Duty and Inclination/Chapter 38
CHAPTER XVII.
"His words are bonds, his oaths are oracles,
....his thoughts immaculate;
His tears pure messengers sent from his heart;
His heart as far from fraud as heav'n from earth.'
Shakspeare.
Time, the sovereign softener of human sorrow, had, in its flight, in some degree freed and disengaged Douglas from that intolerable load of affliction and despondency he had formerly endured; yet with a heart desolated, blighted of its cherished hopes and fairest prospects, how, with a memory faithful to an object he could never behold again, every sense throbbing with the painful though pleasing retrospection of departed bliss, and every tie that might have rendered life attractive, and strewed his path with flowers—how could he resolve to link his future destiny to another? None, in all the multitude of his acquaintance, had he ever dared to compare with Rosilia, in mind and person; how infinitely short did they fall of the excellence she possessed! Never, he felt assured, could he love another. She was doubtless lost to him for ever!
A year had already elapsed since he had parted from her; and how many more might in the same manner revolve? No term could be affixed to his residence abroad, destined as was his regiment for foreign service. Much as he had cherished his love for Rosilia—dreading nothing so much as that it should ever sink into apathy or indifference; yet to keep alive the hope of ever henceforward becoming a successful suitor, appeared to him as a delusive dream. He had not the remotest supposition of the sequestered life she led; and naturally concluding she would continue to move in those circles in which he had met her, he could not doubt but that another would rival him in her estimation, and obtain the hand he had vainly sought for.
Notwithstanding the justness of such reflections, to renounce voluntarily the possibility of ever being united to Rosilia caused Douglas many a trying moment, in weighing with himself the late conversation he had held with Mrs. Melbourne, and whether he could bring himself, on that account, to enter into an engagement with Miss Airey.
The regrets of his friends, he felt well persuaded, would follow his thus disposing of himself; besides which, he had nothing but sentiments of friendship and esteem to offer, the heart expanding with the warmth and fervour of a devoted love being no longer in his power to bestow; yet, far from being a loser. Miss Airey, he was convinced, would be infinitely a gainer; his mind was now mellowed into more reflective ideas of domestic life, such as rendered him more adapted to contribute to its happiness than he possibly could have been, had he remained perfectly unaffected with such considerations.
Since his knowledge of Rosilia, he had been insensibly led to attach to the matrimonial union a tie much stronger than he had before formed a conception of; and would it be to disparage her memory, to share his days with another? Was he, on that account, for ever to renounce the consolations of a companion in his sojourn here below? Whence had arisen his solace hitherto? from nought but the satisfaction derived from a well-spent life, social habits, literary pursuits, and military duties, together with the desire of enlarging his general sphere of utility, and of crowding into his short span of existence as many acts of philanthropy as were in his power.
Such were the motives which could alone influence him to pay his addresses to Miss Airey, under the delicate circumstances in which he found himself placed, arising from what had been revealed to him by Mrs. Melbourne, and his own interference respecting Captain Sutton.
After a period of due deliberation given to the subject, Douglas made his proposals to Miss Airey, in the presence of Colonel Melbourne and his lady, by whom they were accepted with every mark of the most perfect approbation. The happy girl had, in a moment the most auspicious and unexpected, met with the full accomplishment of her secret wishes. He who had appeared rather assiduously to shun her, whose good opinion she had valued, notwithstanding his seeming indifference to her, had now declared himself, and given proofs of a regard the most unequivocal.
Colonel Melbourne, far from expecting such overtures in favour of his wife's protégée from one of Douglas's high consideration and advantages of birth, as well as personal and mental endowments, was greatly surprised that one so distinguished should honourably and generously come forward as a suitor to the young Ellina; for which reason, drawing Douglas apart, he thought it incumbent to have some farther discussion with him upon the subject.
"My dear Douglas," said he, "having the honour to command the regiment of which you are second major, I hope you will not take amiss my friendly advice to you. Sincerely as I wish well to Miss Airey, and sincerely happy as I shall be, as well as Mrs. Melbourne, to see her advantageously settled in life, it might appear that I acted a very self-interested part, if I gave my immediate sanction, or proceeded to make advances in this affair, without at the same time remarking, that I fear you have been led to act with some precipitation; the benefits derived from such a match being entirely on the lady's side, and none whatever upon your own. Think also, on the score of fortune: few, in such expectations, may boast higher than yourself. That they are distant, and even more precarious, you have ever been the first to admit: supposing, therefore, the regiment to be shortly disbanded, in case of peace, and put upon half-pay,—a large family the result of your union;—my dear Douglas, weigh again the subject, for really it appears to me, by the sudden manner of your address, that you have been too hasty in your decision."
