24
A NATURAL MISTAKE.
The late witty Samuel William Riley, author of The Itinerant, seeing a proud and solemn calf of sixty, swelling down Lord Street, Liverpool, accosted him, politely touching his hat, 'Excuse me, sir, stopping you in the street, but I just wished to inquire the rent of the house No. 10 Great George Street?' 'Sir,' replied his haughtiness, I have no house in Great George Street.' 'Oh! I beg a thousand pardons, sir,' said Mr. R., 'I thought all the town belonged to you!'
HIGHWAYMAN AND SAILOR.
One of the Dover stages, on its way to London, was stopped by a single highwayman, who was informed by the coachman there were no passengers inside, and only one in the basket, and he was a sailor. The robber then proceeded to exercise his employment on the tar: when, waking him out of his sleep, Jack demanded what he wanted; to which the son of plunder replied, 'Your money.' 'You shan't have it,' said Jack. 'No' replied the robber: 'then I'll blow your brains out.' 'Blow away, then you land-lubber,' cried Jack, squirting the tobacco juice out of his mouth, 'I may as well go to London without brains as without money: drive on, coachman.'
IRISH PATRIOTISM.
At Waterloo, a Highland regiment and the Scots Greys met in the thickest of the fight, and raised the cry of 'Scotland for ever!' 'And ould Ireland for longer!' exclaimed an Irish dragoon.
DROWSY REPLY.
Sir Edward Bulwer Lytton tells a story of a certain merchant, who, sleeping in a commercial hotel, had given orders overnight that he should be called at a particular hour. Boots was punctual. 'The morning has broke, sir,' said he, drawing the curtain. 'Let it break and go to the mischief!' replied the sleepy trader; 'it owes me nothing!'
EVILS OF WAR.
One of Punch's friends who was present at the battle of Navarino, in the peaceful capacity of a passenger, received a cannon ball in his chest, which utterly destroyed a dozen shirts that were packed up in it!
