Fables of Æsop and Other Eminent Mythologists/Fable CXXXIV and CXXXV

by Roger L'Estrange

Fab. CXXXIV..

Apples and Horse-Turds.

UPon a very great Fall of Rain, the Current carry’d Away a Huge Heap of Apples, together with a Dunghill that lay in the Water-Course, They Floated a good while together like Brethren and Companions; and as they went thus Dancing down the Stream, the Horse-Turds would be every foot crying out still, Alack a day! How Wee Apples Swim!

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Fab. CXXXV.

A Peach, an Apple, and a Blackberry.

THere happen'd a Controversie once betwixt a Peach, and an Apple, which was the Fairer Fruit of the Two. They were so Loud in their Discourse, that a Blackberry from the next Hedg, Over-heard them. Come (says the Blackberry) We are All Friends, and pray let's have No Jangling among our selves.

The Moral of the Two Fables above.

Every Thing would be Thought Greater in the World then it is, and the Root of it is This, that it firsl thinks it self so.

REFLEXION.

'Tis a Vanity Common in the World, for Every Pretending Coxcomb to make himself One of the Party still with his Betters. They cry Wee to Every thing, and make themselves Necessary upon All Occasions, and to All Purposes, and People, when upon the Truth of the Matter, they are found to be good for Just Nothing at all.

[Wee] Apples cry the Horse Turds [Wee] the Kings Officers, crys the Fellow that carrys Guts to the Bears [Wee] crys the Scumm of the Nation to the Bench, to the Court, to the City, to the Church, to Parliaments, and Councels. There’s Nothing so Great, but the Little People cry [Wee] to’t still. [Wee'l] do This, and [Wee’l] do That, and [Wee'l] Undertake for This and T’other, This is in a Familiar Way, the Common Style of the Licentious Multitude, to the Scandal of all Honorable Commissions, and of Those that Manage them. And This Humour of [Weeing] holds as well in Matters of State, and of Understanding, as in the Pome of Honour and Quality. Twas [Wee] in the Persons of the Fish Wives and the Broom-Men [Wee] again in the Resolutions of Billingsgate, and Grub sireet, that took upon them to Prescribe in Matters of Religion and Government. [Wee] won't lose our Religion, was the Cry of Every Ignorant Atheist. [Wee'l] stand up for our Properties was the Beggers Song that liv'd upon the Alms Basket. And [Wee] for our Liberties, cry the Slaves of All Times and Interests; Nay and None so streight Lac'd as Common Cheats upon the Topique of Conscience. And so it was [Wee] again in the Name of the Multitade that did Every thing that was thought Worth the Doing. Now if the Dregs of the People will be Opening, and Crying [Wee] to Every thing; the Mobile has a Wide Mouth, and there’s No Stopping it. But the Arrogance of the Rabbles Assuming at This Rate, is Nothing to the Meanness of their Superiors when they shall descend to keep such Company; or to make use of such Tools or Engines. 'Tis not half so bad tor the Apples to cry [Wee] Horse-Turds, as it would be for Men of State, and Caball, to cry [Wee] Tinkers and Carr-Men. But This is a Supposition, not to Enter so much as into the Thought of any Man of Sense or Honour. This Fable will also bear as Edifying, and as Pertinent a Moral, in the Inversion, as it does the Other Way. Wee Rogues, on the One Hand, 1s Every jot as Emphatical, as Wee Princes, on the Other.