Lapsus Calami (Apr 1891)/An Election Address
For other versions of this work, see An Election Address.
An Election Address.
(To Cambridge University, 1882.)
I venture to suggest that IAm rather noticeably fitTo hold the seat illumined byThe names of Palmerston and Pitt.
My principles are such as youHave often heard expressed before:They are, without exception, true;And who can say, with candour, more?
My views concerning Church and StateAre such as Bishops have professed:I need not recapitulateThe arguments on which they rest.
Respecting Ireland, I opineThat Ministers are in a mess,That landlords rule by Right Divine,That Firmness will remove Distress.
I see with horror undisguisedThat freedom of debate is dead:The Liberals are organised:The Caucus rears its hideous head.
Yet need'st thou, England, not despairAt Chamberlain's or Gladstone's pride,While Henry Cecil Raikes is thereTo organise the other side.
I never quit, as others do,Political intrigue, to seekThe dingy literary crew,Or hear the voice of science speak.
But I have fostered, guided, plannedCommercial enterprise: in meSome ten or twelve directors andSix worthy chairmen you may see.
My academical careerWas free from any sort of blot:I challenge anybody hereTo demonstrate that it was not.
At classics too I worked amain,Whereby I did not only pass,But even managed to obtainA very decent second class.
And since those early days, the sameSuccess has crowned the self-same plan;Profundity I cannot claim:Respectability I can.
Pall Mall Gazette, Nov. 27, 1882.