Fables of Æsop and Other Eminent Mythologists/The Life of Æsop/Chapter IX
Cap. IX.
Æsop brings hit Master a Guest That had no sort of Curiosity in him.
XANTHUS laid hold of the Present Occasion, and was willing enough to be furnished with a Staffe to beat a Dog. Well Sirrah, says he, since this Learned Gentleman is too Curious; go you your way's and find me out a Man that has no Curiosity at All, Or I'le Lace your Coate for ye. Æsop, the next day, Walked the whole Towne over on This Errand; and at Last, found out a Slovenly Lazy Fellow, Lolling at his Ease,as if he had Nothing to do, or to take care for; and so up to him he went in a Familiar Way, and Invited him to his Masters to Supper. The Clown made no Ceremony of promising, but fell Presently to asking what kind of Man his Master was? And what, says he, are we going just now? (for this Poor Devill look'd upon a Meales Meat Gratis, as a Blessing Dropt into his Mouth out of the Skies) Come (says Æsop) we are going this very Moment; and Wonderfully Glad he was to find by the Booby's Discourse, That he had met with a Man so fit for his Purpose. Away they went together, and so strait into the Parlour, where the Blockhead Throws Himselfe downe Dirty and Beastly as he was, Upon a Rich Couch. After a very little While, in comes Xanthus to Supper, and asks Æsop who That Man was? Why This is the Man, says Æsop, that you sent me for; that is to say a Man that has no Curiosity in him at All. Oh that's very well, says Xanthus, and then told his Wife in her eare, That if she would but be a Loving and Obedient Wife to him, and do as he bad her, he would now save her Longing, for, says he, I have been a Great while Seeking for an Occasion to pick a Quarrell with Æsop, and I have found it at last. After this Whisper, Xanthus takes a Turn in the Parlour, and calls aloud to his Wife. Heark ye Sweet Heart, says he, go fetch some Water, and Wash the Feet of my Guest here. Away she goes, brings a Bason to the side of the Couch, where the Clown was lay'd at his Length, and bad him put forth his Feet for her to Wash them. Xanthus Little thought he would have done it. But the Clown, after a Little Stumble within himself, that 'twas fitter for the Maid to do't, then the Mistress; Well says he, If it be the Custome of the Family, 'tis not for me to be against it: and so he stretch'd forth his Feet to the Washing.
So soon as ever the Company had taken off the Edge of their Stomachs; Xanthus calls for a Bumper, and puts it into the hands of the Clown, making No doubt but he would have Allowed his Host the Honor of being his Taster. The Fellow, without any Scruple, Whips up the Drink, and gives Xanthus the Pott again Empty, who was now the Second Time Disappointed upon the Matter of Curiosity, or No Curiosity At All. He had a Mind still to be upon Poor Æsop's bones, and made another Tryal of the Humour of his Guest. There was a particular Dish that the Clown fed very Heartily upon: Xanthus fell into a Rage against the Cook for the Ill-Dressing of it, and Threat'ned to have him brought and Lash'd in the very Parlour. The Bumpkin took no Notice of it at All, but without Speaking one Word on the Cooks Behalf; It was Nothing to him he thought, what other People did with their Servants.
They were come Now to their Cakes and Pyes, and the Clown Guttled Upon them without mercy. Xanthus Resolves then upon Another Tryal; Calls for his Pastry-Cook and tells him, Sirrah, says he, you spoile every thing that goes through your hands. There's neither Spice, nor any other Seasoning here. The Cook told him, That if they were either Over or Under-Bak'd, it was his Fault; But for the Spice and Seasoning, it was his Mistresses, for it was All put in that she Deliver'd. Nay Wife, says Xanthus, if it sticks there, By All. that's Sacred, I'le Treat you no better then if you were a Slave bought with my Mony. Wherefore Strip Immediately and Prepare for a Dog-Whip. Xanthus thought with himself; that If any thing in the World could move this Barbarous Brute, he would have put in a Word at Least to save a Woman of Honour from so Scandalous an Indignity, But says this Loggerhead to himself; There's an old saying; What have Wee to do to Quench other Peoples Fires? And I le e'en keep my selfe Clear of Other Peoples Matters; Only he took Xanthus by the Hand indeed, and told him if he would but Stay a Little, he'd go fetch his own Wife too, and so they might take the Lash by Turns. In one word, Xanthus milled his Aim at last; and though he was troubled at the Miscarriage, he could not but Laugh yet at the Simplicity of the Man, and Confess, that Æsop was in the Right, in bringing a Person to him that had no Curiosity at all.