Her Benny/Chapter 9
CHAPTER IX.
Tempted.
Where the watching, waiting angels
Lead them from the shadows dim,
To the brightness of His presence
Who has called them unto Him,—
Little hearts for ever stainless,
Little hands as pure as they,
Little feet by angels guided,
Never a forbidden way.
Towards the close of February Nelly caught a very severe cold, which kept her indoors for several days. One night her cough had been so bad that she scarcely slept at all, and when she got up in the morning, with flushed cheeks and hollow eyes, unrested and unrefreshed, granny insisted that she was not fit to go out, and that she must stay indoors and keep herself warm.
Benny was very sorry to lose her earnings, for, alas! it had been a hard struggle for the children to find the necessary coppers day by day to purchase food and pay for their lodgings: and had it not been for Joe Wrag's kindness, they would often have fared much worse. Nelly knew this very well, and hence it was a great trial to her to stay indoors doing nothing, while her Benny was out fighting the world alone.
"How will yer manage, Benny?" she said, with an anxious look in her eyes, the first morning that he went out alone.
"Oh, never fear, Nell, I'll 'cumulate the coppers some- how," was the response.
"What's 'cumulate, Benny?" for it was the first time he had ventured to use that word in her hearing.
"Well, I might a-knowed," he said, putting on a knowing look, "that you would not hundercumstand sich words, 'cause as how you don't seem to care for larnin' like me."
"Well, you 'ave not told me now, Benny."
"Oh, it means as how I'm bound to get the coppers somehow."
"How somehow, Benny? You'll only get 'em the right way, will yer, now?"
"Never fear, Nell; I's not goin' to steal 'em."
"But if you dunna get enough, Benny?"
"Oh, I'll go hungry for a day or two; 't won't be fust time I's done it."
"Poor Benny!" and she placed her wasted hand on his shoulder.
"But I 'ope it will be true, what Joe told me t' other night."
"What did he tell yer?"
"Well, he said the good Lord was sure to provide; that is, you know, Benny, He willna let us starve."
"I dunno much about Him, Nell."
"Oh, but Joe 'as told me lot an' lots about Him; an' He never says what He doesna mean; an' if He says He'll provide. He will, Benny."
"Anyhow, I shall be glad to see it," was Benny's observation, as he walked away, leaving Nelly standing at the door.
He found the days very long without a sight of his sister's face from morn till eve. But he bore up bravely, and hurried home as early as he possibly could when the day's toil was over. Nobody knew how much "little Nell" was to him: she had been the only comfort of his cheerless life, and when the world seemed more rough and unfriendly than usual, it was Nelly who stood by his side like a ministering angel, encouraging him still to persevere.
The sight of her sweet patient face in the evening was like a benediction to him, and after the frugal meal they would sit on the floor with their arms around each other before granny's fire. And Benny would tell his sister all the experiences of the day; making light, however, of the difficulties and disappointment, and magnifying every little pleasure that had fallen to his lot.
It was wonderful how thoughtful he was of his sister, and how he anticipated her every want. He would not give her a moment's pain on any consideration. Yet Nelly always knew when he was in trouble, though he said nothing about it; for experience had made her quick to detect his every mood.
One afternoon^ as Benny was passing along a narrow and not very frequented street^ he paused before a small hosier^s shop. A great many things had been hung outside the door to catch the eye of the passer-by. But one article especially attracted his attention, and that was a woollen "cross-over."
"Golly!" he said to himself, "if Nelly only had that, she'd be better in no time."
Nelly had been much better that morning, and but for the keen east wind that had been blowing for several days, she would have again ventured into the streets. And as Benny looked again and again at the cross-over, he thought how nice she would look with it crossed over her chest, and how nice and snug and warm it would make her feel. No cold, he was sure, could come through a thing like that; and it was the cold, granny said, that made her cough so much.
But he knew he could not purchase it, so with a sigh he turned away. Yet in less than half an hour he was standing before the shop again.
"They would never miss it," he muttered to himself, "an' Nelly needs it so much."
