Monthly scrap book, for August/Variety of Short Scraps

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VARIETIES.

Ventriloquism.—Mr Carmichael, the Ventriloquist, when at Haddington, one day stopped a woman on the street, who had an infant in her arms, patted and praised its bonny baby cheek, and slyly inquired whether it could speak? "Speak! my certy! did ye ever hear a bairn speak at five months, that hadna first been changed by the fairies? Mine's nae wan-thriven get, an' can tak nae scaith ony way, as lang's I keep the Bible aneath the cod." This was too good an opportunity to be lost; and immediately a voice, small, shrill and sweet—aye, as sweet as the single stringed notes of Paganini, or Tommy Puck's, when his throat with fiddle-strings was lined--exclaimed, "A, mother, what a lee! ye ken I can speak weel eneugh if ye wad let me, and ye ken hoo ye feared me when I tell'd father about the glass o' whisky." The woman looked dumfounded, as she well might; and after muttering, "Preserve us! preserve us! the man's a warlock, and has witched the wean." crossed the street, and disappeared as fast as her trembling limbs could carry her. But the story was soon bruited abroad, and did more for the ventriloquist than an advertisment in the newspapers.—On another occasion, Mr Carmichael was seated on the top of a coach, in company with various other passengers, one of whom, at some point of the journey, in crossing over to the front seat, happened to stumble on a large bag. For this faux pas he suffered severely, and jumped up as nimbly as if a serpent had stung him, when he heard a voice wailing forth. "Oh dear! oh dear! ye're tramping, I tell ye, on my leg." From his looks as well as words it was obvious the man believed he had hurt a child; but a sailor who was present said it was only a kitten imitating sounds; while a third party, who know something of Carmichael's art, declared it was neither, but merely a ventriloquist. "A what?" said the honest tar, again completely out of his reckoning; and after a few moments cogitation, begged they would open the bag, and let him look at it, never leaving heard of such a beast.

The Female Soldier.—During the American war, a lively, comely, young nymph, served in the character of a soldier for nearly three years. She was about nineteen years when she enlisted; and what redounds to her honour, during the time she was in the army she displayed herself with activity, alertness, chastity, and valour; having been in several skirmishes with the enemy, and received two wounds. She was a remarkably vigilant soldier on her post, and always gained the applause and admiration of her officers. A violent illness led to the discovery of her sex, when she was discharged, and sent to her connections. The cause of her personating a man, proceeded from the rigour of her parents, who exerted their prerogative to induce her to marry a man for whom she had conceived a great antipathy. At the close of the war, an officer in the regiment in which she had served, but who had entered after she had returned to her friends, came to reside near where she lived; he was smitten with her charms, and being a handsome young fellow, the lady, without much fighting, surrendered. She proved an excellent wife and mother, and her husband has often been heard to say, "that it was the happiest moment in his life when he married the Female Soldier."

Effects of Fear.—The passion of fear sometimes shows itself upon the slightest occasions, and in persons least likely to entertain such a guest. A French author relates a whimsical instance of this kind. Charles Gustavus (the successor to Christiana) was besieging Prague, when a boor of most extraordinary visage desired admittance to his tent, and being allowed entrance, offered, by way of amusing the king, to devour a whole hog, weighing 200 weight in his presence. The old general Koningsmark, who stood by the king's side, and who, soldier as he was, had not got rid of the prejudices of his childhood, hinted to his royal master that the peasant ought to be burnt as a sorcerer. "Sir (said the fellow, irritated at the remark), if your majesty will but make that old gentleman take off his sword and spurs, I will eat him before your face, before I begin with the pig." General Koningsmark, who had at the head of a body of Swedes performed wonders against the Austrians, and who was looked upon as one of the bravest men of the age, could not however stand this proposal, and especially as it was accompanied by a most hideous and preter-natural expansion of the jaws. Without uttering a word, the veteran suddenly turned round, ran out of the tent; and did not consider himself safe until he had arrived at his quarters, where he remained above twenty-four hours locked up securely, before he recovered of the panic which had so severely affected him.

Usefulnes of Wrens.—As a devourer of pernicious insects, one of the most useful birds is the house wren. This little bird seems peculiarly fond of the society of man, and it must be confessed that it is often protected by his interested care. It has long been a custom, in many parts of the country, to fix a small box at the end of a long pole, in gardens, about houses, &c. as a place for it to build in. In these boxes they build and hatch their young. When the young are hatched, the parent bird feeds them with a variety of different insects, particularly such as are injurious in gardens. An intelligent gentleman was at the trouble to observe the number of times a pair of these birds came from their box, and returned with insects for their young. He found that they did this from forty to sixty times in an hour, and in one particular hour, the birds carried food to their young seventy-one times. In this business they were engaged the greater part of the day; say twelve hours. Taking the medium therefore of fifty times in an hour, it appeared that a single pair of these birds took from the cabbage, salad, beans, peas, and other vegetables in the garden, at least 600 insects in the course of one day. This calculation proceeds upon the supposition that the two birds took only a single insect each time. But it is highly probable they often took several at a time.