Imaginotions/Chapter 2
THE TONGALOO TOURNAMENT
WHEN I was a young man, about thirty years of age, I came to the city to make my fortune. I had no profession and was ready to do anything honorable that promised me fair wages. To save my money, I boarded with another young fellow who was also looking for work. He was hardly more than a boy, about fifteen, I think, but he may have been younger.
His name was Marmaduke Perron, and I think he must have been French, he was always so gay and confident. Nothing made him blue. Even when we had spent all but enough to pay one week's board he would not be discouraged. He went every day to answer advertisements or to ask for work.
I was older, came of Scotch stock, and was more easily disheartened.
One day, after a long tramp about the city without finding anything except an agency to sell very poor chromos, I came in, and settled down by our little cylinder stove, entirely hopeless. I had about made up my mind to go back to my country home, when Marmaduke came in. He seemed very jolly, and for the first moment I thought he must have found work. Then I remembered that he always did come back in a happy frame of mind, and I became gloomy again.
This time, however, Marmaduke had found something—though I was inclined to sneer when he told me what it was.
"Well, our luck has turned at last!" said he, brightly. "I knew it would."
"Have you found a place?" I inquired, with but little interest.
"Yes," he answered. "And what is better, I have found a place for you, too."
"What is it?" I asked, with some little hope.
"I went to answer an advertisement calling for agents willing to travel abroad," said Marmaduke, "and I found a firm of dealers in notions who wanted two young men to go to Corea and sell a miscellaneous cargo."
"Corea? Where's Corea?" I asked, for I had only a vague notion of the country.
"Don't know, I'm sure," said Marmaduke, as if impatient of the interruption; "but the old man I saw was quite confidential with me. He told me that his firm had bought a large number of roller-skates and did n't quite know what to do with them."
"Why don't they sell them?"
"They can't. These are the old-fashioned kind. They fasten with straps," Marmaduke explained, "and all the new roller-skates fasten with clamps. So there is no market for them in this country."
"And why do they think they will sell in Corea?" I asked, but with little interest, for the whole scheme seemed to me very absurd. "How did the firm come to buy them?"
"There's a queer story about that," said Marmaduke earnestly. "They told me about it in confidence; but I can tell you, because we are going into this enterprise together."
"You 're sure of that?" I asked, smiling in spite of myself.
"It's a splendid chance!" said Marmaduke. "The way they came to buy them was this: the senior partner of the firm is getting old and is a little shaky in his intellect, but he loves to buy things; and as his partners are his sons, they don't like to interfere with his pleasure. Usually he buys only trifles, but somehow he had an idea that these skates were a great investment and he has bought hundreds of them. He expects to 'realize,' as they say, a large profit."
"How ridiculous!" I broke in.
"I don't think so," said Marmaduke. "I think the old man has a very level head. Do you remember Lord Timothy Dexter and the warming-pans?"
"No, I don't," I answered, and he was too impatient to tell me about it. He was full of the Corean enterprise.
"Corea," he said, "is, they tell me, a new country. That is, it has n't long been open to commerce. I believe the natives will jump at the skates!"
As I was tired and sleepy I refused to hear anything more about so foolish a venture, and went to bed. Marmaduke tried in vain to talk to me as I was undressing. I shut my bedroom door and put out the light.
Next morning, however, there was a very strong argument in favor of the plan. That was my lack of cash. I must do something, and as this firm offered to pay all our expenses and give us a commission besides, both on the present lot of skates and on all for which we might make a market, I could n't see that we risked anything. Then, too, I was fond of the boy, was glad to be with him, and had n't the heart to disappoint him by refusing. In short, I consented, though I was sure we were going on a fool's errand.
So we set sail. Marmaduke was full of hope, and I, though expecting nothing, was glad of the sea-voyage and of the rest. The first part of our journey was by steamer, and the latter part was by a sailing-vessel. The voyage was without anything to compare in interest with our adventures on land, so I will pass on to the time when we were put ashore near a native village which looked about as dreary and melancholy as any place could look. There was n't a thing in sight except the low mud houses thatched with a sort of rushes.
We found out afterward that we had made a serious mistake. The place to which our cargo was consigned was something like a city—as nearly as such things exist in Corea. But, by a mistake in the name, we were landed upon an island where no white man had preceded us.
