Maroccus Extaticus

by John Dando and Harry Runt

Maroccus Extaticus,
or,
Bankes
Bay Horse in a Trance.
A Discourse set downe in a Merry Dialogue between
Bankes and his beast: Anatomizing some abuses
and bad trickes of his age.

Written and intituled to mine Host of the Belsauage,
and all his honest Guests.

By Iohn Dando, the wier-drawer of Hadley,
and Harrie Runt, head Ostler
of Bosomes Inne.

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TO THE READERS.

Gentle readers, or gentlemen readers, which you will, though it past manners in us to stand a couple of eaues-dropping knaues, and steale awaie a discourse betwixt Banks and his bay horse, from Belsauage, without Ludgate, which in our conscience we must confesse is a kinde of coosning, and in a mner such a matter as if we should haue gone into a cooks shop in Fleet lane, and with the smell of roast meat filled out bellies, not emptying our purses, a flat robberie, and by a figure such a peece of filching is as punishable with ribroast among the turnespits at Pie Corner, where, a man of an ill minde may breake his fast with the sent of a peece of beefe puld piping hot out of the furnace. Yet considering the case as it concernes the commonwealth, and the nature of the subiect handled betwixt this horse and his master, which not anie in the world, I promise yee, heard or understoode but ourselues that came hether upon their busines, wee could not choose but doo as wee haue done: uerie pure loue to our contrie leading us to lay our wits together, and present the worlde with this pamphlet, which if it bee not mistaken, may as well serue to driue away pastime and good companie, as the finest philosophical discourse you can light upon. If it hang not wel together, thinke the fault is ours that carryed it not well awaie, for truly there was neuer horse in this world aunswered man with more reason, nor neuer man in this world reasond more sensibly with a horse than this man and his horse in this matter, as for example, and so committing you, (not to prison) no,—but to the reading of this dialogue, we end our Epistle to the Reader.

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INTERLOCUTORES.
Bankes and his Horse.

Bankes. Holla, Marocco, whose mare is dead, that you are thus melancoly? up I saie, and let you and me conferre a little uppon the cause, wherby matters and dealings may seeme to be so; you know my meaning.

Horse. Whereby matters and dealinges may seeme for to be? Verie good sir, spoke like a wholesome haberdasher, and as wisely, by Lady, master, as he that was sworne to his wiues friends, not to credit out his wares to anie man for the first fifteene yeeres he was married.

Bankes. And therewith mee thinkes I see him hang the hat upon the pin againe. Wast not so, Marocco? I am glad, sir, to heare you so pleasant in the threshold of my discourse, for I am come in purpose to debate a while and dialogue with you, and therefore haue at you after your watering; laie out your lipsand sweep your manger cleane, and summon your wits together, for I meane (by mine host leaue), to recreate my selfe awhile with your horsemanship.

Horse. And I am as like, master, to shew you some horse plaie as ere a nag in this parish; for tis a iade can neither whinie nor wag his taile, and you haue brought me up to both, I thanke you, and made me an understanding horse, and a horse of seruice, master, and that you know.

Bankes. I, Marocco, I know it, and acknowledge it; and so must thou, if thou haue so much ingenuitie, confesse my kindnes, thou art not onely but also bound to honest Bankes, for teaching thee so many odde prankes. I haue brought thee up right tenderly, as a baker's daughter would bring up a cosset by hand, and allow it bread and milke by the eie.

Horse. Maius peccatum habes; master, you haue the more to answere, God help you; for I warrant you (though I saie it that should not saie it), I eat more prouender in foure and twentie houres, than two of the geldings that Robin Snibor keeps, that a hires for two shillings a daie a peece.

Bankes. Two shillings, Marocco, nay, what saist thou by halfe a crowne and ten groats?

Horse. Marie, I say, three daies hire is worth four such horses, saddles and all; for a buyes them for ten pence a saddle at S. Giles, one with another, and those accoutrements are sutable to his steeds.

Bankes. Me thinkes such steedes should stand a man in small stead, by that he had ridde some fiue miles out of towne.

Horse. Yea, be sure, or halfe fiue miles either. And commonly the saddle fals asunder and splits in two peeces at the towns end, and one side takes his iourney towards Uxbridge, and the other towards Stanes, to stop mine hosts cushions of the George.

Bankes. Why thats Suum cuique, boye, for the waine-men of the West countrie and the carryers of Gloucestershire commonlye barter awaye their broken ware with the hostlers for pease and horsebread, and they returne them a horsebacke to Peter Pympe the patch pannel. Marocco, thou knowest where I am now.