Fanny Hill: Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure/Letter the Second/Part 9
My gentleman had now put on his cloaths and recompos'd himself, when giving me a kiss, and placing me by him, he sat himself down as gingerly as possible, with one side off the cushion, which was too sore for him to bear resting any part of his weight on.
Here he thank'd me for the extreme pleasure I had procured him, and seeing perhaps some marks in my countenance of terror, and apprehension of retaliation on my own skin, for what I had been the instrument of his suffering in his, he assur'd me, he was ready to give up to me any engagement I might deem myself under to stand him, as he had done me; but that if I proceeded in my consent to it, he would consider the difference of my sex, its greater delicacy, and incapacity to undergo pain. Rehearten'd at which, and piqu'd in honour, as I thought, not to flinch so near the trial, especially, as I well knew Mrs. Cole was an eye-witness, from her stand of espial, to the whole of our transactions, I was now less afraid of my skin, than of his not furnishing me with an opportunity of signalizing my resolution.
Consonant to this disposition was my answer, but my courage was still more in my head, than in my heart, and as cowards rush into the danger they fear, in order to be the sooner rid of the pain of that sensation, I was entirely pleas'd with his hastening matters into execution.
He had then little to do, but to unloose the strings of my petticoat, and lift them, together with my shift, navel-high, where he just tuck'd them up loosely girt, and might be slipt up higher at pleasure: then viewing me round with great seeming delight, he laid me at my length, on my face, upon the bench, and when I expected he would tie me, as I had done him, and held out my hands, not without fear, and a little trembling; he told me, he would by no means terrify me unnecessarily with such a confinement; for that though he meant to put my constancy to some trial, the standing it was to be completely voluntary on my side, and therefore I was to be at full liberty to get up whenever I found the pain too much for me:You cannot imagine how much I thought myself bound, by being thus allow'd to remain loose, and how much spirit this confidence in me, gave me, so that I was, even from my heart, careless how much my flesh might suffer in honour of it.
All my back parts naked half way up, were now fully at his mercy: and first, he stood at a convenient distance, delighting himself with a gloating survey of the attitude I lay in, and of all the secret stores I thus expos'd to him in fair display: then springing eagerly towards me, he cover'd all those naked parts with a fond confusion of kisses; and now taking hold of the rod, rather wanton'd with me, in gentle inflictions on those tender trembling masses of my flesh behind, than any way hurt them, till by degrees he began to tingle them with smarter lashes, so as to provoke a red colour into them, which I knew, as well by the flagrant glow I felt there, as by his telling me, they now emulated the native roses of my other cheeks: when he had then amus'd himself with admiring, and toying with them, he went on to strike harder, and more hard; so that I needed all my patience not to cry out, or complain at least: at last he twigg'd me so smartly as, to fetch blood in more than one lash: at sight of which, he flung down the rod, flew to me, kiss'd away the starting drops, and sucking the wounds, eas'd a good deal of my pain: but now raising me on my knees, and making me kneel with them straddling wide, that tender part of me naturally the province of pleasure, not of pain, came in for its share of suffering, for now, eying it wistfully, he directed the rod so that the sharp ends of the twigs lighted there, so sensibly, that I could not help winching, and writhing my limbs with smart; so that my contorsions of body must necessarily throw it into an infinite variety of postures, and points of view, fit to feast the luxury of the eye: but still I bore everything without crying out: when presently giving me another pause, he rush'd, as it were, on that part, whose lips, and round-about, had felt his cruelty, and by way of reparation, glews his own to them: then he open'd, shut, squeez'd them, pluck'd softly the over-growing moss, and all this in a style of wild passionate rapture, and enthusiasm, that express'd excess of pleasure, till betaking himself to the rod again, encourag'd by my passiveness, and infuriate with this strange taste of delight, he made my poor posteriours pay for the ungovernableness of it; for now shewing them no quarter, the traytor cut me so, that I wanted but very little of fainting away, when he gave over; and yet I did not utter one groan, or angry expostulation; but in my heart I resolv'd nothing so seriously, as never to expose myself again to the like severities.
You may guess then in what a curious pickle those flesh-cushions of mine were, all sore, raw, and in fine, terribly clawed off; but so far from feeling any pleasure in it, that the recent smart made me pout a little; and not with the greatest air of satisfaction, receive the compliments, and after-caresses of the author of my pain.
As soon as my cloaths were huddled on, in a little decency, a supper was brought in by the discreet Mrs. Cole herself, which might have piqued the sensuality of a cardinal, accompanied with a choice of the richest wines; all which she set before us, and went out again, without having by a word, or even by a smile, given us the least interruption, or confusion, in those instants of secrecy, that we were not yet ripe for the admission of a third to.
