Page:Ah Q and Others.djvu/48

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14
My Native Heath

The chickens can stick their necks through the bars to get at the feed while the dogs can only stare through them in exasperation. Hence the name.) As she made off with it, Mother said she never suspected that Sister Yang was capable of running so fast, with her small bound feet and high heels.

I felt no regret as our old house and native hills and streams dropped behind us. I only had an oppressive sense of being surrounded and isolated from the world by invisible walls and a feeling of sadness because the image of my little hero with a silver ring around his neck in the watermelon patch had suddenly become blurred and indistinct, whereas, before, it had been so sharp and clear.

Both mother and Hung-erh had fallen asleep.

As I lay in my corner and listened to the sound of water lapping against the boat, I knew that we were on our way. What a barrier had come between Yun-t'u and myself! There was, fortunately, no such barrier between the younger generation as yet (was not Hung-erh thinking about Shui-sheng and asking about him?) and I hoped that no such barrier would ever come between them. However, I did not want them to live, as a price for their continued companionship, the bitter and rootless life that I lived; I did not want them to live the bitter and wretched life that Yun-t'u lived; I did not want them to live the bitter and shameless life that others lived. They must have a new kind of life, a life that we of the older generation had not known.

As I realized what I was doing, I suddenly became afraid. I had laughed to myself when Yun-t'u asked for the incense burner and candlesticks and had pitied him because he could not for a moment forget his superstitions. But what was this so-called hope of mine if not also an idol fashioned with our own hands? The only difference between us was