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Littell's Living Age/Volume 131/Issue 1689/The Wants of the Nation

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THE WANTS OF THE NATION.

Wanted, a skipper, who voyaging faster
Than any one else, ne'er brings ship to disaster.
Wanted, cheap railways, which speed and precision
To the utmost combine without e'er a collision.
Wanted, a surgeon, who risks operations
Which in fatal results ne'er attain terminations.
Wanted, investment, with view to futurity,
Highest interest yielding on safest security.
Wanted, directors, who capital use
In the boldest of ventures — to win and not lose.
Wanted, an army and fleet, by this nation.
That yearly increase with decreasing taxation.
Wanted, instead of ignoble abstention
From Europe's disputes, and meek non-intervention
In foreign affairs — which we now to be folly see,
On the part of our rulers, a "spirited policy."
Wanted, a statesman, who'll play a high game
Abroad, and still keep us at peace all the same
Wanted, doers to dare bold exploits of utility
On mischance whilst we sternly enforce liability.
What else wanted? In brief, our requirements to tell,
Wanted, pudding to eat, and yet have it as well.

Punch.