I sat down then, still scarce in charity with my butcher; for such I could not help considering him, and was moreover not a little piqued at the gay, satisfied air of his countenance, which I thought myself insulted by: but when the now necessary refreshment to me, of a glass of wine, and a little eating, (all the time observing a profound silence) had somewhat chear'd, and restor'd me to spirits; and as the smart began to go off, my good humour return'd accordingly, which alteration not escaping him, he said, and did every thing that could confirm me in, and indeed exalt, it.
But scarce was supper well over, before a change so incredible was wrought in me, such violent, yet pleasingly irksome sensations took possession of me, that I scarce knew how to contain myself: the smart of the lashes was now converted into such a prickly heat, such fiery tinglings, as made me sigh, squeeze my thighs together, shift and wriggle about my seat, with a furious restlessness; whilst these itching ardours thus excited in those parts on which the storm of discipline had principally fallen, detach'd legions of burning, subtile, stimulating spirits, to their opposite spot, and center of assemblage, where their titillation rag'd so furiously, that I was even stinging-mad with them: no wonder then, that in such a taking, and devour'd by flames that lick'd up all modesty and reserve, my eyes now charg'd brimful of the most intense desire, fired on my companion very intelligible signals of distress: my companion, I say, who grew in them every instant more amiable, and more necessary to my urgent wishes, and hopes of immediate ease.
Mr. Barvile, no stranger, by experience, to these situations, soon knew the pass I was brought to; soon perceiv'd my extreme disorder; in favour of which, removing the table out of the way, he began a prelude that flatter'd me with instant relief, which I was not however so near as I imagin'd: for as he was unbutton'd to me, and tried to provoke, and rouse to action his unactive, torpid machine, he blushingly own'd, that no good was to be expected from it, unless I took in hand to re-excite it's languid, loitering powers, by just refreshing the smart of the yet recent, blood-raw cuts, seeing it could, no more than a boy's top, keep up without lashing: sensible then, that I should work as much for my own profit as his, I hurried my compliance with his desire, and abridging the ceremonial, whilst he lean'd his head against the back of a chair, I had scarce gently made him feel the lash, before I saw the object of my wishes give signs of life, and presently, as it were with a magic touch, it started up into a noble size, and distinction indeed! hastening then to give me the benefit of it, he threw me down on the bench; but such was the refresh'd soreness of those parts behind, on my leaning so hard on them as became me to compass the admission of that stupendous head of his machine, that I could not possibly bear it: I got up then, and tried, by leaning forwards, and turning the crupper on my assailant, to let him in at the back-avenue; but here it was likewise impossible to stand his bearing so fiercely against me in his agitations, and endeavours to enter that way, whilst his belly batter'd directly against the recent sore: what should we do now? both intolerably heated! both all in one fury! but pleasure is ever inventive for its own ends: he strips me in a trice, stark naked, and placing a broad settee-cushion on the carpet before the fire, oversets me gently topsy-turvy on it; and handling me only at the waist, whilst you may be sure I favour'd all his dispositions, brought my legs round his neck; so that my head was kept from the floor only by my hands, and the velvet cushion, which was now bespread with my flowing hair; thus I stood on my head and hands, supported by him in such manner, that whilst my thighs clung round him, so as to expose, to his sight all my back-figure, including the theatre of his bloody pleasure, the center of my forepart fairly bearded the now worthy object of its rage, that now stood in fine condition to give me satisfaction for the injuries of its neighbours. But as this posture was certainly not the easiest, and our imagination, wound up to the heighth, could suffer no delay; he first, with the utmost eagerness and effort, just lip-lodg'd that broad, acorn-fashion'd head of his instrument; and still friended by the fury with which he had made that impression, he soon stuffed in the rest; when now, with a pursuit of thrusts fiercely urg'd, he absolutely overpower'd, and absorb'd all sense of pain and uneasiness, whether from my wounds behind, my most untoward posture, or the oversize of his stretcher, in an infinitely predominat delight: when now all my whole spirits of life and sensation, rushing impetuously to the cock-pit, where the prize of pleasure was hotly in dispute, and clustering to a point there, I soon receiv'd the dear relief of nature from these over-violent strains and provocations of it, harmonizing with which, my gallant spouted into me such a potent overflow of the oily balsamic injection, as soften'd and unedg'd all those irritating stings of a new species of titilation, which I had been so untolerably madden'd with, and restor'd the ferment of my senses to some degree of composure.
I had now atchiev'd this rare adventure, ultimately much more to my satisfaction than I had bespoke the nature of it to turn out, nor was it much lessen'd, you may think, by my spark's lavish praises of my constancy and complaisance, which he gave weight to by a present that greatly passed my utmost expectation: besides his gratification to Mrs. Cole.
