Fables for the Frivolous/The Patrician Peacocks and the Overweening Jay
THE PATRICIAN PEACOCKS
AND
THE OVERWEENING JAY
THE PATRICIAN PEACOCKS
AND
THE OVERWEENING JAY
Once a flock of stately peacocks Promenaded on a green, There were twenty-two or three cocks, Each as proud as seventeen, And a glance, however hasty, Showed their plumage to be tasty; Wheresoever one was placed, he Was a credit to the scene.
Now their owner had a daughter Who, when people came to call, Used to say, "You'd reelly oughter See them peacocks on the mall." Now this wasn't to her credit, And her callers came to dread it,For the way the lady said it Wasn't recherché at all.
But a jay that overheard it From his perch upon a fir Didn't take in how absurd it Was to every one but her; When they answered, "You don't tell us!" And to see the birds seemed zealous He became extremely jealous, Wishing, too, to make a stir.
As the peacocks fed together He would join them at their lunch,Culling here and there a feather Till he'd gathered quite a bunch; Then this bird, of ways perfidious, Stuck them on him most fastidious Till he looked uncommon hideous, Like a Judy or a Punch.
But the peacocks, when they saw him, One and all began to haul,And to harry and to claw him Till the creature couldn't crawl;While their owner's vulgar daughter,When her startled callers sought her,And to see the struggle brought her, Only said, "They're on the maul."
It was really quite revolting When the tumult died away,One would think he had been moulting So dishevelled was the jay;He was more than merely slighted,He was more than disunited,He'd been simply dynamited In the fervor of the fray.
And the moral of the verses Is: That short men can't be tall.Nothing sillier or worse is Than a jay upon a mall, And the jay opiniativeWho, because he's imitative,Thinks he's highly decorative Is the biggest jay of all.