with what feelings an artiste who enters seriously into a part, dresses for the representation. The nearer the moment approached, the greater was my alarm. When it did arrive, and as I ought to have sung the ominous words and pointed the pistol at the governor, I fell into such utter tremor at the thought of not being perfect in my character, that my whole form trembled, and I thought I should have fallen.
"Now only fancy how I felt when the whole house broke forth into enthusiastic shouts of applause, and what I thought when, after the curtain fell, I was told that this moment was the most effective and powerful of my whole representation.
"That which I could not attain with every effort of mind and imagination, was produced at this decisive moment by my unaffected terror and anxiety. This result, and the effect it had upon the public, taught me how to seize and comprehend the incident; so that which at the first representation I had hit upon unconsciously, I adopted in full consciousness ever afterward in this part."
140.—THE PECULIARITIES OF GENIUS.
Men of genius live a double existence. Their better and greater selves are within. They show their true being in their works. The man of genius is wrapped up in his contemplation, in his study, in his evolution of some thought, or some art work. The external life is a necessity, of course, but is more of an unpleasant incident than an enjoyable reality. Let those whose whole life is external and superficial give their time and effort to the mere matter of living pleasantly. The man of genius has something deeper and better to do. But as the everyday life is to be lived, let it come as it may, and within it he will do as the caprice of the moment moves him, without regard to the conventionalities of the world.