I was not however, at any time reintic'd to renew with him, or resort again to the violent expedient of lashing nature into more hast than good speed, which by the way, I conceive acts somewhat in the manner of a dose of Spanish flies, with more pain perhaps, but less danger, and might be necessary to him; but was nothing less so, than to me, whose appetites wanted the bridle more than the spur.
Mrs. Cole, to whom this adventrous exploit had more and more endear'd me, look'd on me now as a girl after her own heart, afraid of nothing; and, on a good account, hardy enough to fight all the weapons of pleasure through. Attentive then, in consequence of these favourable conceptions, to promote either my profit or pleasure, she had special regard for the first, in a new gallant of a very singular turn, that she procur'd for, and introduc'd to me.
This was a grave, staid, solemn, elderly gentleman, whose peculiar humour was a delight in combing fine tresses of hair, and as I was perfeótly headed to his taste, he us'd to come constantly at my toilette hours, when I let down my hair as loose as nature; and abandon'd it to him, to do what he pleas'd with it; and accordingly he would keep me an hour, or more, in play with it, drawing the comb through it, winding the curls round his fingers, even kissing it as he smooth'd it, and all this led to no other use of my person, or any other liberties whatever, any more than if a distinction of sexes had not existed,
Another peculiarity of taste he had, which was to present me at once with a dozen pair of the whitest kid-gloves at a time: these he would divert himself with drawing on me, and then biting off their fingers ends; all which fooleries of a sickly appetite, the old gentleman paid more liberally for, than most others did for more essential favours. This lasted till a violent cough seizing and laying him up, deliver'd me from this most innocent, and most insipid trifler; for I never heard more of him, after his first retreat.
You may be sure a by-job of this sort interfer'd with no other pursuit, or plan of life, which I led in truth with a modesty and reserve that was less the work of virtue, than of exhausted novelty, a glut of pleasure, and easy circumstances, that made me indifferent to any engagements in which pleasure and profit were not eminently united; and such I could with the less impatience wait for at the hands of time and fortune, as I was satisfied I could never mend my pennyworths, having evidently been serv'd at the top of the market, and even been pamper'd with dainties; besides that, in the sacrifice of a few momentary impulses, I found a secret satisfaction in respecting myself, as well as preserving the life and freshness of my complexion. Louisa and Emila did not carry indeed their reserve as high as I did, but still they were far from cheap or abandon'd, though two of their adventures adventures seem'd to contradict this general character, which for their singularity I shall give you in course, beginning first with Emily's
Louisa and she went one night to a ball; the first in the habit of a shepherdess; Emily in that of a shepherd: I saw them in their dresses before they went, and nothing in nature could represent a prettier boy than this last did; being so extremely fair and well limb'd. They had kept together for some time, when Louisa meeting with an old acquaintance of hers, very cordially gives her companion the drop, and leaves her under the protection of her boy's habit, which was not much, and of her discretion which was, it seems, yet less. Emily finding herself deserted, saunter'd thoughtlesly about a while, and as much for coolness and air, as any thing else, pull'd off her mask, at length, and went to the side-board, where, eyed and mark'd out by a gentleman in a very handsome domino, she was accosted by, and fell into chat with, him. The domino, after a little discourse, in which Emily doubtless distinguish'd her good nature and easiness more than her wit, began to make violent love to her, and drawing her insensibly to some benches at the lower end of the masquerade-room, got her to sit by him, where he squeez'd her hands, pinch'd her cheeks, prais'd and play'd with her fair hair, admir'd her complexion, and all in a style of courtship dash'd with a certain oddity, that not comprehending the mystery of, poor Emily attributed to his falling in with the humour of her disguise, and being naturally not the cruellest of her profession, began to incline to a parley on essentials: but here was the stress of the joke: He took her really for what she appear'd to be, a smock-fac'd boy, and she forgetting her dress, and of course ranging quite wide of his ideas, took all those addresses to be paid to herself as a woman, which she precisely ow'd to his not thinking her one: however this double error was push'd to such a height on both sides, that Emily who saw nothing in him but a gentle man of distinction by those points of dress, to which his disguise did not extend, warm'd too by the wine he had ply'd her with, and the caresses he had lavish'd upon her, suffer'd herself to be perswaded to go to a bagnio with him; and thus loosing sight of Mrs. Cole's cautions, with a blind confidence put herself into his hands to be carried wherever he pleas'd: or his part equally blinded by his wishes, whilst her egregious simplicity favour'd his deception more than the most exquisite art could have done, he suppos'd, no doubt, that he had lighted on some soft simpleton fit for his purpose, or some kept minion broke to his hand, who understood him perfectly well, and enter'd into his designs; but be that as it would, he led her to a coach, went into it with