Fables for the Fair/Fable 25
THE WOMAN WHO ADAPTED HERSELF
THE WOMAN WHO ADAPTED HERSELF.
THERE was once a Woman who was Asked to Sing at a Summer Entertainment for the Benefit of a Country Library which None of the Natives Wanted. Having heard that her Rival in the Vocal Arena was also going to Sing she Laid a Plan to Annihilate her.
"The Foolish Thing will be Sure to Sing Something entirely Over their Heads," she reasoned, "and Make them feel Awkward by displaying her most Gorgeous Toilette—which will be Very Unkind of her, to be sure. I will Teach her a Thing or Two."
On the Night of the Concert the Country People had Assembled from Far and Near to See the Swell ladies and Gentlemen.
The Woman who was Asked to Sing appeared in a Simple White Muslin with a Wild Rose in her Hair. An Old Man from the Village accompanied her on his Violin, as she sang "Annie Laurie." For an Encore she sang "Home, Sweet Home," so Touchingly that the Old Man Wept and Played very Flat. He Lived in the Poor House.
But the other Country People were both Surprised and Disgusted. "Goodness Alive!" said they, "is that All? Our Jenny Knows that Piece. And Malvina's Graduation Dress had More Ruffles than That. Uncle Hezekiah looks like a Fool."
Nor were the City People better Pleased. "She certainly Has a Great deal of Nerve," said they. "One would Think she was Patti, or Melba at the Least," and they Refused to Applaud.
The Rival wore Silver Brocade with Turquoise Chiffon. She had an Aigrette in her Hair and carried a Bouquet of Orchids. Her first Song was Elsa's Dream from "Lohengrin," in German, and was Wildly Applauded, everyone Wishing to Show that he Understood it Perfectly. As an Encore she sang a French Selection. Being Urged to sing a Third time, she gave a Spanish Toreador Song, which was Deeply Appreciated.
The Country Paper the Next Day Described her Costume as Extremely Tasteful and Remarked that it was a Real Pleasure to hear Old Favorites Rendered with Such Spirit.
This teaches us that When in Rome we should Do as the Romans Don't.