XI.—The Jazz Webster
Actor. One handicapped more by a wooden leg than by a wooden head.
Adultery. Democracy applied to love.
Alimony. The ransom that the happy pay to the devil.
Anti-Vivisectionist. One who gags at a guinea-pig and swallows a baby.
Archbishop. A Christian ecclesiastic of a rank superior to that attained by Christ.
Argument. A means of persuasion. The agents of argumentation under a democracy, in the order of their potency, are (a) whiskey, (b) beer, (c) cigars, (d) tears.
Axiom. Something that everyone believes. When everyone begins to believe anything it ceases to be true. For example, the notion that the homeliest girl in the party is the safest.
Ballot Box. The altar of democracy. The cult served upon it is the worship of jackals by jackasses.
Brevity. The quality that makes ciga-
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