Paddy McGinty's Goat

by Bert Lee and R. P. Weston

Mr. Patrick McGinty, an Irishman of note
Fell into a fortune and he bought himself a goat
Says he, "sure a goat's milk, I'm goin' to have me fill"
But when he brought the nanny home he found it was a bill
All the young ladies who live in Killaloe
They're all wearing bustles like their mothers used to do
They each wear a bolster beneath their petticoat
And save the rest for providence and for Paddy McGinty's goat

Mrs. Burke to her daughter said, "listen Mary Ann
Who is the lad you were cuddlin' in the lane
He had long wiry whiskers hangin' from his chin"
"Twas only Pat McGinty's goat," she answered with a grin
Then she went away from the village in disgrace
She came back with powder and paint upon herface
She'd rings on her fingers and she wore a sable coat
You can bet your life she never got that from Paddy McGinty's goat

Little Nora Mccarthy the knot was goin' to tie
She washed out her trousseau and she hung it out to dry
Along came the goat and he saw the bits of white
He chewed up all her falderals and on her wedding night
"Oh turn out the gas quick," she shouted out to Pat
"For though I'm your bride sure I'm not worth lookin' at
I had two of everything I told you when I wrote
But now I'm wearing nothin' thanks to Paddy McGinty's goat"

Mickey Reilly he went to the races the other day
He won twenty dollars and he shouted "Hip Hooray"
He held up the bank-note sayin' "Look at what I've got"
Along came Paddy McGinty's goat and swallowed up the lot
"He's eaten me bank note" said Mickey with the hump
They sent for the doctor to get the stomach pump
Oh they pumped and they pumped for the twenty dollar note
But all they got was ninepence out of Paddy McGinty's goat

Well the bould Irish guards, you'd think it was romance
They adopted the goat and they brought him off to France
The day that they landed he heard the bugle blow
He ducked his little cranium and he ran to meet the foe
The Germans retreated, hurriedly they fled
Holding their noses they tumbled over dead
"Ach," says the Kaiser, "there's poison gas afloat,
But it was only the effluvium from Paddy McGinty's goat"

Off the west coast of Ireland one morning they were seen
As plain as any pikes there were German submarines
When coast-guard Maloney fell into a fit
Says Paddy McGinty's goat, "It's time for me to do me bit"
He jumped into the water as frisky as a whale
Swam around the u-boat wagging his little tail
He upped with his horn and he stuck it in the boat
And sent them all to Heligoland did Paddy McGinty's Goat

Now Paddy McGinty's goat had a wondrous appetite
One morning for breakfast he ate some dynamite
Then a big box of matches he swallowed with a grin
And when he had his fill of that he drank some paraffin
He sat by the fireside, he didn't give a hang
Swallowed a spark and exploded with a bang
So, if you go to heaven you can bet your dollar note
That the angel with the whiskers on is Paddy McGinty's goat