Songs and Lyrics (Lehrer)/In Old Mexico
Appearance
IN OLD MEXICO
words & music by Tom Lehrer
When it's fiesta time in Guadalajara,Then I long to be back once againIn old Mexico.Where we lived for today,Never giving a thought to tomara.To the strumming of guitarsIn a hundred grubby barsI would whisper "te amo."
The mariachis would serenade,And they would not shut up till they were paid.We ate, we drank, and we were merry,And we got typhoid and dysentery.
But best of all, we went to the Plaza de Toros.Now whenever I start feeling morose,I revive by recalling that scene.And names like Belmonte, Dominguín, and Manolete.If I live to a hundred and eight-e,I shall never forget what they mean.
(For there is surely nothing more beautiful in this world than the sight of a lone man facing singlehandedly a half a ton of angry pot roast!)
Out came the matador,Who must have been potted orSlightly insane, but who looked rather bored.Then the picadors of course,Each one on his horse.I shouted "olé!" ev'ry time one was gored.I cheered at the banderilleros' displayAs they stuck the bull in their own clever wayFor I hadn't had so much fun since the dayMy brother's dog RoverGot run over.
(Rover was killed by a Pontiac. and it was done with such grace and artistry that the witnesses awarded the driver both ears and the tail --- But I digress.)
The moment had come.I swallowed my gum.We knew there'd be blood on the sand pretty soon.The crowd held its breath,Hoping that deathWould brighten an otherwise dull afternoon.
At lastThe matador did what we wanted him to.He raised his sword and his aim was true.In that moment of truth I suddenly knewThat someone had stolen my wallet.
Now it's fiesta time in Akron, OhioBut it's back to old Guadalajara I'm longing to go.[1] Faraway from the strikes of the A. F. of L. and C. I. O.How I wish I could get backTo the land of the wetbackAnd forget the AlamoIn old Mexico.Olé!
- ↑ In Tomfoolery this ending was replaced by:
For though, try as I may,
I can never repay
All that I owe
To the land of mañana
And cheap marijuana.
(It's so easy to grow.)
In old Mexico.