be-times, for that is [the] sicker way. Forsooth he that hath late turned him and giveth him to penance, he shall be in doubt and uncertain, for he wot not whether his penance be true or feigned. Woe to me that hath so long suffered for to amend my life. Alas I have too long tarried for to get me heal. Lo all my days be passed and lost, and wretchedly been perished and gone so negligently that I wot not whether I have spent one day of them all in the will of God; and the exercises of all virtues not done so worthily and so perfectly as peraventure I might and should have done, or else if I ever did to my Maker so pleasant service and acceptable as mine estate asketh. Alas, for sorrow thus it is, wherefore all mine inward affections [have] been sore wounded. O God everlasting, how shameful shall I stand at the doom before Thee and all Thy saints, when I shall be compelled to give answer and reason of all that I have done and let undone. And what shall I say hereto, but at next [1] is my tribulation, then [when] I pass forth from this world. Take now heed of me I pray you busily. Lo, in this hour I would have more joy of a little short prayer, as of an Ave Maria, said devoutly of me, than a thousand pounds of silver or gold.
O my God, how many goods have I negligently lost. Soothly now know I that as [to] the greatness of heavenly needs, it should more have availed me a busy keeping of mine heart, and all my wits with cleanness of heart, than that I lost, or by inordinate
- ↑ i.e. the nearest or first thing.
