Base-Ball Ballads/The Bush Leaguer's Dream

by Grantland Rice

 

THE BUSH LEAGUER'S DREAM.
(From our "Songs of the Spring Recruit.")

I.

The young recruit stood dreaming where the sultry sun was beaming,
 With the perspiration streaming down his neck;
He had missed four easy chances, which aroused some angry glances,
 And he saw his big league fancies were a wreck;
His work had been erratic, and he heard one mad fanatic
 Yell in tones far from ecstatic: "Chase that cheese!"
Whereupon he drew a vision that was all to the Elysian,
 And he spoke with much decision words like these:

Chorus.

"If I could run the bases like Bill Bryan,
 If I only had Ted Roosevelt's batting eye,
If I had the reach of Thomas Fortune Ryan,
 I'd never let another chance get by;
If I only was as cool as Charley Fairbanks;
 Or had control like Harriman has got,
I'd be the diamond daisy, and I'd set the bleachers crazy,
 For I'd be the greatest player of the lot."

II.

There had been a dearth of scoring, and the anxious Bugs were roaring
 In the bleachers and imploring for a hit,
Until finally one fellow plucked a triple, ripe and mellow,
 And the way those fans did bellow in a fit!
Just one little tap would cinch it, just one timely little pinch hit,
 And the contest would be safely on the shelf;
But the bush league phenom madly swung in vain at three, then sadly
 Walked away and murmured softly to himself:

Chorus.

"If I only had a batting eye like Teddy,
 If I had the speed of John D. ducking fines,
I'd have a big league job and hold it steady,
 For I'd make both Cobb and Wagner look like shines;
If I could only 'steal' (in running bases)
 Like all these 'malefactors of great wealth',
I'd be the diamond daisy, and I'd set the bleachers crazy,
 And I wouldn't be here playing for my health."