In Other Words/A Ballplayer's Day
A Ballplayer’s Day
‘‘Sweet are the uses of advertisement.”
OLD SONG
OLD SONG
The famous pitcher woke at eight To one of GUFF’S ALARUM CLOCKS,Put on a suit of AERO-GREAT, And donned a pair of SILKO-SOX.
Then, lathered well with SMEAREM’S SOAP, He shaved with BOREM’S RUSTLESS BLADE;Did on a suit of heliotrope— THE KAMPUS KUT in every shade.
Then berries served with JORDAN’S CREAM And eggs from BUNKEM’S DAIRY FARM;Then, as he read THE MORNING SCREAM, He smoked a pipe of LUCKY CHARM.
Then, donning one of BEANEM’S HATS, He rode out in his WHATSTHECAR;Played ball; then home to RENTEM’S FLATS To smoke a SHUTEMOUT CIGAR.
He listened to his WAXAPHONE, Then lay—ending his day so rough—Upon a mattress widely known.***** But, at the price, I’ve said enough.