Lapsus Calami (Aug 1891)

by James Kenneth Stephen

For other versions of this work, see Lapsus Calami.

LAPSUS CALAMI

Cambridge
PRINTED BY C. J. CLAY M.A. AND SONS
AT THE UNIVERSITY PRESS

LAPSUS CALAMI

 

BY

J. K. S.

 

NEW EDITION

WITH CONSIDERABLE OMISSIONS AND ADDITIONS

 

Cambridge
MACMILLAN AND BOWES
1891

[All Rights reserved.]

Printed April 1891.
Reprinted from standing type with slight alterations May 1891.
New Edition printed June 1891.
Fourth Edition printed August 1891.

PIO FUNDATORI.

Post quatuor iam lustra deponens togam
iam iam futurus rusticus,
alumnus olim, vile consecro tibi,
Henrice rex, opusculum.

apud Jemabad,
id. Mart. mdcccxci.

PREFACE TO THE FOURTH EDITION.

MOST of the pieces comprised in this volume have appeared in one of various Eton, Cambridge and London papers. The curious in such matters can ascertain exact particulars by reference to the earlier editions. In the first two editions will be found numerous verses not included in the present volume: while the greater part of this volume is not included in them. The third edition is substantially the same as this.

J. K. S.

Jemabad,
August, 1891.

CONTENTS.

PAGE

To C. S. C. ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

1

To R. K. ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

3

The Grand Old Pipe ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

4

Drinking Song ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

6

 

SINCERE FLATTERY.

I.

Of F. W. H. M.

1.

To One that Smokes ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

9

2.

To A. T. M. ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

10

II.

Of R. B.

1.

To A. S. ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

12

2.

The Last Ride together ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

14

3.

Midsummer ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

18

III.

Of W. W. (Americanus) ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

19

IV.

Of W. W. (Britannicus) ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

20

V.

Of T. G. ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

22

VI.

Of Lord B. ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

25

VII.

Of A. H. C. ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

28

VIII.

Of W. S. ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

32

THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE EXPRESSED DIFFERENTLY, ERRORS OF JUDGMENT AND IMPROMPTUS.

To W. H. ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

35

4th July, 1882: at Malines: Midnight ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

36

Drowning Fusee ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

37

Incompetent Ballad-Monger ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

39

Triolets Ollendorfiens ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

41

To D. J. S. ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

42

The Philosopher and Philanthropist ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

43

To a Friend ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

44

A Thought ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

45

Early School ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

46

An Election Address ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

47

 

NOVI LAPSUS.

DE LAPSIBUS PRIORIBUS.

Two Roundels.

1.

The Poet's Prayer ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

52

2.

To an Indiscreet Critic ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

53

From Three Fly Leaves.

1.

To P. L., aged 4½ ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

54

2.

To B. C. ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

55

3.

To R. C. B. ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

56

 

THE RETORT COURTEOUS.

I.

England and America.

1.

On a Rhine Steamer ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

59

2.

On a Parisian Boulevard ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

61

II.

Men and Women.

1.

In the Backs ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

63

2.

On the King's Parade ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

65

 

RESCUED FROM THE WASTE PAPER BASKET.

Parker's Piece, May 19, 1891 ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

71

The Street Organs Bill, 1891 ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

73

Ode on the 450th Anniversary Celebration at Eton ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

75

Steam Launches on the Thames ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

77

To B. H. H. (On his travels) ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

78

To Mrs B. ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

81

A Parodist's Apology ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

82

A Sonnet ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

83

To a Lady ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

84

Regrets ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

85

June 19, 1891 ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

86

To A. H. C. ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

88

To My Readers ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

91