Then a voice within him whispered, "Don't steal, Benny," and again he walked away. But the tempter followed and gave him no rest.
"I could cut the string as easy as that,'* he said to himself, snapping his fingers. "And it ain't for myself that I wants it, and I dunna think it can be so very wrong to take it for little Nell, when she's so ill"
While he was musing thus, he was startled by a voice near him—
"Hullo, Ben, are 'e goin' to a funeral, yer look so glum?"
Looking up a narrow entry, he saw a lad that went by the name of "Perks," engaged in trying on a pair of shoes, that were evidently new, though they had been well plastered with mud.
Perks was not so big as Benny, though he was two or three years older. He was a strange-looking lad. A great shock of fiery red hair made hat or cap totally unnecessary. His face was plain, looked at under any circumstances, but a look of low cunning made it at times appear almost repulsive.
Perks was no friend of Benny's, who rarely took the trouble to reply when addressed by him. Benny knew that he was not honest. He never sold matches, and rarely carried parcels, and yet he had generally plenty of coppers at his disposal, and wore better clothes than any of the street lads. But to-day Benny was in a different humour to what he was generally. He had permitted an evil spirit to take possession of him, and hence was not so particular about his company.
So he walked up the entry close to where Perks sat, and pointing to the shoes, said in a whisper—
"Where'd yer get them?"
"Walked 'em," was the response.
"That is, stole 'em, ain't it?"
"Gem'mem of our per-fession don't say stole, it ain't perlite,"said Perks, trying tp look important.
"It means that, though," said Benny.
"Well, I admit I took 'em without leave, as I takes most things; it's most conwenient."
"How did yer manage?" said Benny.
"So yer wants to take up the per-fession, does yer?"
And there was a cunning leer in his eye as he spoke.
"No, I don't," said Benny, colouring up.
"What yer ax me for 'ow I did it, then?"
"For fun."
"No doubt. But, I'll tell yer, nothin' is easier. Folks hang things outside on purpose to be stole. I took up the per-fession 'cause I couldn't 'elp it. Shopkeepers put things right under my nose, an' made me take 'em against my will at fast. Now I's no feelin' 'bout it at all."
"'T ain't right, though, nohow," said Benny.
Perks was about to sneer at this remark, but thought better of it, and answered, after a pause
" Well, if it ain't, I's not to blame. Folks just put things in my way; an' a chap's not to blame for eatin' butter when it's put in his mouth."
To this Benny ventured no remark. And Perks having fastened on the shoes to his satisfaction, said, "Come with me a minute," and together they walked off into a more crowded thoroughfare.
Poor Benny! in such a state of mind as he was, he could not have fallen into worse hands. He was fast getting into the toils of the tempter; and who should deliver him?
For awhile Benny and Perks walked on in silence, when suddenly Perks clutched his arm and whispered in his ear—
"Look alive, an* Fll show yer a bit of nice play."
"What yer mean?" said Benny.
"Ter see that man afore us. with a bit o* his hankercher peepin' out o' his pocket?"
"Ay."
"Well, there's another chap walkin' alongside o' him, an' comin' down the street is three or four more; don't 'e see as how they'll all meet by that lamp-post? Well, ther'll be a bit o' crush, an' I'll just pop in atween 'em at the same time onexpected, an' for a moment we'll be sixes an' sevens, an' then the thing is done."
And off Perks darted like the wind. Benny did not Yait to see how he succeeded in his undertaking. The poisonous seed had taken root in the soil that had been prepared for its reception, and Benny hurried away to the hosier's shop, alas! already a thief in heart, if not in fiction, for he had made up his mind to take the cross-over if anything like a favourable opportunity presented itself.
"I's not to blame for takin' things," he said, using Perks's words, "if people puts 'em right in one's way."
It was getting dusk, and in this narrow street it was darker than in the street he had just left.
Yes, there was the cross -over. And, after looking at all the windows in the neighbourhood, to see that no one was watching him, he glided stealthily up to the door. The shopkeeper was busy inside. "So much the better," he thought. "Now's the time." And he stretched out his hand to grasp the coveted article, when a hand was laid upon his arm with a firm grip, and, turning, he saw a face that made the perspiration ooze &om him at every pore.