Consequently, the natives had fled in terror when the ship landed us and unloaded our boxes of skates and then sailed away as rapidly as possible. The captain, to judge by his hasty departure, knew the character of the natives and was glad to put a few leagues between his ship and these savages. For savages they were, as we soon found out. No sooner was the ship out of sight than the bushes round about the beach began to blossom with heads. Then the natives came out one by one, and before we fairly understood our position we were seized, bound hand and foot, hoisted upon the shoulders of some outlandish warriors, and borne away in triumph, followed by a long file of natives, carrying each a box of roller-skates.
We were entirely unarmed, and could have made no resistance even if there had been time.
"This is a pleasant beginning!" I said, with some bitterness.
"There's nothing very unpleasant so far," said Marmaduke cheerfully. "You know I was afraid we might have trouble with the custom-house, or that the freight charges might eat up our profits."
"There does n't seem to be any trouble about getting into the country, I must admit," I answered frankly. "But I am afraid there may be some question about who owns the goods when we get there."
"I don't believe in going to seek trouble," said Marmaduke. "They evidently want our company, and seem to have no objection to carrying our baggage."
Meanwhile, the Coreans made no remarks, but kept up a steady jog-trot which soon brought them to the center of the village, where they halted before a hut larger than any we had seen.
Here they untied us, and made signs that we should enter the hut.
"Probably the custom-house!" I said dryly.
"The principal hotel, I think," said Marmaduke, stretching his legs and arms.
The building contained only one room, and at the further end of this sat the chief—at least we judged so because he was the crossest-looking man in the room; and we subsequently discovered that we were right.
Then began our trial. Though, of course, we could not understand a word that was said, it was very easy to follow the general line of the talk.
First, the man who commanded the procession which brought us in told his story. He described the ship, our landing, the ship's hasty departure, the capture of ourselves, and, concluding, pointed to the boxes.
Then the chief commanded one of the boxes to be opened. It was forced open with a small hatchet-like weapon, and one of the skates was handed to the chief. He was completely puzzled. He blew on it, rubbed it over his head, weighed it, tried to spin it, and then turned to us, saying something like:
"Walla ella ing-kang-cho?"
Thereupon Marmaduke replied sweetly:
"Yes, most noble panjandrum. You have hit it exactly. It's a simple roller-skate. I see you don't understand it at all, and I'm not surprised. You don't seem over-intelligent."
The chief shook his head impatiently and growled. Then he picked up an ivory baton lying by his side, and struck a sweet-toned gong.
"I hope that's dinner," said Marmaduke, and I agreed with him, providing we were to be guests only, and not the choicest dainties on the bill of fare.
But we were wrong. As the gong tones were dying away a curious figure entered the hut and made its way toward the dais where the chief was sitting. It was that of an old man with a scanty snow-white beard. He carried a carved rattle in his hand and shook it as he walked.
"TAKING THE SKATE VERY GINGERLY IN HIS LEFT HAND, HE SPUN THE LITTLE WHEELS WITH HIS RIGHT."
"Well, Old Rattle-box," said Marmaduke, "I hope you will help us out of this fix. Maybe he's an interpreter."
"More likely to be the head cook," was my suggestion.
The new-comer conferred for a few moments with the chief, and then bent all his energies to the mystery of the roller-skate. Needless to say, it was too much for him. But he seemed clever enough to pretend he knew all about it. So, taking the skate very gingerly in his left hand, he spun the little wheels with his right. Then he dropped it as if it was a very hot potato, and turning to the chief began to chatter away in a tone which showed he was bringing some frightful accusation against our innocent merchandise.
The chief, as the old man spoke, drew himself away from the skate, which had fallen near his foot, and regarded the harmless wheels and straps with an expression of dread and distrust.
"I see the old fellow's game," said Marmaduke. "He does n't know at all what it is, any more than his superb highness the ignoramus on the bench. And so he has told them it's witchcraft, or bugaboo, or taboo, or something of the kind. They 'll be for slaying us outright in a moment, you 'll see."
And indeed in a minute the chief gave a hasty order, and the soldiers advanced upon us.
"Good-by, Marmaduke, my lad," said I, in a sorrowful tone. "Life is short at best, dear friend, and—"
"Don't be a whiner yet," said Marmaduke. "You have n't heard the counsel for the defense yet. I 'll move the whole court-room to tears in a moment."