her, and brought her into a very handsome apartment, with a bed in it, but whether it were a bagnio or not, she could not tell, having spoke to nobody but himself. But when they were alone together, and her enamorato began to proceed to those extremities which instantly discover the sex, she remark'd that no description could paint up to the life, the mixture of pique, confusion, and disappointment, that appear'd in his countenance, which join'd to the mournful exclamation, "By heavens a woman!" This at once open'd her eyes which had hitherto been shut in downright stupidity. However, as if he had meant to retrieve that escape, he still continu'd to toy with and fondle her, but with so staring an alteration from extreme warmth into a chill and forc'd civility, that even Emily herself could not but take notice of it, and now began to wish she had paid more regard to Mrs. Cole's premonitions against ever engaging with a stranger: and now an excess of timidity succeeded to an excess of confidence, and she thought herself so much at his mercy and discretion, that she stood passive throughout the whole progress of his prelude: for now, whether the impressions of so great a beauty had even made him forgive her, her sex, or whether her appearance or figure in that dress still humour'd his first illusion, he recover'd by degrees a good part of his first warmth, and keeping Emily with her breeches still unbuttoned, stript them down to her knees, and gently impelling her to lean down, with her face against the bed-side, placed her so, that the double-way between the double rising behind, presented the choice fair to him, and he was so fiercely set on a mis-direction, as to give the girl no small alarms for fear of loosing a maiden-head she had not dreamt of; however her complaints, and a resistance gentle, but firm, check'd, and brought him to himself again; so that turning his steed's head, he drove him at length in the right road, in which his imagination having probably made the most of those resemblances that flatter'd his taste, he got with much ado whip and spur to his journey's end: after which he led her out himself, and walking with her two or three streets length, got her a chair, when making her a present not any thing inferior to what she could have expected, he left her, well recommended to the chairmen, who on her directions, brought her home.
This she related to Mrs. Cole and me, the same morning, not without the visible remains of the fear and confusion she had been in, still stamp'd on her countenance, Mrs. Cole's remark was, that her indiscretion proceeding from a constitutional facility, there were little hopes of any thing curing her of it, but repeated severe experience. Mine was that I could not conceive how it was possible for mankind to run into a taste, not only universally odious, but absurd, and impossible to gratify, since, according to the notions and experience I had of things, it was not in nature to force such immense disproportions: Mrs. Cole only smill'd at my ignorance, and said nothing towards my undeception, which was not effected but by occular demonstration, some months after, which a most singular accident furnish'd me, and I will here set down, that I may not return again to so disagreable a subject,
I had on a visit intended to Harriet, who had lodgings at Hampton-Court, hired a chariot to go out thither, Mrs. Cole having promis'd to accompany me: but some indispensible business intervening to detain her, I was obliged to set out alone; and scarce had I got a third of my way, before the axle-tree broke down, and I was well off, to get out safe and unhurt, into a publick-house of a tolerably handsome appearance, on the road. Here the people told me that the stage would come by in a couple of hours at farthest, upon which, determining to wait for it, sooner than loose the jaunt I had got so far forward on, I was carried into a very clean decent room up one pair of stairs, which I took possession of for the time I had to stay, in right of calling for sufficient to do the house justice.
Here, whilst I was amuſing myself with looking out of the window, a single horse-chaise stopt at the door, out of which lightly leap'd two young gentlemen, for so they seem'd, who came in as it were only to bait and refresh a little, for they gave their horse to be held in a readiness against they came out: and presently I heard the door of the next room to me open, where they were let in and call'd about them briskly, and as soon as they were serv'd, I could just hear that they shut and fasten'd the door on the inside.
A spirit of curiosity far from sudden, since I do not know when I was without it, prompted me, without any particular suspicion, or other drift, or view, to see who they were, and examine their persons and behaviour. The partition of our rooms was one of those moveable ones that when taken down, serv'd occasionally to lay them into one, for the convenience of a large company; and now my nicest search could not shew me the shadow of a peep-hole, a circumstance which probably had not escap'd the review of the parties on the other fide, whom much it stood upon not to be deceiv'd in it; but at length I observ'd a paper-patch of the same colour as the wainscot, which I took to conceal some flaw, but then it was so high, that I was oblig'd to stand on a chair to reach it, which I did as softly as possible, and with the point of a bodkin soon pierc'd it, and open'd my self espial-room sufficient: and now applying my eye close, I commanded the room perfectly, and could see my two young sparks romping, and pulling one another about, entirely to my imagination, in frolic, and innocent play.
