to 'favour the writer with a proof' that I still continue of opinion that 'the best of the argument is in my jokes, and the best of the joke is in his arguments.' I will not so favour him. At the very outset I told him in plain English that he has the whiphand of all the reasoners in the world, and in plain French that il a perdu le droit d'être frappé de l'évidence; I might have said pendu. To which I now add, in plain Latin, Sapienti pauca, indocto nihil. The law of Chancery says that he who will have equity must do equity: the law of reasoning says that he who will have proof must see proof.
The introduction of things quite irrelevant, by way of reproach, is an argument in universal request: and it often happens that the argument so produced really tells against the producer. So common is it that we forget how boyish it is; but we are strikingly reminded when it actually comes from a boy. In a certain police court, certain small boys were arraigned for conspiring to hoot an obnoxious individual on his way from one of their school exhibitions. This proceeding was necessary, because there seemed to be a permanent conspiracy to annoy the gentleman; and the masters did not feel able to interfere in what took place outside the school. So the boys were arraigned; and their friends, as silly in their way as themselves, allowed one of them to make the defence, instead of employing counsel; and did not even give them any useful hints. The defence was as follows; and any one who does not see how richly it sets off the defences of bigger boys in bigger matters has much to learn. The innocent conviction that there was answer in the latter part is delightful. Of course fine and recognizance followed.
A said the boys had received great provocation from B. He was constantly threatening them with a horsewhip which he carried in his hand [the boy did not say what had passed to induce him to take such a weapon], and he had repeatedly insulted the master, which the boys could not stand. B had in his own drawing-room told him (A) that he had drawn his sword against the master and thrown away the scabbard. B knew well that if he came to the college he would catch it, and then he went off through a side door— which was no sign of pluck; and then he brought Mrs. B with him, thinking that her presence would protect him.
My readers may expect a word on Mr. Thorn's sermons, after my account of his queer doings about 666. He is evidently an honest and devout man, much wanting in discrimination. He has a sermon about private judgment, in which he halts between
