Lapsus Calami (Aug 1891)/Ode on the 450th Anniversary Celebration at Eton

←

The Street Organs Bill, 1891

Lapsus Calami
by James Kenneth Stephen

Ode on the 450th Anniversary Celebration at Eton

Steam-Launches on the Thames

→

First published in Granta, June 1891.

1991513Lapsus Calami — Ode on the 450th Anniversary Celebration at EtonJames Kenneth Stephen

Ode on the 450th Anniversary Celebration at Eton.

Think of a number: double it(If that does not surpass thy wit);Subtract a dozen: add a score:Divide by twenty: multiplyBy twice the cube of x+y,And half again as many more:Then take the twenty-seventh rootAnd logarithmic sine to boot,And if the answer does not showJust nine times fifty, make it so.

There's something more than half divineIn fifty multiplied by nine:And never integer has beenSo grand as thirty times fifteen:The total I could doubtless praiseIn many other striking ways:But this at least is very plain,―The same will never come again.

Then make an exhibition pleaseAnd summon guests from far and wide:And marry mystic melodiesTo odes instinct with proper pride.Invoke the Founder's mighty name,And boast of Gray's and Shelley's fame:For this is very sure: that weWho missed the latest jubileeShall not improbably be vexedBy missing equally the next.

Then let us resolutely striveThis mighty fact to keep alive.That 5 times 9 is 45;And furthermore the truth to fix(In their behoof whose course will runIn June of 1981)That 54 is 9 times 6.