How a play is produced/The Property Man
The Property Man
THE property man lives in the property room, which is a place difficult to describe, for everything you can possibly think of is kept inside it: swords, a stuffed canary, bowls, drums, goblets, dishes, bags, pipes, antique vases, folios, baskets, trunks, inkpots, samovars, diadems, rings, cards, dice, trumpets, Red Indian quivers, boxes, pistols, civil and military utensils of all the ages, instruments of all countries, everything that ever was and now is.
It is the property man’s duty to procure whatever the dramatist needs: a motor-car, a horse, an aquarium, a white elephant, a dead cat, a live peacock, a decimal weight, Aladdin’s ring, dirty washing, a musical box, a waterfall, an infernal machine, a singing spinning-wheel: in a word, every possible thing with the exception of the following: (1) all that is fixed to walls and hangs up is a matter for the upholsterer;,_illustration_by_Josef_%C4%8Capek,_pg_152.png)
(2) all that gives light is in the hands of the electrician; (3) all that, which apart from jewels and weapons, is the wardrobe man’s affair.
The property man is also supposed to see to all that is eaten, drunk or smoked on the stage during the performance. Further, he must look after and hand out all the despatches, letters, and Papal Bulls that have to appear on the stage: to provide live animals: to ring bells and fire shots: take on to the stage the properties required and carry them off again: and many other things.
From the property man’s point of view the realistic plays are the difficult ones. You would never believe how difficult it is to get hold of a rusty hoop or a pair of snuffers, and these are just the very things that the realistic school of dramatists loves to prescribe. It would be far better if they asked for a Papal tiara, or a Neptune’s trident: for the property man has this kind of junk in plenty. But where in the Lord’s name are you to get hold of a rusty hoop? Where are you to procure a piece of oakum? Where can you find a broken loom? These are terrible demands.