upon this the Judge ordered a Gibbet to be erected, and ſent Criers all over the City to proclaim that they were about to hang a Chriſtian for killng a Muſſelman.
In fine, the Merchant was brought our of Goal to the Foot of the Gallows; and the Hangman having put the Rope about his Neck, was going to give him a Swing, when the Sultan’s Purveyor, ſhoving tho’ the Crowd, made up to the Gibbet, calling to the Hangman to ſtop, for that the Chriſtian had not committed the Murder, but himſelf had done it. Upon that the Sheriff, who attended the Execution, put Interrogatories to the Purveyor, who told him every Circumſtance of his killing the little Crump-back, and convey ing his Corps to the Place where the Chriſtian Merchant found him. You were about, added he, to put to Death an innocent Perſon; for how can he be guilty of the Death of a Man that was dead before he came at him? My Burthen is ſufficient in having killed a Turk, without loading my Conſcience with the additional Charge of the Death of a Chriſtian that is not guilty.
Scheherazade perceiving the Peep of Day, ſtop’d here, and the next Night reſumed her Story as follows.
The Hundred and twenty Sixth Night.
SIR, ſaid ſhe, the Sultan of Caſgar’s Purveyor having publickly charged himſelf with the Death of the little Hunch-back’d Man, the Sheriff could not avoid doing Juſtice to the Merchant. Let the Chriſtian go, ſaid he, and hang this Man in his Room, fince it appears by his own Conteſſion that he’s guilty. Thereupon the Hangman releas’d the Merchant, and clapped the Rope round the Puveyor’s Neck; but juſt when he was going to pull him up, he heard the Voice of the Jewiſh Doctor, earneſtly intreating him to ſuſpend the Execution, and make room for him to come and throw himſeſf at the Gallows Foot.
When he appeared before the Judge, My Lord, ſaid he, This Muſſelman you are a going to hang is not guilty. All the Guilt lies at my Door. Laſt Night, a Man and a Woman, unknown to me, came to my Door with a ſick Man they had brought long; and they knocking at the Door, my Maid went and opened it without a Light, and received from them a Piece of Money, with a Commiſſion to come and deſire me, in their Name, to ſtep down and look: upon the ſick Perſon. While ſhe was delivering her Meſſage to me, they conveyed the ſick Perſon to the Stair-head, and then diſappeared. I went down without ſtaying till my Servant lighted a Candle, and in the dark happened to ſtumble upon the ſick Perſon and kick d him down Stairs. In fine, I ſaw he was dead, and that it was the Crooked Muſſelman, whoſe Death you are now about to avenge. So my Wife and I took the Corps, and after conveying it up to the Leads of our Houſe, ſhov’d it to the Roof of the Purveyor, our next Neighbour, his Houſe, and let it down the Chimney into his Chamber, The Purveyor, finding it in his Houſe, took the little Man for a Thief, and after beating him, concluded he had killed him; but that it was not ſo, you’ll be convinced by this my Depoſition; ſo that I am the only Author of the Murder, and, tho’ it was committed undeſignedly, I have refolved to expiate my Crime, by keeping clear of the Charge of the Death of two Muſlelmen, and hindring you to execute the Sultans Purveyor, whoſe Innocence I have now revealed. So pray diſmiſs him, and put me in his Place, for I alone am the Cauſe of the Death of the little Man.
The Sultaneſs deſcrying Day, diſcontinued her Story till the next Night, that ſhe proceeded in the following manner.
The Hundred and twenty Seventh Night.
