A little, old, bent-over lydy, wiv glasses an’ silvery ’air;
Must tell ’er I planted ’im nicely, cheer ’er up like.… (Well, I’m blowed,
That bullet near catched me a biffer)–I’ll see the old gel if I’m spared.
She’ll tike it to ’eart, pore ol’ lydy, fer ’e was ’er ’ope and ’er joy;
’Is dad used to drink like a knot-’ole, she kept the ’ome goin’, she did:
She pinched and she scriped fer ’is scoolin’, ’e was sich a fine ’andsome boy
(’Alf Flanders seems packed on me panties)–’e’s ’andsome no longer, pore kid!
This bit o’ a board that I’m packin’ and draggin’ around in the mire,
I was tickled to death when I found it. Says I, “’Ere’s a nice little glow.”
I was chilled and wet through to the marrer, so I started to make me a fire;
And then I says: “No; ’ere, Goblimy, it’ll do for a cross for Joe.”
Well, ’ere ’e is. Gawd! ’Ow one chinges a-lyin’ six weeks in the rain.
Joe, me old pal, ’ow I’m sorry; so ’elp me, I wish I could pray.
An’ now I ’ad best get a-diggin’ ’is grave (It seems more like a drain)–