The anonymous author of A Trip through the Town; or, a Humorous View of Men and Things, gives the following amusing account of the Park of St James's as it was:—
"For the benefit of this part of the metropolis, which includes the beau monde, the King has given liberty to all idle people to walk in St James's Park. Here is the Mall, famous for being the rendezvous of the gay and gallant, who assemble here to see and be seen, to censure and be censured—the ladies to show their fine clothes, and the productions of the toilet—the men to show their toupees, observe all the beauties, and fix upon some favourite to toast that evening at the tavern. Every one here is curious in examining those who pass them, and are very nice and very malicious. In this place of general concourse, people often join into the company of those whom they either deride or hate; for company is not sought here for the sake of conversation, but persons couple together to get a little confidence, and embolden themselves against the general reflections of the place. They talk continually, no matter of what, for they talk only to be taken notice of by those who pass by them; for which reason they raise their voices for them who know them, not to pass without a bow en passant. At this place ladies walk four or five miles in a morning, with all the alacrity imaginable, who at home think it an insupportable fatigue to journey from one end of their chamber to another.
"I have seen a beau stand reconnoitring the Mall, divided within himself in as many minds as a lady in a lace chamber, to think which set of company he shall annex himself to; and, to avoid the fatal consequences of making a false step, use as much caution as a prudent parent would do in the matrimonial disposition of a daughter. An escaping eye has often passed over a gentleman usher, when a groom of the bedchamber has been diligently pursued from one end of the Park to the other. A plain Irish lord shall be able to lead half a dozen laced coats up and down, like so many beagles in a string; and I have ere now seen him as much neglected as an honest poor family in distress, upon the sight of a ribbon, though 'tis surprising to think what an attractive quality every ribbon, according to its colour, hath in this place.
"I once happened to fall into a file of very fine fellows in this place, and remember that, when we began our march, we reckoned one French suit, though something sullied, three pair of clock stockings, one suit of Paduasoy, two embroidered waistcoats, the one a little tarnished, and two pair of velvet breeches. We made a most formidable show, carrying the whole breadth of the Mall, and sweeping all before us. We thought ourselves at least capable of acting on the defensive; but, by that we had got opposite to Godolphin House, we were convinced of our error, for here a puppy, in a French suit, pulling out a most extravagantly rich snuff-box, no less than three deserted at once, and went over to the enemy. As one misfortune seldom comes alone, a modern gold-headed cane, in the hands of a gamester, deprived us of two more of our company; so that, all on a sudden, our corps was dwindled away, like the South Sea project, and began to look as thin as a House of Parliament on a thirtieth of January sermon, or as an independent company of foot!
"In this plight the remains of us stood, staring upon each other as stupidly as the country people do when they go to view the royal apartments at Hampton Court, not knowing whether it was best to advance or retreat; fortunately for us, in this dilemma we enlisted one of the most beautiful sword-knots that ever came into the kingdom; we could perceive recruits coming to us from every quarter, and, in less than seven minutes, got ourselves into statu quo. Several revolutions of this kind happened to us in the space of about two hours, till at last I was left only with a little strutting fellow, who called himself secretary to a foreign mission, and him I got rid of by his fixing his eye upon a periwig that appeared to be made about a month later than mine was."
