Fables for the Fair/Fable 12
THE WOMAN WHO TOOK ADVICE
THE WOMAN WHO TOOK ADVICE
THERE was once a Woman who Had the Opportunity of Marrying Either of Two Brothers she Preferred. Since they had Both of them Good Points she decided to Consult their Sister as to Which in her Opinion would Make the Best Husband. "I Think," she said, "that I shall Take John. He is So Good."
"Yes," said the Sister; "but He Sups his Soup and Sugars his Lettuce. To say nothing of Buttering his Bread in Slabs. We have Never been Able to Teach him Better."
"But he Reads Browning so Beautifully!" cried the Woman.
"You will Hear him Eat Soup Oftener than you will Hear him Read Browning," said the Sister.
"I am Sure that he would Never Love any Other Woman but Me so Long as he Lived," said the Woman.
"But he has an Inveterate Habit of Reading Aloud all the Jokes in all the Funny columns of all the Papers, No Matter what You are Reading," replied the Sister. "You would Find that very Trying, as you are Fond of Reading to Yourself."
"I am Sure he would Give his Life for Me!" cried the Woman.
"If you will Pause and Consider," replied the Sister, "you will Realize that the Probabilities of his being Called upon to Do That are very Few indeed. Whereas the fact that he is very Careless about Brushing his Clothes will be Daily Apparent to you."
"Dear Me!" said the Woman. "And are Henry's Manners so Perfect?"
"They are All a Woman could Desire," replied the Sister. "He will Escort you Anywhere Evenings and he Always Admires your Singing."
"But are you Sure that Down in the Bottom of his Heart he is a Perfectly Good Man?" asked the Woman.
"Not at all," replied the Sister. "I have No Means of Seeing the Bottom of his Heart. But he Always Opens the Door for me and Hopes I Slept Well."
"How do you Know," said the Woman, "that in some Tremendous Spiritual Crisis he would not Fail Me?"
"I Don't," the Sister replied. "We have Never had Any of Those in the Family. I should Not Marry with a View to having Them, I Think. But you are Certain to have Soup."
"Very well," said the Woman, "if that is your Advice, I will take Henry."
Which she Did and Lived Happily ever Afterward.
This teaches us to Take Care of the Manners, and the Morals will Take Care of Themselves.