SIR, ſaid ſhe, the chief Juſtice being perſuaded that the Jewiſh Doctor was the Murderer, gave Orders to the Executioner to ſeize him, and releaſe the Purveyor. Accordingly the Doctor was juſt a going to be hung up, when the Taylor-appeared, crying to the Executioner to hold his Hand, and make room for him, that he might come and make his Confeſſionto the Lord Juſtice. Room being made, “My. Lord (ſaid he to the Judge) you have narrowly eſcaped taking away the Lives of the three innocent Perſons; but if you’ll have the Patience to hear me, I’ll diſcover to you the real Murderer of the Crook-back’d Man. If his Death is to be expiated by another, that muſt be mine. Yeſterday, towards the Evening, as I was at Work in my Shop, and had a mind to be merry, the little- Hunch-back came to my Door half drunk, and ſat down before it. He ſung a little, and fo invited him to paſs the Evening at my Houſe, Accordingly he accepted of the Invitation, and went in with me. We ſat down to Supper, and I gave him a Plate of Fiſh; but in eating a Bone ſtuck in his Throat, and tho’ my Wife and I did our utmoſt to relieve him, he died in a few Minutes. His Death afflicted us extreamly, and for fear of being charged with it, we carried the Corps to the Jewiſh Doctor’s Houſe, and knocked at the Door, the Maid coming down and opening the Door, I deſired her to go up again forthwith, and ask her Maſter to come down and give his Advice to a ſick Perſon that we had brought along with us; and withal to incourage him, I charged her to give him a Piece of Money which I had put into her Hand. When ſhe was gone up again, I carried the Hunch-back up Stairs, and laid him upon the uppermoſt Step; and then my Wife and I made the beſt of our Way Home. The Door coming down, made the Corps roll down Stairs, and there upon he took himſelf to be the Author of his Death. Now this being the Caſe (continued he) releaſe the Doctor, and let me die in his Room.”
The chief Juſtice, and all the Spectators, could not ſufficiently admire the ſtrange Emergencies that enſued upon the Death of the little crooked Gentleman. Let the Jewiſh Doctor go, ſaid the Judge, and hang up the Taylor, ſince he confeſſes the Crime: ’Tis certain this Hiſtory is very uncommon, and ought to be recorded in Letters of Gold. The Executioner having diſmiſs’d the Doctor, made every thing ready to tye up the Taylor,But, Sir, ſaid the Sultaneſs, I ſee Day appears, and fo I adjourn the Story till to Morrow. The Sultan agreed to her Propoſal, and ſo roſe and went about his Buſineſs,
The Hundred and twenty Eighth Nights.
THE Sultaneſs, waked by her Siſter, reſumed her Story as follows. While the Executioner, Sir, was making ready to hang up the Taylor, the Sultan of Caſgar, wanting the Company of the crooked Jeſter, ask’d’ where he was; and one of the Officers told him what follows. “The Hunch-back, Sir, whom you enquire after, got drunk laſt Night, and contrary to his Cuſtom, ſlipped out of the Palace, and went a ſauntering in the City and this Morning he was found dead. A Man was brought before the chief Juſtice, and charged with the Murder of him; but when he was going to be hang’d up, came a Man, and after him another who took the Charge upon themſelves, and cleared one another.” The Examination has continued a long while, and the Judge is now examining a third Man that gives himſelf out for the real Author of the Murderer.
Upon this Intelligence the Sultan of Caſgar ſent a Huſſar to the Place of Execution. Go, ſaid he to his Meſſenger, make all the haſte you can, and bring the arraigned Perſons before me immediately; and withal bring the Corps of poor Crump-back, that I may ſee him once more. Accordingly the Huſſar went, and happened to arrive at the Place of Execution at the ſame Time that the Executioner was going to tie up the Taylor. So he cried aloud to the Executioner to ſuſpend the Execution. The Hangman knowing the Huſſar, did not dare to proceed, but untied the Taylor; and then the Huſſar acquainted the Judge with the Sultan’s Pleaſure. So the Judge obeyed, and went ſtraight to the Palace, accompanied by the Taylor, the Jewiſh Doctor, and the Chriſtian Merchant; and Four of his Men carry the Hunch Corps along with him.
When they appeared before the Sultan, the Judge threw himſelf at the Prince’s Feet; and after recovering himſelf, gave him a faithful Relation of what he knew of the Story of the Crump-back’d Man. The Sultan found the Story ſo uncommon, that he ordered his private Hiſtorians to write it with it’s Circumſtances. Then addreſſing himſelf to all the Audience; Did you ever hear (ſaid he) ſuch a ſurprizivg Story as this, that has happened upon the Account of my little crooked Buffoon? Then the Chriſtian Merchant, after falling down, and ſaluting the Earth with his Fore-head, ſpoke in the following manner. Moſt Puiſſant Monarch (ſaid he) I know a Story yet more aſtonifhing than that you have now ſpoke of; if your Majeſty will give me leave, I’ll tell it you. The Circumſtances are ſuch that no Body can hear ’em without being mov’d. Well, (ſaid the Sultan). I give you leave; and ſo the Merchant went on as follows.
- ↑ Here the Arabian Author plays upon the Jews, this Aſs is that which, as the Mahometans believe, Eſdras rid upon when he came from the Babylonian Captivity in Jeruſalem.