"You are a brave boy," said I, smiling sadly at him. "Good-by! I should not have led you into this trouble."
"You just keep quiet, and you 'll see me lead you out of it," said Marmaduke. Then, while the chief was giving some too plain directions to the guards, ending up by drawing his hand eloquently across his throat, Marmaduke arose to his feet.
"Fellow-citizens!" he said. All the natives turned toward him, for his voice was as commanding as that of a foot-ball captain. "You are making idiots of yourselves. As for Old Rattle-box there, he does n't know beans. If there were any sense in his noddle, he would have guessed what the roller-skate was for in a jiffy. Just see here." Then Marmaduke took a pencil from his pocket, and seizing a piece of the pine box, began to draw a picture.
Now Marmaduke was a natural artist, and consequently spoke a universal language. The natives bent over to see what he was doing, and even the chief elbowed his way to the front, after pushing over several of the other selfish spectators.
Marmaduke made a picture of himself on roller-skates, gliding gracefully over the ground, and drew a native running at full speed beside him. In vain did "Old Rattle-box" stand outside shaking his head and muttering his disapproval. Marmaduke's picture had excited the natives' curiosity, and when he leaned over and took a pair of skates from the box, seated himself, and proceeded to put them on, only one hand was raised to prevent him. Rattle-box tried to take the skates from his hand, and was soundly cuffed by the deeply interested chief. Then we knew that the tide had turned.
In a moment Marmaduke strapped on the skates and arose to his feet. Luckily, the floor was of hard beaten earth and made an excellent rink. As he glided gently along the floor the chief caught him by the arm, pointed to the door, smiled very significantly, and shook his head.
"That's all right, old man," said Marmaduke cordially. "I'm not going away. At least, not till I 've sold out my skates. Put a guard at the door!" and he pointed to a soldier and then at the doorway. The chief was a quick-witted old warrior, and he saw the point at once. The guard was posted. Then Marmaduke, who was an excellent skater, motioned the crowd back, and cut pigeon-wings to the admiration of his spectators.
They laughed and shouted and clapped their hands with delight. At last Marmaduke said to me, "Don't you think that's enough for the present?"
"Yes," I replied, smiling in spite of myself. "But I don't see what good it is going to do."
"Well, you shall see," said Marmaduke. So then he glided gracefully on the "outside edge" over to the chief, and made signs that he was hungry.
The chief, now in the best of humor, nodded, laughed, and gave some orders to an attendant. In a few minutes some hot rice and other food (chickens, I think) was brought, and we sat down to our first meal in Corea. But previously Marmaduke made signs to the chief to send the crowd away, by pointing to the door and pushing at the crowd.
The chief smiled again, cleared the room, and contented himself with posting two strong spearmen at the door.
As we ate our meal Marmaduke conversed with the chief, and by patient endeavors at last made him understand that he, the chief, could also learn this wonderful art. Then the joy of the old barbarian was unbounded, and he wished to begin at once. But Marmaduke pointed to the dinner, looked imploringly at the chief, and thus obtained a postponement until the meal was done.
But no sooner was the table—or mat—cleared, than the chief held out his feet for the skates.
"He will break his royal neck, sure!" I said nervously, thinking what our fate would be in case of such a happening.
"Oh, I think not," said Marmaduke cheerfully; "but we have to take some risks in every business. This is a sort of speculation."
"But his feet will go out from under him at the first step," I insisted.
"We must support him," said Marmaduke. "Put on your skates, and remember that if 'Jack falls down and breaks his crown,'—we 're ruined!"
We put on our skates; we strapped the royal feet firmly to the treacherous rollers, and helped him up.
A fish out of water was nothing to the antics of that unfortunate savage. One guard at the door tried in vain to restrain his mirth. When the king went scooting over the floor, as we supported his limp frame with its two awkward legs projecting aimlessly forward, the guard burst into a loud guffaw. The chief, or king, heard that unhappy man's laugh, and, struggling wildly to his feet, roared an order to the other guards. The unfortunate soldier was at once hurried away to prison, or something worse. Thereafter there was no outward levity.
"A FISH OUT OF WATER WAS NOTHING TO THE ANTICS OF THAT UNFORTUNATE SAVAGE."
