In Other Words/It's Really Disheartening

by Franklin P. Adams

Layout 2

 

 

It’s Really Disheartening

 

When Homer smote his you-know-what
 To sing about M. J. Ulysses,
Old Constant Reader said ’twas not
 The thing to read to youths and misses.
And Old Subscriber sent a note
 Whose words Hellenic I’ve forgotten—
Translated, this is what he wrote:
 “Please can this Homer simp; he’s rotten.”

When Q. Horatius penned a pome
 And put it in the Sabine Journal,
Pro Bono Publico, of Rome,
 Wrote in: “This column is infernal.
If that is humorous, good night!
 Don’t tell me that you pay him money.
Whoever said this boob could write?
 Whoever told him he was funny?”

And when a column, all in rhyme,
 In solid agate, signed ‘‘John Milton,”
Appeared, some cleped him “Quince” and “Lime,”
 And said his stuff was very Stilton.
When Avon’s bard put on a play
 Those were who said: “He can’t deliver,
This William Shaxpur! Fade away!
 Good sooth, the fellow is a flivver!”

His path is steep, his lot is hard,
 Who Rare and Wondrous Lines composes.
Alas! to be a famous bard
 Is not an ostermoor of roses!
And if of those great poet-men
 Some folks would say: “This guy a shine is,”
What show have I? for now and then
 Their stuff was just as good as mine is.