Martha Spreull/Introductory

by Henry Johnston

MARTHA SPEEULL.

CHAPTER I.

INTRODUCTORY.

AM a wumman. It's as weel to let ye ken that at the ootset, for a body's notions can aye he best appraised when ye ken the circumstances in which they are formed. I got no' such a bad schuiling when I wis a lassie; but it wis, I believe, in 1843 that my interest in the higher edication began. In that ever-memorable year my faither died i' the battle of the Disruption, and left me heir to a flett o' rooms i' the eastern centre o' the city, no far frae the auld College in High Street. When looking at my case calmly about a week efter that sairest o' my earthly troubles, I said to mysel'—

"Martha, something maun be dune."

I had naturally a strong feeling against ludgers, hooever I pooked mysel' thegither. Nae doot some decent student lads wud be the better o' a kin'ly hand about them, no' to speak o' weel-aired rooms; so what did I dae but send an advertisement to the Glasgow Courier, and clap a ticket in ane o' the front windows—"Apartments to let to Students."

Frae that day to this, between bills paid and bills no' paid, my interest in edication has remained unabated. In the time that the auld College remained in High Street, efter throwing open my hoose, I put through my hands in all, six ministers, ten doctors, and a dizzen failures!—the latter mainly o' the minister class.

It is a guid while noo since I kent the College first; maist o' my earlier recollections o't are o' the gruesome kind. Body-lifting bein' then in vogue, baith in toon and country; and wi' these awesome practices, whether justly or no, the College wis associated. I can mind fine when I wis a lassie, what a tiravee wis raised ower the discovery of pairts o' a human body and skull in a close near the ootskirts o' the College buildings. So sairly did it affect my young imagination that I saw the same sicht in oor ain close in the High Street nightly for at least a month efter. Folk said that when the doctor bodies couldna get dead subjects they didna scruple to tak' leevin' anes. I mind hoo my mother wis afflicted wi' that fear.

"Martha," she wud say, "aye rin whan ye're passin' the College, and gin onybody tries to pit a plaister on yer mou' cry a' yer pith." At the time, I wis honestly i' the belief, frae stories I heard, that efter gloamin' a' the closes i' the High Street were teemin' wi' airmless, legless, and sometimes headless ghosts, wha had come to wait on the Professors for their lost limbs.

When I think o't noo the doctor creaturs o' that time maun hae gotten their body-learnin' under great disadvantages, and I'm no surprised that on hearin' o' a death frae some new cause they should have run a little risk to get at the bottom o' the trouble. Hooever, efter the passing o' the Anatomy Bill, which made proveeshun for a' unclaimed bodies being handed ower to the College for anatomical dissection, public confidence in the profession wis restored, and the only thing ye had to fear, in gaun up and doon the High Street efter gloamin', wis the losin' o' yer purse or pocket-hanky. Since I hae been asked to put pen to paper, some gey droll things hae come into my head; but they maun stan' ower till again, as this chapter is nearly lang enough already. Hooever, when talking o' my student laddies, there is ae mysterious feature aboot College life that I could never satisfy mysel' upon. It is weel enough kent that students gae clean daft in the spring-time o' every third year, as reg'lar as the time comes roon. Onybody that has watched them, as I hae dune, will no' think I am doing them an injustice by this statement. At this particular time o' the year, to fin' twa or three o' them on yer

best table at ae time, each trying to beat the air sma’ and gain some imaginary victory by dint o’ lood speakin’, is gi ’ein’ a very mild description o’ this curious malady. Mercy be praised! I aye kent when it wis cornin’ on by the colour o’ their heads. Whenever I saw them searching their kists for their red, white, and blue bonnets, I took guid care to put aside the mantelpiece ornaments. It is true the thing is blamed on the appointment and installation o’ the Lord Rector; but I canna think that the worry and excitement o’ this simple duty could so completely upset a College-fu’ o’ itherwise fairly sensible men. To satisfy mysel’ I gaed to hear Lord Palmerston, in the capacity o’ Lord Rector, at St. John’s Kirk i’ the Gallowgate, and though I saw the distemper coming to a head there, in the puir creaturs howling, throwing peas, breaking gas-pipes, tumbling the wulcats and such-like, I must own the cause o’ this periodical derangement remained as great a mystery to me as ever.