"You mistake. Colonel. The subject has been duly considered by me. I am but doing justice to the merits of Miss Airey; and what Captain Sutton ought long since to have done, had he the spirit of true gallantry, or any idea of what was due to the honour and character of the lady he has courted with such unremitting attention. If I have anticipated his views in these my proposals; if what I have done should call him to reflection; should he, in consulting his affections, wish to regain his prize, and assert over mine his prior claims;—in such a case only, on no other grounds could I bring myself to retract: but if Captain Sutton still maintains the character of the man who flatters merely, and if Miss Airey can honour me with her regard, I shall hope to prove by my efforts towards promoting her happiness, that her confidence has not been misplaced."
"It is nobly and magnanimously spoken," replied the Colonel, "and worthy of Major Douglas; steady to the resolve you have taken, and sentiments you have professed, I can have nothing more to advance, than most heartily to concur with such laudable views."
In withdrawing from this conference with his Colonel, Douglas felt truly, that in many respects his union with Miss Airey would be attended with a sacrifice to his feelings; but in the present state of his mind, subjugated and brought under his control, what was he not capable of performing? A conquest so easily made he would formerly have spurned. Now, on the contrary, it seemed as if he had been engaged by Providence to the match; that it was in the true order of every just and equitable notion of right that he should become the husband of Miss Airey; possessing her affections, it was but due to her, as the only return he had it in his power to make was that of becoming her future protector: and, with regard to her being of inferior rank to himself, it was the husband who ennobled the wife, and not the wife her husband; he did not sink himself to her level, but he raised her to his.
Colonel Melbourne was not the only one whose advice might have had some influence in dissuading Douglas from the engagement he had formed with Miss Airey. He had acquired a greater intimacy with the Governor-General than with any of the officers; and having received a special invitation to wait upon his Lordship, Douglas accordingly repaired to his residence. "I have been desirous, my dear Major," said the Earl, in his usual mild and courteous manner, "to seize a short interval from business, to converse with you upon a topic wholly personal to yourself; one in which I am not in the least concerned, otherwise than that I feel myself deeply interested in your welfare. Perhaps it might not be unnecessary to make some little preface, by saying that if we differ in what I am going to suggest, it may arise from our not standing upon equal grounds,—you no doubt seeing the matter in a light heightened by the brilliant colouring of a vivid fancy; I, on the contrary, a cold and impartial observer, viewing it in its simple and unadorned dress. It is a delicate subject to touch upon, your projected marriage with Miss Airey, and one upon which I should have remained silent, was it that which I do not consider it to be, une affaire de cœur."
Douglas here attempted to reply, but was prevented by his Lordship.
"Colonel Melbourne," continued he, "has explained to me the circumstances in a point of view reflecting upon you the highest credit. This, as all other transactions of Major Douglas, bears upon it the stamp of true nobility, and of the most generous sentiment; yet, in a point so important as marriage, might not something be allowed to the considerations of self, and that without any sacrifice of, or deviation from, the most elevated principles? Without desiring to say aught that might reflect upon the lady in question, I must confess that I felt considerably vexed and disappointed, when I heard that my friend Major Douglas was about forming so unequal a union. For the moment I judged unjustly of your Colonel's lady, of whom Miss Airey is the protégée, and thought that through some skill on her part the match was formed. Report had long since given her to Captain Sutton, and I wish with all my heart, for your sake, report had told the truth. Excuse me, dear Douglas, if I say too much; my personal regard for you extorts it; and I have only to hope it is not yet too late for you to give some reflection to my counsel."
Having, whilst the Earl spoke, fixed upon him a serious yet ingenuous look, Douglas marked the due force of every expression he had uttered; who, from his high station and rank, the eminent goodness of his character, and the warm and confiding frankness of his aspect, certainly demanded the most serious and undivided attention.
