Creole Sketches/Complaint of the Creole Boarding-House-Keeper
COMPLAINT OF CREOLE BOARDING-HOUSE-KEEPER[1]
O La Canaille! la canaille! All time after dis I will make dem to pay in advance.
De first dat I have, say he vas a capitaine. I know not if he vas a capitaine; but he vas a misérable. After he have eat and sleep here six week and not pay me, I tell him, "Monsieur, I must money have."
He say: "Madame, you take me for tief?"
I say: "Monsieur, it is right dat you pay; I have wait long time assez."
He den say: "I learn you how to speak me in a manner so much insolent. Now, I not pay you till when I be ready, and I not hurry myself."
"Go out from my house!" I say.
"I go out, madame, from your dirty house when it me please"—dat how he speak me. And I could not force him to part till when I had take all de furniture out from his room. He owe me not more as seventy dollaire!
. . . After, I have one Frenchman, I tink him well elevated—le coco. He nail his valise on de floor for make me tink heavy; and he dispar one night—owing me forty-nine dollaire! I find noting in his valise only one syringe.
. . . After, I have two married. Dey pay me enough well, until when de woman run away wit some oder man. Her husban' stay till when he owe me eighty dollaire. After, he go too; and write me letter as dis:
"Madame, I cheat you of eighty dollaire; and I not wish only I could cheat you of eighty thousand dollaire. It was for cause of you dat my wife have run away."
After, I find out she was not his wife.
. . . Den I have a sick man. He fall on de banquette in face of my house, and I take him in to nurse. When dat he get well he tell me he vas one professor of langedge. He eat and sleep here four; mont; and first he pay a little. He complain much from noise. He vas what you call nerveux—so like I was oblige for to make my daughter walk witout shoes in naked foots; and we to speak in dumb and deaf langedge by fear of make him trouble. He smoke in de bed and burn de cover; also he break de pot and de cradle-chair, and after, de window, an' de armoire an' de—vat you call de pendule;—he let fall ink on de carpet, and he spit tobacc' on de wall, and he vomit in de bed. But I noting say, as he not 'ave baggage;—ainsi, wen he owe me forty dollaire I not want turn him out for dat I get my money more late. When at de end I tell him to go out, he tell me he have receive a checque and pay me on Monday. But I nevaire see him after. He owe me one hundred and sixty-seven dollaire—and seventy cent vat I lend him for medicine to buy.
. . . After, I have one woman, species of camel (espèce de chameau) and one doctor, her husband (tout ce qu'il y avait d'abominable). She pretend to be and you c'all dat?—sage femme; and he is not so much doctor as my cat; but for all dey doctor me for two hundred and fifty dollaire, and I not ever obtain of it not one sou.
. . . After, I have tree familee—all vat vas of rough and ugly; for one mont I not receive of rent. So I serve to dem notice of quit. But dey tell me dey not me pay nevaire, and not quit until when I make law-suit. Eh bien, de rent of de house vas not more as fifty dollaire, and de law cost me perhaps one affair of more like one hundred dollaire. Ainsi, I quit de house, an' leave dem all dere to do like dey would please. But before dat I could leave, dey steal me two buckets, and one stove, and one broom, and one clock, and one iron, and one coffee-mill, and one hen, and one leetle cat vat I much vas fond of, and one plate, and some linen of womans vat to me not belong.
- ↑ Item, September 27, 1879.