A HARD-LUCK YARN.
That ball riz and sailed till the people all paled, when it turned to a vanishin' speck;
And me hands was swelled up like a fat, poisoned pup, while the bat I used was a wreck.
Clean over the ocean, like lightnin' in motion, it whizzled and whistled and whirled;
Over China, Japan, it bounded and ran, till it traveled the length of the world.
And me hands was swelled up like a fat, poisoned pup, while the bat I used was a wreck.
Clean over the ocean, like lightnin' in motion, it whizzled and whistled and whirled;
Over China, Japan, it bounded and ran, till it traveled the length of the world.
With a most vicious swipe it dismantled the pipe in the mouth of King Edward at tea;
Then it veered to the Rhine, where it busted a stein which der Kaiser was holdin', you see;
And it gave quite a jar to the badly scared Czar when it toppled his throne to the ground;
But it went on its way with the speed of H. Bay, with a hop and a skip and a bound.
Then it veered to the Rhine, where it busted a stein which der Kaiser was holdin', you see;
And it gave quite a jar to the badly scared Czar when it toppled his throne to the ground;
But it went on its way with the speed of H. Bay, with a hop and a skip and a bound.
That night, with a sigh and a tear in his eye, the captain give me my release;
For the President wired that I had to be fired for the good of the country and peace.
'He hits 'em too hard and too fur from the yard,' was the message the President sent.
'He has raised complications with neighborly nations; and I am a peaceable gent.'
For the President wired that I had to be fired for the good of the country and peace.
'He hits 'em too hard and too fur from the yard,' was the message the President sent.
'He has raised complications with neighborly nations; and I am a peaceable gent.'
So they turned me adrift and I gave up my shift; and that's why I'm out of the game.
I was too bloomin' good, or I'm certain I would have acquired quite a notable name."
I was too bloomin' good, or I'm certain I would have acquired quite a notable name."
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