Availing himself of the pause which followed, the thoughts of Douglas took a rapid survey of the situation in which he found himself placed. The marriage he held in view would doubtless tend much to depress his worldly interests; even the motives which had led him to form it, partly unknown, on which, from a point of honour, he felt bound to secrecy—how few there were who could rightly appreciate them! Living in a world where every event that springs from a cause differing from those common ones whence arise the routine of human action, is censured as romance or eccentricity,—the appellation of enthusiast might be given to him, in seeking, as might be supposed, to soar and exalt himself above the rest of humanity; but surely not, he hoped, by his Lordship, or others whose esteem alone was of real value to him: and wherefore desire the commendations of the multitude?
His life was for the future to be spent in a manner wholly different from the past; he must therefore renounce the general applause of the world, and live only for the silent approval of his own conscience. His Lordship might indeed seek to raise his vanity by allusions to the disproportioned marriage he was about forming; but, with no heart to bestow on any of the sex, his affections entombed, how could he come forward, and feel himself entitled to make proposals to any, under other circumstances than those which connected him with Miss Airey? Self-love had received in Douglas one of its greatest and most mortifying wounds; and it was under a sense of the deserved humiliation inflicted upon him, that he now, reflected. In opposition to the indulgences of sense he had given into, he possessed a mind formed to make sacrifices; and it was the effect of such meditations, as also subsequent observations on the conduct of Miss Airey, which, having so strongly disposed him to address her, equally operated, notwithstanding all the persuasions of his Lordship, against a change of resolution.
"My dear and highly respected Lord," said he, "sensibly grateful as I am for the advice you have thought proper to give me, be assured I feel the deepest regret from the total impracticability of my following it. I have pledged my irrevocable faith to Miss Airey, to become the future partner and protector of her youth; circumstances have also occurred, of which my honour forbids the mention, but which are convincing to me that Providence has assigned to me the part I am acting."
His Lordship essayed to speak; he would still further have dissuaded Douglas, but admiration so mingled with his sentiments, as to control for awhile his speech; after which, before he closed the subject, he hinted merely at the probable pecuniary embarrassments such a marriage might involve.
"I retain a fervent hope," replied Douglas, "that Heaven will avert such evils, and crown with blessing a union formed upon the most just and honourable views."
As soon as the original bent of Douglas's great mind developed itself, it seemed to him as if no self-denial or subjugation of his inclinations was beyond his ability to perform.
Feeling himself entirely defeated, his Lordship remained silent; nevertheless, he could not forbear regretting that Douglas was on the point of making so great a sacrifice of himself;—one who, he conceived, might justly have aspired to an alliance even amongst the daughters of peers;—himself a son of one of those Scottish noblemen tracing their genealogies even to the famed chieftains of former times;—and one, also, whose destiny it might become to hold the title, from the improbability of issue descending to supersede him, from his elder brother. To continue his interference, however, his Lordship deemed unnecessary; he therefore desisted from further observation than that of sincerely wishing him that happiness of which his merits rendered him so highly deserving.
With the warmest expressions Douglas renewed his thanks, adding, with a smile on which sat the consciousness of having acted according to duty: "A man, my dear Lord, never takes advice in such affairs, nor ever thinks of asking it, until he has made up his mind to follow nothing but the bent of his own will. For my own part, I have proved one of those obstinate beings; others besides yourself have sought to persuade me to relinquish my engagements to Miss Airey, and was it in the power of mortal to succeed in so doing, it would have been your Lordship; that I have seemed incorrigible in pursuing my point, forgive me," added he, at the same time rising and approaching an open window, his whole deportment assuming that grandeur which a sense of rectitude alone can fully give, whilst with his hand extended, he pointed to where the river Hooghly flowed calmly and steadily along: "Sooner than turn my plighted faith from Miss Airey, might those waters be diverted from pursuing their perpetual course, or from joining their recipient stream the Ganges."
"My dear Douglas," ejaculated the Earl, advancing towards him and taking his hand affectionately, "be assured you have convinced me that you cannot act otherwise than you are doing; and far be it from me to seek to depreciate those high conceptions of honour you entertain. May you prosper in them!—may happiness attend you! And if it should ever be in my power to be serviceable to you, command me."
Douglas bowed, expressive of his sense of gratitude, and departed.
A few weeks after the happy Ellina became his wife.