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Page:Caine - An Angler at Large (1911).djvu/153

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OF AN ASS
135

it back. "It is the only one that I have which will stay in five minutes," said Mercy.

And I walk up all the hills.

And I really love the ass. He has an adorable nose.

On hills I find that a certain form of address is perhaps less useless with the ass than any other stimulus. It is necessary to imagine oneself a member of the criminal classes, to assume a vile, raucous, but muffled utterance, and to take words upon one's lips which no gentleman could possibly use. It is not necessary to articulate these words distinctly, thank Heaven! But though they be dissembled under mouthings, the intention to utter them must be there, and the criminal mind must be assumed as far as possible. This machinery, set going, produces such intimidating sounds that I have seen my wife shrink from me involuntarily, though she knows my golden nature to its core; as for the ass, they have driven him once as much as fifty paces at over four miles an hour.

To pull on the bridle as one walks up hill by the ass's side is madness. He believes that you are trying to pull him up the hill. And he lets you.

So time ends, eternity has grown very old, and we reach the summit and our picnic ground.