We toiled with His Royal Highness for several hours. He was plucky, and gave up only when completely tired out. Then we took a recess until the following morning.
For the next day or two we were in high favor at court and fared sumptuously; and when the king found that he could really skate alone he was perfectly happy. Of course he had a fall or two, but the craze for roller-skating was upon him, and Marmaduke's first exhibition had shown him that there was still much to learn. Consequently he was anxious to keep our favor, at least until he acquired the art, and did not mind a bump or two.
"I DO NOT THINK THE CHIEF WAS EVER MORE AMUSED IN HIS LIFE THAN WHEN HE SAW RATTLE-BOX ON THE ROLLERS."
At first the chief was unwilling to allow any one else to learn; but Marmaduke, who had even learned a few words of the language, persuaded the old man that it would be great fun to see Rattle-box learn to skate; and at last the chief consented.
When the old medicine-man came in he was horrified to see the ruler of his nation gliding about the floor with considerable ease, and listened with terror to the chief's command that he, too, must acquire this art. But he did not dare refuse; and, besides, the clever old man foresaw that skating would be the fashion as soon as the knowledge that the chief had patronized it should become general.
I do not think the chief was ever more amused in his life than when he watched Rattle-box take his first instruction on the rollers. He laughed till he cried, and even permitted the guards to laugh too. But the medicine-man was an apt pupil, and before long there was a quartet of fairly skilful performers on the floor.
Then we threw open the doors to the public, and gave a grand exhibition. It would no doubt have run (or skated) a hundred nights or more. The success of the art was assured, and the next month was one long term of skating-school. We had plenty of skates, and the chief caused a large floor to be laid and roofed over for the sport. Soon the craze was so general that the chief had to make penalties for those who skated except at certain legal hours.
Marmaduke could by this time readily make himself understood in simple sentences, though he was not far enough advanced to comprehend much that was said; and one day he announced that he was ready to return to New York.
"But they 'll never let us go in the world," I said, somewhat out of temper. For, to tell the truth, I was not at all pleased with Marmaduke's apparent interest in this barbarous people.
"Oh, yes, they will," said he. "You will see. We 'll just get into a boat and row away."
"And be a target for all the bowmen in the island!" I said. "You 've had wonderful luck so far, I admit; but I don't care to run a skating-rink for Corean savages all my life."
"Nor do I," said Marmaduke. "I'm going to give a grand tournament with prizes, and then give up the business and leave Tongaloo forever."
"And be eaten at the conclusion of the tournament!"
"I think not," he said, and turned again to his work. He was painting a large poster, with native dyes, representing a grand skating-race. Over the top he had printed in large letters:
The Tongaloo Tournament!
"There!" said he, as he finished. "Now you must do all you can to make the thing a success!"
So I did. I went about all day among the skaters, saying: "Bonga Tongaloo tournament! Vanga goo Tongaloo tournament!" and other such phrases as Marmaduke taught me. These words meant, he said, that it was all the rage, and the correct thing.
At last the great day arrived. The chief had furnished the minor prizes; but the great event of all was to be the final, straight-away race open to all comers, and for this the first prize was to be Marmaduke's gold watch, and the second my stylographic pen.
The course was laid out along the best native road, which Marmaduke had taught them to macadamize for the occasion. The distance was to be a mile out and then back again to the starting-point.
Every able-bodied islander was entered, and Marmaduke and I put on our skates with the rest.
Amid tremendous excitement the signal was given, and away they went—clatter, clatter, clatter, clatter!—down the road.
Gradually, Marmaduke and I, though apparently making unusual exertions, fell behind, and as soon as the crowd had gained a good lead on us, we sat down, cut off our skates, and struck out across country for the beach.
One or two of the nearest skaters stared after us, and then tried to pursue; but as they forgot to remove their skates, so soon as they reached rough ground they went over upon their noses, like ninepins, and in a few minutes we were far ahead.
"AS SOON AS THE CROWD HAD GAINED A GOOD LEAD ON US WE CUT OFF OUR SKATES AND STRUCK OUT FOR THE BEACH."
We gained the beach just as the foremost pursuers began to push their way through the bushes, and, climbing into a boat, away we shot toward a neighboring island which was occupied by a more civilized race.
Well, we escaped without being hit by a single arrow, and sailed for New York shortly afterward.