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In Other Words/The Truth About the Spratts

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The Truth About the Spratts
As to the meat that was upon
The J. Spratts’ bill-of-fare—
Now, Mrs. Spratt liked hers well done
While Jack preferred his rare.

Jack Spratt liked lots of light,
His wife desired it dim,
For her the shaded lamp and low—
The 32s for him.

Jack Spratt liked lots of air,
All windows opened wide,
While Mrs. S. detested draughts—
“This flat is cold!” she cried.

Jack Spratt liked comedies.
The missus liked to weep
At dismal dramas, such as put
Her lawful spouse to sleep.

John Spratt, he hated bridge;
His consort was a fiend.
Who always would suggest a game
Whenever friends convened.

J. Spratt liked keeping house,
His wife preferred to board.
“Nothing like that for Colonel Spratt!”
Declared her liegest lord.

Jack Spratt was all for prose,
His wife was all for rhyme;
And so betwixt them both, you see,
They had a helova time.