Base-Ball Ballads/The Bushers
THE BUSHERS.
(A big advance order is now in for Christy Matthewson's [sic] forthcoming volume on baseball; John L. Sullivan is at work upon a romance of the ring, of which he is the hero; Battling Nelson has just closed up a comfortable wad upon his edition of "The Life and Battles of Matthew Battling Nelson.")
What league did Shakespeare ever lead? That busher Byron had the nerveTo peddle out poetic creed, Who never batted at a curve.I'll bet this Dante was a bluff, And minor leaguer on the side;For while he wrote a bale of stuff, His name is not in Spaulding's [sic] guide.
What belt did Homer ever win? Fine chance that dub would have to-dayTo cash in on the easy tin Who never put his man away;And Milton had the nerve to try To make a living out of verse,Who never closed a rival's eye Or split the big end of a purse.
No wonder in the days of yore Those ancient artists had no chanceTo chew a steak—or that they wore Big, healthy patches on their pants;In place of farming out a crop Of rhyme and meter without flaw,They should have learned to throw a drop Or slam a wallop to the jaw.