The eldest might be, on my nearest guess, towards nineteen, a tall comely young man, in a white fustian frock, with a green velvet cape, and a cut bob-wig.
The youngest could not be above seventeen, fair, ruddy, compleatly well made, and to say the truth, a sweet pretty stripling: He was, I fancy too, a country lad, by his dress, which was a green plush frock, and breeches of the same, white waistcoat and stockings, a jockey cap, with his yellowish hair long, and loose, in natural curls,
But after a look of circumspection which I saw the eldest cast every way round the room, probably in too much hurry and heat not to overlook the very small opening I was posted at, especially at the height it was, whilst my eye too close to it, kept the light from shining through, and betraying it; he said some thing to his companion that presently chang'd the face of things,
For now the elder began to embrace, to press, to kiss the younger, to put his hands in his bosom, and give such manifest signs of an amorous intention, as made me conclude the other to be a girl in disguise, a mistake that nature kept me in countenance in, for she had certainly made one, when she gave him the male stamp.
In the rashness then of their age, and bent as they were to accomplish their project of preposterous pleasure, at the risque of the very worst of consequences, where a discovery was nothing less than improbable, they now proceeded to such lengths as soon satisfied me, what they were.
For presently the eldest unbotton'd the other's breeches, and removing the linnen barrier, brought out to view a white shaft, middle-siz'd, and scarce fledg'd, when after handling, and playing with it a little, with other dalliance, all receiv'd by the boy without other opposition, than certain wayward coynesses, ten times more alluring than repulsive, he got him to turn round with his face from him, to a chair that stood hard by, when knowing, I suppose, his office, the Ganymede now obsequiously lean'd his head against the back of it, and projecting his body, made a fair mark, still cover'd with his shirt, as he thus stood in a side view to meet but fronting his companion, who presently unmasking his battery, produc'd an engine, that certainly deserv'd to be put to a better use, and very fit to confirm me in my disbelief of the possibility of things being push'd to odious extremities, which I had built on the disproportion of parts; but this disbelief I was now to be cur'd of, as by my consent all young men should likewise be, that their innocence may not be betray'd into such snares, for want of knowing the extent of their danger, for nothing is more certain than, that ignorance of a vice, is by no means a guard against it.
Slipping then aside the young lad's shirt, and tucking it up under his cloaths behind, he shew'd to the open air, those globular, fleshy eminences that compose the mount-pleasants of Rome, and which now, with all the narrow vale that intersects them, stood display'd, and expos'd to his attack: nor could I, without a shudder, behold the dispositions he made for it. First then, moistening well with spittle his instrument, obviously to render it glib, he pointed, he introduc'd it, as I could plainly discern, not only from its direction, and my losing sight of it; but by the writhing, twisting, and soft murmur'd complaints of the young sufferer; but, at length, the first streights of entrance being pretty well got through, every thing seem'd to move, and go pretty currently on, as in a carpet-road, without much rub, or resistance: and now passing one hand round his minion's hips, he got hold of his red-topt ivory toy, that stood perfectly stiff, and shewed, that if he was like his mother behind, he was like his father before; this he diverted himself with, whilst with the other, he wanton'd with his hair, and leaning forward over his back, drew his face, from which the boy shook the loose curls that fell over it, in the posture he stood him in, and brought him towards his, so as to receive a long-breath'd kiss, after which, renewing his driving, and thus continuing to harrass his rear, the height of the fit came on with its usual symptoms, and dissmiss'd the action.
All this, so criminal a scene, I had the patience to see to an end, purely that I might gather more facts, and certainty against them in my full design to do their deserts instant justice, and accordingly, when they had readjusted themselves, and were preparing to go out, burning as I was with rage, and indignation, I jump'd down from my chair, in order to raise the house upon them, with such an unlucky impetuosity, that some nail or ruggedness in the floor caught my foot, and flung me on my face with such violence, that I fell senseless on the ground, and must have lain there some time e'er any one came to my relief, so that they, alarm'd, I suppose, by the noise of my fall, had more than the necessary time to make a safe retreat, which they affected, as I learnt, with a precipitation no body could account for, till, when come to my self, and compos'd enough to speak, I acquainted those of the house with the transaction I had been evidence to.
