not define, something I could not foresee. But day after day, day after day, there was only deathly stillness.
I went out even less than I used to do. I only sat and lay in a limitless expanse of emptiness and allowed the deathly stillness to eat away my soul. Sometimes this deathly stillness seemed to tremble for fear of itself, seemed to retire of its own will. It was at such times, when the deathly stillness was in temporary retirement, that the undefinable, unexpected new hope flashed before me.
One dark forenoon, before the sun had been able to struggle out from behind the clouds, when even the air seemed weary, I heard the patter of light footsteps and a sound of sniffing. I opened my eyes, and I glanced around the room; it was empty, as usual. But I chanced to look down, and there, curled up on the floor I saw a tiny creature, lean, weak, half dead and covered with dirt.
I steadied my glance and my heart stopped. I jumped up. It was Ah Sui. He had come back.
It was not only because of the chilly glances of the landlady and her maidservant that I left Chi-chao Hutung; it was mostly because of Ah Sui. But "where to go?" There were, indeed, many new roads to life of which I had some vague knowledge. Sometimes I seemed to catch actual glimpses of them right in front of my eyes; but I did not know the necessary first step which would enable me to break into those new regions.
After many deliberations and comparisons, the Guild appeared to be the most suitable place as far as lodgings were concerned. So I came here. It is the same dingy room, the same bed of boards, the same half-dead locust tree and wisteria, but that which used to fill me with hope, joy, love,