Leaving Benny for a moment to recover his fright, we will go back to Tempest Court, and have a look at Nelly. She had been restless and ill at ease all the day—a sign, granny said, that she was getting better; and, indeed, she felt much better in body, though she was uneasy in mind, and, as the day kept fine and got much warmer as the hours wore on, she determined she would go out and see how Benny was getting on, for she had a vague presentiment that all was not right.
On reaching the landing-stage she looked anxiously around, but Benny was nowhere visible. This did not trouble her much, but after loitering around for a good part of an hour, and he did not come, she began to feel alarmed; still she waited around, till, unable longer to bear the burden of suspense, she started off to search for him. Up one street and down another she went, looking here and there and everywhere, but without avail Just before four o'clock she made her way to the old trysting-place by St. George's Church, in the hope that Benny might do the same; but, alas! she was doomed to disappointment, for he did not come; and when she saw the daylight begin to fade, she got frightened, feeling sure that some evil had befallen "her Benny."
A hand was laid upon his arm with a firm grip.
Evil, alas! had befallen him, though not of the nature she had feared.
At length she saw some one turn up a narrow street that looked like Benny. She could not be certain, but she would follow and see; so with beating heart she hurried up the street.
Yes, it was Benny; she was near enough to recognize him now. But when she saw—as she did at a glance—what he was about to do, her heart stood still for a moment; the next moment she harried forward with the fleetness of the wind, and laid her hand upon his arm, unable to speak a word.
For two or three seconds the children looked at each other in silence, then Nelly took her brother by the hand and led him away. She uttered no word of reproach, she only said, "My poor Benny!" and her great round eyes filled with tears, which rolled silently down her wasted cheeks.
"It was for you, Nelly, I thought 't would warm yer. I wouldna 'ave done it for myself."
And again came the words, in a choking voice, "My poor Benny!"
"I didna think it war so very wicked, seein' as you is so ill, Nelly. Is you very mad at me, Nell?"
"I's not mad, Benny, but I's sorry—oh, so sorry! I did not think——"
But here she broke off abruptly: she would utter no word of reproach, for she knew it was all out of love for her.
That evening she could eat no supper. Benny knew the reason and did not press her, but her silent grief nearly broke his heart. He would rather suffer anything himself than see his sister suffer. And yet now he had given her keener pain than words could tell.
In the middle of the night he awoke and found her sobbing by his side as though her little heart would break, and he knew that he was the cause of her grief.
"If you plaise, Mr. God, I's very sorry I tried to stole."
"Don't take on so, Nell," he said, in a voice that had the sound of tears in it. And he drew her tear-stained face towards him and kissed her affectionately.
But she only sobbed the more.
"Do forgive me, Nell," he said. "I's very sorry."
"I 'as nothin' to forgive you for, Benny; you's always been good to me. Ax the dear Lord to forgive yer."
"I knows nowt about Him, Nell."
"But He knows about you, Benny—Joe says so; and He sees everything we does. Ax Him."
"Could He hear if I wur to ax Him?"
"Yes, Joe says as He hears everything."
"Then I'll try Him," said Benny, and, sitting up in bed, he commenced—
"If you plaise, Mr. God, I's very sorry I tried to stole; but if you'll be a trump an' not split on a poor little chap, I'll be mighty 'bliged to yer. An' I promise 'e I won't do nowt o' the sort agin."
"There, will that do, Nell?"
"Say Amen."
"Amen," said Benny, and he lay down to listen for the answer.
But after waiting a long time and no voice broke the stillness of the night, and Nelly having fallen asleep, our hero concluded that she had received the answer, as she seemed so much comforted; so he thought that he might go to sleep also, which he accordingly did, and did not awake till late in the morning, when he saw his sister bending over him with a calm face from which all trace of pain had fled, and a beautiful light shining in her eyes.
This satisfied him that his prayer had been answered, and once more his heart was at peace.