When I came home again, and told Mrs. Cole this adventure, she very sensibly observ'd to me, that there was no doubt of due vengeance one time or other overtaking these miscreants, however they might escape for the present; and that, had I been the temporal instrument of it, I should have been, at least, put to a great deal more trouble and confusion than I imagine: that as to the thing itself, the less said of it was the better; but that though she might be suspected of partiality, from its being the common cause of woman-kind, out of whose mouths this practice tended to take something more precious than bread, yet she protested against any mixture of passion, with a declaration extorted from her by pure regard to truth, which was, "that whatever effect this infamous passion had in other ages, and other countries, it seem'd a peculiar blessing on our air and climate, that there was a plague-spot visibly imprinted on all that are tainted with it, in this nation at least; for that among numbers of that stamp whom she had known, or at least were universally under the scandalous suspicion of it, she could not name an exception hardly of one of them, whose character was not in all other respects the most worthless and despicable that could be, stript of all the manly virtues of their own sex, and fill'd up with only the very worst vices and follies of ours: that, in fine, they were scarce less execrable than ridiculous in their monstrous inconsistency, of loathing and contemning women, and all at the same time, apeing their manners, airs, lisp, skuttle, and, in general, all their little modes of affectation, which become them at least better, than they do these unsex'd male-misses."
But here washing my hands of them, I replunge into the stream of my history, into which I may very properly ingraft a terrible sally of Louisa's, since I had some share in it myself, and have besides engag'd myself to relate it, in point of countenance to poor Emily. It will add too one more example to thousands, in confirmation of the maxim, that when women get once out of compass, there are no lengths of licentiousness they are not capable of running.
One morning then, that both Mrs. Cole and Emily, were gone out for the day, and only Louisa and I (not to mention the house-maid) were left in charge of the house; whilst we were loitering away the time, in looking through the shop-windows, the son of a poor woman who earned very hard bread indeed by mending of stockings, in a stall in the neighbourhood, offers us some nosegays rang'd round a small basket; by selling of which the poor boy eked out his mother's maintenance of them both: nor was he fit for any other way of livelihood, since he was not only a perfect changeling, or idiot, but stammer'd so that there was no understanding even those sounds that his half-a-dozen, at most, animal ideas prompted him to utter.
The boys, and servants in the neighbourhood, had given him the nick-name of Good-natur'd Dick, from the soft simpleton's doing every thing he was bid to do at the first word, and from his naturally having no turn to mischief; then, by the way, he was perfectly well made, stout, and clean-climb'd, tall of his age, as strong as a horse, and, with all, pretty featur'd; so that he was not absolutely such a figure to be snuffed at neither, if your nicety could, in favour of such essentials, have dispens'd with a face unwash'd, hair tangl'd for want of combing, and so ragged a plight, that he might have disputed points of shew, with e'er a heathen philosopher of them all.
This boy we had often seen, and bought his flowers, out of pure compassion, and nothing more: but just at this time, as he stood presenting us his basket, a sudden whim, a start of wayward fancy seiz'd Louisa, and without consulting me, she calls him in, and began to examine his nosegays culls out two, one for herself, another for me, and pulling out half-a-crown, very currently gives it him to change, as if she had really expected he could have chang'd it: but the boy scraching his head, made his signs explain his inability, in place of words, that he could not with all his struggling, articulate.
Louisa at this, says: "Well, my lad, come upstairs with me, and I will give you your due." Winking at the same time to me, and beckoning me to accompany her, which I did, securing first the street-door, that by this means, together with the shop, became wholly the care of the faithful house-maid.
As we went up, Louisa whisper'd me, that she had conceiv'd a strange longing to be satisfy'd, whether the general rule held good with regard to this changeling and how far nature had made him amends in her best bodily gifts, for her denial of the sublimer intellectual ones; begging at the same time my assistance in procuring her this satifsfaction: a want of complaisance was never my vice, and I was so far from opposing this extravagant frolic that now, bit with the same maggot, and my curiosity conspiring with hers, I enter'd plum into it, on my own account.
Consequently, as soon as we came into Louisa's bed-chamber, whilst she was amusing him with picking out his nosegays, I undertook the lead, and began the attack: as it was not then very material to keep much measures with a mere natural, I made presently very free with him, though at my first motion of meddling, his surpise and confusion made him receive my advances but aukwardly; nay, insomuch that he bashfully shy'd, and shy'd back a little, till encouraging him with my eyes, plucking him playfully by the hair, sleeking his cheeks, and forwarding my point by a number of little wantonness, I soon turn'd him familiar, and gave nature her sweetest alarm; so that arrouz'd, and beginning to feel himself, we could, amidst all the innocent laugh and grin I had provok'd him into, perceive the fire lighting in his eyes, and diffusing over his cheeks, blend its glow with that of his blushes; the emotion in short of animal pleasure glar'd distinctly in the simpleton's countenance; yet struck with the novelty of the scene, he did not know which way to look or move; but tame, passive, simpering, with his mouth half open, in stupid rapture, stood, and tractably suffer'd me to do what I pleas'd with him: his basket was dropt out of his hands, which Louisa took care off.
