Familiar Colloquies/The Imposture
THE IMPOSTURE.
Philip and Livinus.
Ph. I wish you health, Livinus. Li. I will be well, if that will please you ; but do you be upon your guard, for I design to catch you if you don't watch me very narrowly. Ph. An open enemy is not much to be feared. But come on, deceive me if you can. Li. I have deceived you already, and you have not perceived it; but take care of the second time. Ph. I believe I have to do with a master of leger- demain; I cannot find you have imposed upon me at all. Li. Well, then, be very attentive this time, except you have a mind to be de- ceived, as you have been twice already. Ph. I am prepared for you ; begin. Li. What you bid me do is done already. Ph. What is acted, or what is done ? I perceive nothing of deceit. Li. Well, though I have given you warning so many times already, however, mind this time. Ph. This is a new sort of conjuration. You tell me you have imposed upon me, and I perceive nothing of art in all this, although I watch very narrowly your eyes, your hands, and your tongue. But come, the other touch ; begin again.
Li. I have begun again and again, over and over so many times, and you cannot see the trap that is laid for you. Ph. Wherein do you lay a trap for me ? Li. This tongue, I say, of mine entraps you, and you neither perceive it with your ears nor see it with your eyes. However, now let your eyes and ears be both attentive. Ph. I can- not be more attentive if my life lay at stake ; but, however, try to trick me once more. Li. Why, I have tricked you again already, and you perceive nothing of the artifice. Ph. You make me mad : prithee, tell me, what kind of hocus-pocus is this? Li. Why, all this while I have been speaking to you in verse, and am at this time. Ph. I thought of nothing less than of that. Li. At first I answered you in two trimeter iambics, then in a trochaic tetrameter catalectic, after that in nothing but cretics, after that in a phaulecian hendecasy liable, then again in mere coriambics, then in plain anapsestes, then again in three sapphics, by and by in a sotadic, and last of all in a trochaic tetrameter. Ph. Good God ! I should have guessed a hundred things before I should have guessed that. If I live I will serve you the like trick. Li. Do, if you can. Ph. I have payed you in your own coin twice, and you did nob perceive the trick. Li. What, in this short time 1 ? Ph. I threatened you in an iambic tetrameter catalectic ; after that I added five cretics. Li. Why, then, I find it is according to the old proverb, Set a thief to catch a thief. Ph. Very true ; but I pray this for both of us, that neither of us may have a more injurious cheat put upon us.