I had now, through more than one rent, discover'd and felt his thighs, the skin of which seem'd the smoother and fairer for the coarseness, and even dirt of his dress; as the teeth of Negroes seem the whiter for the surrounding black: and poor indeed of habit! poor of understanding! he was however abundantly rich in personal treasures, such as flesh, firm, plump, and replete with the sweet juices of youth, and robust well-knit limbs. My fingers too had now got within reach of the true, the genuine sensitive plant, which instead of shrinking from the touch, joys to meet it, and swells, and vegetates under it: mine pleasingly informing me that matters were so ripe for the discovery we meditated, that they were too mighty for the confinement they were ready to break; a waistband that I unskewer'd, and a rag of shirt that I remov'd, and which could not have cover'd a quarter of it, reveal'd the whole of the ideot's standard of distinction, erect, in full pride and display: but such an one! it was positively of so tremendous a size, that prepar'd as we were to see something extraordinary, it still, out of measure surpass'd our expectation, and astonish'd even me, who had not been us'd to trade in trifles: in fine, it might have answer'd very well the making a show of: its enormous head seem'd in hue and size, not unlike a common sheep's heart; then you might have troll'd dice securely along the broad back of the body of it: the length of it too was prodigious; then the rich appendage of the treasure-bag beneath, large in proportion, gather'd, and crisp'd up, round, in shallow furrows, help'd to fill the eye, and complete the proof of his being a natural, not quite in vain, since it was full manifest that he inherited, and largely too, the prerogative of majesty, which distinguishes that otherwise most unfortunate condition, and gives rise to the vulgar saying, "That a fool's bauble is a lady's play-fellow:" Nor wholly without reason; for, generally speaking, it is in love, as it is in war, where the longest weapon carries it. Nature, in short, had done so much to him in those parts, that she perhaps held her self acquitted for doing so little for his head.
For my part, who had sincerely no intention to push the joke further than simply satisfying my curiosity with the sight of it alone, I was content in spite of the temptation that star'd me in the face, with having rais'd a may-pole for another to hang a garland; for by this time, easily reading Louisa's desires in her wishful eyes, I acted the commodious part, and made her, who sought no better sport, significant signs of encouragement to go through-stitch with the adventure: intimating too that I would stay and see fair play; in which indeed I had in view to humour a new-born curiosity, to observe what appearances active nature would put on in a natural, in the course of this her darling operation.
Louisa, whose appetite was up, and who, like the industrious bee, was, it seems, not above gathering the sweets of so rare a flower, tho' she found it planted on a dung hill, was but too readily dispos'd to take the benefit of my cession: urg'd then strongly by her own desires, and emboldened by me, she presently determin'd to risque a trial of parts with the ideot, who was by this time nobly inflam'd for her purpose, by all the irritations we had us'd to put the principles of pleasure effectually into motion, and to wind up the springs of its organ to their supreme pitch: and it stood accordingly stiff and straining, ready to burst with the blood and spirits that swell'd it to a bulk! No! I shall never forget it.
Louisa then taking and holding the fine handle that so invitingly offer'd itself, led the ductile youth by that master-tool of his, as she stept backward towards the bed, which he joyfully gave way to, under the incitations of instinct, and palpably deliver'd up to the goad of desire.
Stopt then by the bed, she took the fall she lov'd, and lean'd to the most, gently backward upon it, still holding fast what she held, and taking care to give her cloaths a convenient toss up, so that her thighs duly disclos'd, and elevated, laid open all the outward prospect of the treasury of love: the rose-lipt ouverture presenting the cock-pit so fair, that it was not in nature even for a natural to miss it: nor did he, for Louisa, fully bent on grappling with it, and impatient of dalliance or delay, directed faithfully the point of the battering piece, and bounded up with a rage of so voracious appetite, to meet, and favour the thrust of insertion, that the fierce activity on both sides, effected it, but effected it with such a pain of distention, that Louisa cry'd out violently, that she was hurt beyond all bearing, that she was kill'd: but it was too late; the storm was up, and force was on her to give way to it: For now the man machine, strongly work'd upon by the sensual passion, felt so manfully his advantages, and superiority, felt withal the sting of pleasure so intolerable, that maddening with it, his joys began to assume a character of furiousness which made me tremble for the too tender Louisa: he seem'd at this juncture greater than himself; his countenance, before so void of meaning, or expression, now grew big with the importance of the act he was upon. In short, it was not now that he was to be play'd the fool with: but what is pleasant enough, I myself was aw'd into a sort of respect for him, by the comely terrors his emotions drest him in: his eyes shooting sparks of fire, his face glowing with ardours that gave all another life to it: his teeth churning; his whole frame agitated with a raging ungovernable impetuosity, all sensibly betraying the formidable fierceness with which the genial instinct acted upon him: butting then, and goring all before him, and mad, and wild, like an overdriven steer, he ploughs up the tender furrow, all insensible of Louisa's complaints: nothing can stop, nothing can keep out a fury like his; which having once got its head in, its blind rage soon made way for the rest, piercing, rending, and breaking open all obstruction: The torn, split, wounded girl cries, struggles, invokes me to her rescue, and endeavours to get from under the young savage, or shake him off, but alass, in vain! her breath might as soon have still'd, or stemm'd a storm in winter, as all her strength have quell'd his rough assault, or put him out of his course: And indeed all her efforts, and struggles were manag'd in such disorder, that they serv'd rather to entangle, and fold her the faster in the twine of his boisterous arms; so that she was tied to the stake, and oblig'd to fight the match out, if she died for it: for his part, instinct-ridden as he was, the expressions of his animal passion partaking something of ferocity, were rather worryings than kisses, intermix'd with eager ravenous love-bites on her cheeks and neck; the prints of which did not wear out for some days after.
Poor Louisa, however, bore up at length better than could have been expected, and though she suffer'd, and greatly too, yet ever true to the good old cause, she suffer'd with pleasure, and enjoy'd her pain: and soon now, by dint of an enrag'd enforcement, the brute machine, driven like a whirlwind, made all smoak again, and wedging its way up, to the utmost extremity, left her in point of penetration nothing either to fear, or to desire, and now,
Louisa lay, pleas'd to the heart, pleas'd to her utmost capacity of being so, with every fibre in those parts, stretch'd almost to breaking, on a rack of joy, whilst the instrument of all this overfulness, search'd her senses with its sweet excess, till the pleasure gain'd upon her so, its point stung her so home, that catching at length the rage from her furious driver, and sharing the riot of his wild rapture, she went wholly out of her mind into that favourite part of her body, the whole intenseness of which was so fervorously fill'd, and employ'd: there alone she existed, all lost in those delirious transports, those extasies of the senses, which her winking eyes, the brighten'd vermilion of her lips, and cheeks, and sighs of pleasure deeply fetched, so pathetically express'd. In short, she was now as meer a machine, as much wrought on, and had her motions as little at her own command, as the natural himself, who thus broke in upon her, made her feel with a vengeance his tempestuous tenderness, and the force of mettle he batter'd with: their active loins quiver'd again with the violence of their conflict, till the surge of pleasure foaming, and raging to a height, drew down the pearly shower that was to allay this hurricane: the purely sensitive ideot then first shed those tears of joy that attend its last moments, not without an agony of delight, and even almost a roar of rapture, as the gush escap'd him, so sensibly too for Louisa, that she kept him faithful company, going off, in consent, with the old symptoms; a delicious delirium, a tremulous convulsive shudder, and the critical dying oh! And now, on his getting off, she lay pleasure-drench'd and regorging its essentials sweets: but quite spent, but gasping for breath, without other sensation of life than in those exquisite vibrations, that trembled yet on the strings of delight, which had been so ravishingly touch'd; and which nature had been too intensely stirr'd with, for the senses to be quickly at peace from.
As for the changeling, whose curious engine had been thus successfully play'd off, his shift of countenance and gesture had even something droll, or rather tragi-comic in it: There was now an air of sad, repining foolishness, superadded to his natural one of no meaning, and ideotism; as he stood with his label of manhood, now lank, unstiffen'd, becalm'd, and flapping against his thighs, down which it reached half-way, terrible even in its fall: whilst, under the dejection of spirit, and flesh, which naturally follow'd, his eyes, by turns cast down towards his struck standard, or piteously lifted to Louisa, seem'd to require at her hands what he had so sensibly parted from to her, and now ruefully missed; but the vigor of nature soon returning, dissipated this blast of faintness which the common-law of enjoyment had subjected him to; and now his basket re-became his main concern, which I look'd for, and brought him, whilst Louisa restor'd his dress to its usual condition, and afterwards pleas'd him perhaps more by taking all his flowers off his hands, and paying him at his rate, for them, than if she had embarrass'd him by a present, that he would have been puzzled to account for, and might have put others on tracing the motives of it.
Whether she ever return'd to the attack, I know not, and to say the truth, I believe not; she had had her freak out, and had pretty plentifully drowned her curiosity in a glut of pleasure, which as it happen'd had no other consequence, than that the lad, who retain'd only a confus'd memory of the transaction, would when he saw her, for some little time after, express a grin of joy, and familiarity, after his ideot manner, and soon forgot her, probably in favour of the next woman tempted on the report of his parts to take him in.